# The Near Future, according to Jack Chick **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 28, 2004, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672 "2004-10-28T15:01:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![PaulFitzroy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2acd7d/32.png) [@PaulFitzroy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaulFitzroy)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2004, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/101 "2004-10-31T23:59:01Z")
I thought I’d take this opporitunity to share the fake news story about a woman who thought the rapture was at hand after seeing helium-filled blow-up dolls floating skywards… From [Snopes:](http://www.snopes.com/religion/rapture.htm) > [@](#): > > ARKANSAS CITY (AP) — > > A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car’s sun roof during an incident best described as “a mistaken rapture” by dozens of eye witnesses. Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she claimed was Jesus. > > “She started screaming “He’s back, He’s back” and climbed right out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car,” said Everett Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene. “I was slowing down but she wouldn’t wait till I stopped,” Williams said. > > She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say. “This is the strangest thing I’ve seen since I’ve been on the force,” said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene. Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was dressed up as Jesus and was on his way to a toga costume party when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow up sex dolls filled with helium which floated up into the air. > > Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who’s been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration, and said , “Come back here,” just as the Williams’ car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into the sky as they passed by him, according to her husband, who says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else. > > When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied “This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen.” ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2004, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/102 "2004-11-01T00:10:04Z")
Oh lordy, how sad. **vanilla** , don’t **you** pull something like that, 'mkay? Believe in the Rapture all you like, but if you think it might be starting, please don’t try to help Jesus out by jumping off a high or moving object! We need intelligent and reasonable people like you around for as long as we can keep you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2004, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/103 "2004-11-01T00:26:15Z")
> [@vanilla](#): > > 1. Some people who see the rapture happen will realize its true then get converted. > > 2.You cannot prove its ridiculous, you must not know many christians, everyone I know believes it. Oh yes I can prove it. I don’t even need anything but the ability to actually read what is written, and I can do that just fine with a good English translation (it’s not like I have to go back to the original Greek.) I suggest getting a copy of Craig G. Hill’s _In God’s Time_ and reading the article in the appendix, entitled “Not Left Behind.” > [@vanilla](#): > > The rapture theology has been around for many years, a lot of people interpret Daniel and Revelation that way. And they’re massively, massively wrong. Daniel was written during the reign of Antiochus IV probably around 167 or 166 BC. This can be seen within the text and corralates nicely with other sources around the time, mostly 1 Maccabees. Revelation is dated to somewhere between AD 54 and AD 96, due to various data and references by John of Patmos inside the text. Some references appear to suggest Nero and some Domatin. In any case, both are meant for a specific audience in a specific time, like all the other apocalyptic literature. 4 Ezra (which is inside 2 Esdras) or the apocalypses written in the names of figures like Adam or Abraham or Enoch. Daniel is pseudonymous as well. They are _not_ supposed to be accurate predictions thousands of years later. Quite frankly, I don’t understand fundamentalists, because they spend more time and go into more contortions defending their literalism and that every word is correct, even the stuff that appears to conflict with other stuff, than the time it would take to do a far more useful biblical study which would not only be true and accurate to the text and the time the texts were written but would actually be more useful in being able to see what the bible says to a Christian today. Can someone please help me out here? **Diogenes** or **Polycarp** perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2004, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/104 "2004-11-01T01:11:22Z")
> [@PaulFitzroy](#): > > I thought I’d take this opporitunity to share the fake news story about a woman who thought the rapture was at hand after seeing helium-filled blow-up dolls floating skywards… > > From [Snopes:](http://www.snopes.com/religion/rapture.htm) Oh man, that’s hysterical. I wish I was a good enough writer to have made that one when I was trying to make and spread a fake urban legend… ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2004, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/105 "2004-11-01T01:18:36Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Oh man, that’s hysterical. I wish I was a good enough writer to have made that one when I was trying to make and spread a fake urban legend… I remember that thread when you said you want to make up an urban legend! How did that work out? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2004, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/106 "2004-11-01T01:21:41Z")
> [@vanilla](#): > > I have read the rapture theology goes way back, will need to find the links. > > Its a doctrine of joy and hope and justice. > All these nasty things going on, some that are never going to be found out on earth; justice. > There is something to look forward to. > New earth, new Heavens, New Jerusalem. > > DOn’t agree, doesn’t matter. > I believe it and know it, and am looking forward to it. > Now I am on my way to the library. The _LIBRARY?_ On a _SUNDAY?_. Wow, your county budget must be having a kick-ass year. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2004, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/107 "2004-11-01T02:44:54Z")
I don’t know where vanilla calls home, but our library here in Topeka stays open on Sunday. Pretty damned decent library too. The facility is nearly brand new. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2004, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/108 "2004-11-01T02:57:26Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > I remember that thread when you said you want to make up an urban legend! > > How did that work out? Complete failure. I tried a couple, and they not only didn’t spread, one of them could have been construed as a slam against an actual store. I tried very hard to be ethical, but in some of the few discussions about the UL (in the places I planted it) they thought it was an attempt to slur a business. I stupidly made up a fictional store name that was pretty close to a real store. Good thing that one didn’t spread. I’ll try again, if I can think of a decent sounding one that seems clear of any ethical problems. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2004, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/109 "2004-11-01T02:59:10Z")
I call a suburb of Cleveland Ohio home. Heck, the Lakewood Ohio library is open til 9 p.m. on Sundays! 12 blow up dolls? Why 12? Disciples… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2004, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/110 "2004-11-01T05:52:35Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Ask your self, do you know who the Gay Jewish Masons really are? The Jaysons? ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2004, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/111 "2004-11-01T10:50:09Z")
**Asterion** , Rapture Theology comes up in GD at intervals. [Here’s one fairly recent thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=264998&highlight=Rapture+theology) The title has harsh language, but to me, rapture theology is a harsh, bitter, cruel theology, filled with lies, including ones such as it’s been around for more than a couple of hundred years and all Christians believe it. To me, it’s repellant and a tool to drive people from Christ. There is little of love or mercy in it, none of the care and respect for outsiders Christ showed in His life and ministry, and a great deal of the cruel, legalistic judgement Christ denounced. CJ ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2004, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/112 "2004-11-01T14:02:50Z")
> [@Siege](#): > > . . . to me, rapture theology is a harsh, bitter, cruel theology, filled with lies, including ones such as it’s been around for more than a couple of hundred years and all Christians believe it. To me, it’s repellant and a tool to drive people from Christ. Hmmm . . . like one of those _devious lies_ God is supposed to send down to sucker people away from “the true path?” ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2004, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/113 "2004-11-01T16:09:51Z")
:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2004, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/114 "2004-11-01T17:12:51Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Hmmm . . . like one of those _devious lies_ God is supposed to send down to sucker people away from “the true path?” If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and its quack doesn’t echo . . . Actually, though, Christian that I am, I’d place the blame on man, not God. People make up and believe lies like this for all sorts of reasons, perhaps to improve their own reputation for holiness and knowing God’s special message, perhaps to increase their own power, if only over their own followers. After all, if a deviation from the One Truth as revealed by Pastor So-and-so means you’ll suffer unbelievable torment for all eternity, you have a pretty strong incentive to do and believe what he says. It seems to me there are also some people who aren’t happy to get into heaven unless a certain number of people get sent to hell. I’m still working on the ratio of how many people have to go to hell for them to be happy in heaven, mostly because I’m not sure of what assumptions they’re using. I mean, the majority of the people in the world aren’t Christians. Therefore, if they’re figuring in the entire population of the world, the ration of people going to heaven versus people going to hell is well below 1:1. On the other hand, if they’re figuring on the United States only, if we take that 80% Christian figure which got bandied about earlier, perhaps a 4:1 heaven to hell ratios all right. If they’re figuring only on people they know or people in their town, we may well be talking 95% or even 99% Christian, aka “everyone in town except old Joe the Atheist who had a falling out with the preacher” in which case, it might be as high as 99:1 heaven to hell. Nevertheless, apparently, in order for some people to be happy in heaven, they have to believe in the suffering of others, even if it’s only the unjust, unSaved, and otherwise worthless types. :rolleyes: CJ ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/115 "2004-11-01T18:02:51Z")
> [@Siege](#): > > Rapture theology is an American invention that has been around for less than 200 years. Actually, Siege, it’s a British-Isles invention. Welsh Baptist minister Morgan Edwards seems to have first developed the idea of an interval between the Rapture & the Return of Christ (he had the interval at 3 1/2 years for the reign of AntiChrist). He presented it as a novel theory in a college paper around the 1750s, but its unknown if he ever preached it when he became a pastor in colonial America. 1830’s Britain though really saw PreTrib Rapturism launch out as Presbyterian proto-charismatic Edward Irving’s congregation had members who promoted it, Scottish proto-charismatic teenage girl Margaret MacDonald had an extended vision which did the same, while Irish-born Anglican priest turned Plymouth Brethren theologian John Nelson Darby really worked out the intricacies of Dispensationalist theology (including the “seven year Tribulation” as the unfulfilled "70th Week of Daniel 9). ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2004, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/116 "2004-11-01T18:10:35Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Has there ever been a situation in history when the freaking _majority_ was rounded up and put into camps? I’d wouldn’t lose too much sleep over this possibility **vanilla**. Following the withdrawal of American forces from Southeast Asia in the early '70’s, the Khmer Rouge, hardline Stalinists under the leadership of Pol Pot, came to power in Cambodia and immediately instituted a massive “reform” program which involved herding almost the entire population of Cambodia into the countryside where they lived in crude camps and villages. The conditions of the camps and villages were horrible by any reasonable and humane standard, and inmates were subject to arbitrary torture and execution. The slightest ideological deviation could be grounds for death. Executions were often done with axes or blunt instruments to save ammunition. Estimates of the dead range from 800,000 to 3,300,000. Mao’s China and Stalin’s Russia would also be excellent examples of societies gone brutally insane. Granted, Chick’s vision of a totalitarion future is wacko, but there are historical precedents for entire societies becoming virtual slaughterhouses. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2004, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/117 "2004-11-01T18:29:00Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Ehh? God forces people to believe a lie? In what way is this to be distinguished from God doing the lying? For that matter, in what was can this scenario posit a God who truly allows His creatures to have free will? > > It’s been said here before (not to you specifically, to my knowledge): you might want to think about believing less in the Bible, and more in God. Here’s the whole of the relevant passage- II Thessalonians 2:9-11 9 The coming of the lawless one is by the activity of Satan with all power and false signs and wonders, 10 and with all wicked deception for those who are perishing, because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. 11 Therefore God sends them a strong delusion, so that they may believe what is false, 12 in order that all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness. The passage speaks of the Man of Sin/Son of Perdition/Lawless One’s (aka AntiChrist) rise to power and defeat by Jesus. Paul notes in v 10 that the deception will come to those “who refuse to love the truth and so be saved”, adding in v 12 that they not only disbelieved the truth but “had pleasure in unrighteousness”. So this is the order, these people refusing to accept the Truth of Christ’s Gospel then get from God exactly what they want and deserve- a delusion & a false messiah they will believe. Btw, I believe this could well apply to the first century AD, when those who opposed the Gospel got the Herods & the Annas-family Priesthood & Nero Caesar & various other false prophets & messianic pretenders to fall behind. We can look into the past century, when the Russians rejected the social democratic reforms of the Kerensky government and thus got the Bolsheviks, or when the Germans ultimately rejected the Weimar democracy and thus got the Nazis. Thomas Jefferson has been quoted (accurately?) as saying that people get the government they deserve. Paul anticipates this by saying that if people reject the Truth, God’s gonna give them the Lie they want. (Btw, a Hebraic view that arises in similar OT passages is that, in allowing something to happed, God ordains it to happen. Whether God allows a bad thing or causes a bad thing wasn’t a big debate among the Hebrews- the real issue is that we are responsible for our choices & He is responsible to redeem the whole mess.) ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2004, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/118 "2004-11-01T19:28:49Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > So this is the order, these people refusing to accept the Truth of Christ’s Gospel > then get from God exactly what they want and deserve- a delusion & a false messiah they will believe. > > if people reject the Truth, God’s gonna give them the Lie they want. Exactly. Thank you! Who **are** these straw-christians who won’t e happy unless people are in Hell? Have I seen them on this board? Any quotes? Guess not. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2004, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/119 "2004-11-01T20:12:00Z")
I dunno. The Chikites seem to exude a certain perverse pleasure in having the non Christian’s getting their comeuppance. I mean most of them, the most vocal, tend to go up in flames, get shot, or die painfully and then get taunted by the Big faceless guy in the chair TM before getting tossed into the lake. On a strictly personal level I have talked to a few folks who seem to talk more about how the non believers will get theirs rather than talking about the word itself. It reminded me of those type of people (mostly children and nutters) that sit in their homes fantasizing about how anyone who slighted them or rejected them will one day rue the day. Oh by the by Vanilla, don’t you find the idea that God would be actively decieving those who didn’t believe in him just to put the final nail in their “soul coffins” a wee bit disturbing . I mean if there is choice wouldn’t he wish for us to make the correct one rather than making sure that we don’t? ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2004, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672/120 "2004-11-02T02:54:18Z")
See above what FriarTed wrote. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-near-future-according-to-jack-chick/271672.md?page=7)