# The Near Future, according to Jack Chick **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 28, 2004, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672 "2004-10-28T15:01:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/41 "2004-10-28T21:25:21Z")
> [@Sweetums](#): > > The question is, I know that he is wearing a pistol on his right hip (my guess with all the nazi imagery in this tract, a luger would be best), what is the device on his left hip? That must be where he keeps the hypodermic shown on the cover. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/42 "2004-10-28T22:42:16Z")
Holy CREEPY Christ! > [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > These insane criminals believe Jesus Christ invented the universe > > Haw haw! > Everyone knows it was Darwin. I thought it was Al Gore… ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/43 "2004-10-28T22:49:44Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > It says right there on the panel, “They’re in the clouds with Christ”. Jeez. > \* Oh, thank God! And here I was afraid the Catholics got them. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/44 "2004-10-28T23:19:04Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > \*Picture yourself in a cabin in the woods > With tangerine logs and marmalade roof > A trumpet calls you, you answer quite quick > A savior with stigmata and loincloth > A crown of thorns upon his brown hair > Floating over your head > Look for the Christ before the black copters arrive > And you’re gone > > Jesus in the sky with fundies … > \* William Shatner is Jack Chick … in _Star Tract: The Last Generation_! ---
**Author:** ![WaryEri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ea666f/32.png) [@WaryEri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WaryEri)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/45 "2004-10-29T00:56:25Z")
Silly healers. if they’d put the rat cage on his face instead of using the pain chip, he woulda turned on Jesus in a heartbeat. New Age Healer Man looks like Skeletor in the last panel. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/46 "2004-10-29T01:25:37Z")
Why does the New Age Healer have a [foreskin on his head?](http://www.chick.com/tractimages47731/0094/0094_01.gif) Or is that a really stupid question? It might explain the schoolteacher’s “ **great** pleasure”, now that I think about it. ---
**Author:** ![shamrock227](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/47 "2004-10-29T01:52:54Z")
Homebrew, you’re my hero 😃 All I can picture is Jack Chick dying and getting to the gates of Heaven. Jesus will greet him personally, and say, “Jack, you spread The Word and that was really great. However, you were self righteous asshole about it. Enjoy Hell! Have a nice day” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/48 "2004-10-29T01:59:36Z")
I guess this is what those extreme fundies think is the goal when folks try to get the ten commandments out of courthouses and stuff. Interesting little look into their minds. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/49 "2004-10-29T02:02:27Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > I’m willing to bet that any persecution such as this is actually based on political coersion, ethnic squabbles, long-standing rivalaries or some other reason rather than purely on being “Christian”. > > . No, its because they’re christians. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/50 "2004-10-29T02:08:01Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > I’m willing to bet that any persecution such as this is actually based on political coersion, ethnic squabbles, long-standing rivalaries or some other reason rather than purely on being “Christian”. > > I’m going to be preemptively bring up the cases of Heather Mercer and Dana Curry. Their troubles with the Taliban were because they were trying to convert Muslims away from their faith. It matters not whether they were trying to convert them to Christianity or Taoism. Preaching any religion besides Islam would have caused the same woes. To demonstrate persecution against Christians, you’ll have to show that Christianity is the primary cause. Hmmm, yeah, you’ve got a point there. Or else it’s the wrong kind of Christianity-look at Northern Ireland. But basically **vanilla** is crazy if she thinks it’ll happen here. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/51 "2004-10-29T02:10:34Z")
No, I’m not. Things can change, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/52 "2004-10-29T02:13:26Z")
> [@vanilla](#): > > No, I’m not. > Things can change, you know. Things would have to change a great deal before that scenario would be even remotely possible. And the idea that the fucking JESUITS would be behind it is fucking insane. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/53 "2004-10-29T02:18:15Z")
Oh, I never agreed with _that_ part of it. I don’t even know who the Jesuits are. ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/54 "2004-10-29T02:42:17Z")
> [@vanilla](#): > > I don’t even know who the Jesuits are. :eek: [http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/14081a.htm](http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/14081a.htm) ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/55 "2004-10-29T03:20:46Z")
But I thought the Masons were gonna rule the world. That’s why I joined. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/56 "2004-10-29T03:22:34Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > But I thought the Masons were gonna rule the world. That’s why I joined. The Jews won’t give 'em a cut of the action. ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/57 "2004-10-29T04:37:20Z")
It’s funny I liked **vanilla** but last Oct I lost respect for her when she said she liked Chick and handed his tracts out during Halloween. Since then seeing her posts since then I gained respect for her again. Now oct rolls around and it’s back to Chick again. I can’t respect someone that buys into the paranoid ravings of a conspiracy freak like Jack Chick. Could it happen in America? Currently not even a remote chance. Even if we went to war against a Christian fundamentalist country the nation would riot if they started rounding up Christians…after all they’re not dark of skin or ‘foreigners’ that are easily identified and dehumanized like other groups that we’ve rounded up in the past (i.e. Japanese WWII and recently Muslims). Sure it’s POSSIBLE that an entirely different government could take control during a period of time Christians are a minority group and persecute them…but it won’t be in my lifetime and I doubt it’ll ever happen in any form. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/58 "2004-10-29T09:54:53Z")
You’ve all failed to see the true horror: newsreaders are going to start wearing paisley cravats again! Our Father, which art in heaven… ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/59 "2004-10-29T10:24:01Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > The Jews won’t give 'em a cut of the action. But I personally know some Masons who are Jews, and I even know some Jews who are Masons. I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![sugaree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@sugaree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugaree)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/60 "2004-10-29T10:28:12Z")
> [@shamrock227](#): > > Homebrew, you’re my hero 😃 > > All I can picture is Jack Chick dying and getting to the gates of Heaven. Jesus will greet him personally, and say, “Jack, you spread The Word and that was really great. However, you were self righteous asshole about it. Enjoy Hell! Have a nice day” 😃 And then Jesus will say, “HAW HAW!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672.md?page=4)