# The New and Improved Commercials We Hate! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 25, 2008, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684 "2008-03-25T15:07:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2008, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/21 "2008-03-25T21:33:37Z")
You know that horrific “Head-On, apply directly to the forehead!!!” one we all hate so very very much? Some local sleazy ambulance chaser doesn’t realize how bad the ad is and has mimicked it. The tagline is something like “Call Bob, one call is all!!” repeated over and over while the single female in the frame repeatedly lifts a telephone handset to her ear. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Maui\_Lion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@Maui\_Lion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maui_Lion)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2008, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/22 "2008-03-25T21:49:37Z")
This isn’t new, this isn’t improved, but holy tap-dancing shitmonkeys if I don’t rant about this eventually, I might snap. Jim Falk’s Motors of Maui: Get a new radio commercial. You have ruined the William Tell Overture for me, and you’ve also gotten to my little brother. I can’t play the remixed version of the William Tell Overture on “In the Groove” on my PS2 with him in the room, because when it gets to that certain part, he starts singing your commercial: Get a car, get a truck, get an SUV Get a car, get a truck, get an SUV. Get a car, get a truck, get an SUV, At Jim Falk’s Motors of Maui! I HATE YOU. I hate you I hate you I hate you. [Kefka from Final Fantasy VI Rant Time] I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate, HATE YOU! [/KfFFVIRT] Stop that commercial! You’ve had it for years! My boyfriend hated it two years ago when he visited Maui for the first time since we’ve become a couple, and he hated it late last year when he came back for another visit. He was **amazed** it was still being played, and so am I. I’ve heard other people online complaining about it! It might get stuck in my head and hence make it a ‘success’ for you, but in reality it makes me remember where **not** to buy a car, because fuck me sideways in San Francisco at a Judy Garland film festival if I’m going to contribute money to your business and keep that on the air longer than necessary. Please, I beg you, get a new commercial. It is not the shining gem you think it is, anymore. It never was. Okay, maybe at first I thought it was a bit clever, but not anymore. No. If I hear it one more time, I may drive my car to and _through_ Jim Falk’s Motors of Maui. Literally. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2008, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/23 "2008-03-25T21:58:49Z")
I’ve been waiting for this thread. [Here you go. Your winner.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFNLCyLBFu4) They have numerous versions of this one out now, this was the first one I saw. A) By the time he made it to Wrigley, Harry had become almost a parody of himself. A bumbling, drunken, worthless schmuck. And not funny. B) This idiot, hands down is the single worst Harry Caray impersonator I’ve ever had the misfortune to see. And they run them CONSTANTLY ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2008, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/24 "2008-03-25T22:19:57Z")
Stuffing Cheetos in your seatmate’s nose to make him stop snoring? I wanted to vomit after seeing that commercial, not eat! [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1X2qT7Ki29Y) ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2008, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/25 "2008-03-25T22:32:31Z")
[QUOTE=Cisco] [The most explicitly sleazy advertisement of any kind I have ever seen.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbqvL5ncNzo) [/QUOTE] Oh, dear Og, that’s offensive! In so many ways, I don’t know where to begin. What’s perhaps most offensive about it? It probably gets him clients who think that can really happen. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2008, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/26 "2008-03-25T22:43:25Z")
[QUOTE=mlees] Let’s say your 79 years old. You may not feel like living for another 20 years to get the full amount doled out in those teeny structured payments. Taking a smaller lump sum now may be better for you. [/QUOTE] If any of the people in the ad were anywhere close to 79, I could see it. I don’t object to the reverse mortgage ads, because they can be useful in certain circumstances. But if someone offers a 79 year old a long structured settlement, his or her lawyer should object. Maybe. My father and father in law are both 92. In any case I suspect there are plenty of places that will do it cheaper. The implication of the ad is that you get all your money, right away. They don’t shout “I want 80% of my money and I want it now.” ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2008, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/27 "2008-03-25T23:02:38Z")
Jim Sokolove lawyer commercials. It’s nothing but text on the screen, with an announcer reading it. That’s it, and they’re _everywhere_. Here’s a couple of examples: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/pOn50iWG2hc/hqdefault.jpg "Jim Sokolove - Birth Injury Lawyer") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOn50iWG2hc) [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/WefrV22durw/hqdefault.jpg "Jim Sokolove - Mesothelioma Lawyer") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WefrV22durw) ---
**Author:** ![LVgeogeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b19c9b/32.png) [@LVgeogeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVgeogeek)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2008, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/28 "2008-03-25T23:35:11Z")
[QUOTE=Cisco] [The most explicitly sleazy advertisement of any kind I have ever seen.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbqvL5ncNzo) [/QUOTE] He is one of those Las Vegas ambulance chaser lawyers… I fucking loath that commercial. It plays on TV here all damn day. I do have to say that is one of the worst commercials for ambulance chasers I have ever seen. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2008, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/29 "2008-03-25T23:54:16Z")
[QUOTE=Trunk] I’m a little bothered by the budweiser ads in which they state that their beer is clear, and other beers are dark because it allows other brewer’s to hide faults. My wife says, “I don’t even drink beer and that sounds incredibly stupid to me.” I’m convinced that Budweiser runs so many ads that they just sometimes throw retarded shit at the wall to see if it sticks. There is no idea that they will say, “no” too. [/QUOTE] I’d smack the ad people at Budweiser with a couple of bottles of Guinness and Negra Modelo, but that would be a waste of perfectly good, DRINKABLE beer. There’s a local car dealership here that has one commercial where they show off the “three generations” of the owning family that work there. Then they have the “fourth generation”, a little under-ten girl who didn’t do anything to deserve this, sing their theme song. Words cannot describe how horrible this is. I need about five minutes of Trunk Monkey ads to recover from it. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2008, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/30 "2008-03-25T23:59:56Z")
[QUOTE=LVgeogeek] He is one of those Las Vegas ambulance chaser lawyers… I fucking loath that commercial. It plays on TV here all damn day. I do have to say that is one of the worst commercials for ambulance chasers I have ever seen. [/QUOTE] He must have an office here in Phoenix too because it’s on everytime I walk by a tv. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/31 "2008-03-26T00:15:24Z")
I nominate all the TV ads run during ‘Cops’ on Fox. By watching the show on a regular basis I am apparently an uneducated sleaze who drives without auto insurance and gets all his meals at Speedway (coney dogs and giant fountain drinks, from the looks of it). Alright, so it’s true…I just hate being reminded of it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/32 "2008-03-26T01:12:03Z")
[QUOTE=AskNott] There’s not a faint glimmer of humor in Coke Zero trying to sue Coke. [/QUOTE] When I saw that ad, I kept waiting for somebody to say that Coke can’t sue itself and expose their whole argument as lame. However, I guess the makers of the commercial must think this is such an arcane bit of legal knowledge that only advanced scholars of intellectual property law would know it. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/33 "2008-03-26T01:18:09Z")
[QUOTE=SpazCat] There’s a local car dealership here that has one commercial where they show off the “three generations” of the owning family that work there. Then they have the “fourth generation”, a little under-ten girl who didn’t do anything to deserve this, sing their theme song. Words cannot describe how horrible this is. I need about five minutes of Trunk Monkey ads to recover from it. [/QUOTE] Consider yourself lucky then. Here we have The Twins, two little girls (just entered double digits actually) who come and talk in unison about Toyotas for their daddy’s dealership. ---
**Author:** ![T\_SQUARE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9de053/32.png) [@T\_SQUARE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/T_SQUARE)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/34 "2008-03-26T01:35:51Z")
[QUOTE=jayjay] The ad begins with three kids playing that game Rock Band. They’re doing their thing for about 8 seconds, then suddenly TWO ARMS COME RIPPING OUT OF THE ONE KID’S MOUTH FROM THE INSIDE and the withered husk of his body is stripped off, to reveal SLASH from Guns ‘n’ Roses! [/QUOTE] I actually really like that ad. I mean, who else besides Slash could look cool playing a tiny, plastic, pretend axe. ---
**Author:** ![LilGypsyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilGypsyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilGypsyGirl)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/35 "2008-03-26T01:44:18Z")
[QUOTE=John DiFool] Do you guys get the same kind of sanctimonious bleeding-heart type lawyers that I do here in Jax? They will come on and swear in sincerely phony terms and word inflections about just how much they want to help save you from whatever legal boogeyman you are having the deal with, so much so that I expect one of them sooner or later to exhibit spontaneous stigmata on camera: “See? We literally will _bleed_ for you!” [/QUOTE] ARGH!! :smack: I was recently laid off, so I haven’t really watched daytime TV since I got to Orlando about a year ago…I thought the ads in NY were bad, but between 1-800-ASK-DAVE, 1-800-ASK-GARY, Morgan & Morgan, Bogin, Munns & Munns, and THE “MD-JD” I was damn near ready to put my foot through the TV. So I turned it off. And went outside. 'Twas lovely today in sunny Orlando. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/36 "2008-03-26T01:57:59Z")
[QUOTE=Maui Lion] This isn’t new, this isn’t improved, but holy tap-dancing shitmonkeys if I don’t rant about this eventually, I might snap. Jim Falk’s Motors of Maui: Get a new radio commercial. You have ruined the William Tell Overture for me, and you’ve also gotten to my little brother. I can’t play the remixed version of the William Tell Overture on “In the Groove” on my PS2 with him in the room, because when it gets to that certain part, he starts singing your commercial: Get a car, get a truck, get an SUV Get a car, get a truck, get an SUV. Get a car, get a truck, get an SUV, At Jim Falk’s Motors of Maui! … [/QUOTE] Yup, we’ve got one of those as well. He’s Cal Worthington and his dog Spot!. This guy has been on the air (and now his son Calvin, or Calvert or something) for at least 30 years. Their song is still the same. I think their franchises exist in CA, OR and AK (but I could be missing some). Here are some links. > **[Trusted Ford Dealer in Long Beach CA | Ford of Long Beach](https://www.bpfordoflongbeach.com/)** > > Visit Ford of Long Beach for a variety of new and used cars by Ford in the Long Beach area. Call (562) 358-3422 today. > **[Jalopnik | Obsessed with the culture of cars](https://www.jalopnik.com/)** > > From cars to motorcycles, Jalopnik is your go-to site covering everything with an engine—including automotive news, buying guides, and expert commentary from our staff. When I was a teen, the filming of these commercials wasn’t the greatest, or maybe it was the lack of enunciation of the singers, but most locals thought it said “moosey Cow, moosey cow, Moosey Cow” until we saw the text on the screen. Apparently there are some folks who thought he was saying “Pussy cow”. It’s not bad when you see it the first couple of times, but growing up in Alaska, in the early 70s, with only 2 stations (eventually 4 or 5 plus the “pay TV” station 66 toward the end of the 70s), that commercial played all of the time! On every station, all both of them! ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/37 "2008-03-26T03:36:32Z")
I really hate the new Nationwide commercials where someone is extolling how great their insurance coverage is while their “friend” watches their brand-new car get destroyed. What, you can’t tell your friend that someone is dropping heavy furniture on their new car? I can do without friends like you. And every. single. commercial. for. Levitra. I change the channel (or station if listening to the radio) every time some guy comes on trying to tell me how it _never occurred to him_ that diabetes or blood pressure problems might cause his little winkie to droop. It’s as bad as those Summer’s Eve “fresh feeling” douche commercials they were running a few years back. Go away. Go far, far away. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/38 "2008-03-26T03:57:15Z")
_Vivaaaa Viiiiagra!_ It’s just so stereo-mantypical: hairy guys with hawaiian shirts, collectible-looking guitars and a dog getting together to sing a bland family-friendly ad-agency version of [_Isn’t It Awfully Nice to Have a Penis_](http://www.bebo.com/BlogView.jsp?MemberId=18810204&BlogId=530498270). Then there’s the CoffeeMate(?) ad with the faux jump swing track, yelling “Irish? CREAM! Coconut? CREAM! Chocolate? Vanilla? CREAM!” ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/39 "2008-03-26T04:04:11Z")
Ooo, I just saw another one–the Just For Men gel commercial with the two faux sports announcers who make it seem like the only way a guy can “score” is if he doesn’t have any grey hair. Talk about using sex to sell a product. ETA: **Beware of Doug** , I agree. I loathe those Viva Viagra commercials. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684/40 "2008-03-26T04:18:43Z")
[QUOTE=LilyoftheValley] Stuffing Cheetos in your seatmate’s nose to make him stop snoring? I wanted to vomit after seeing that commercial, not eat! ![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/1X2qT7Ki29Y/maxresdefault.jpg)https://www.youtube.com/embed/1X2qT7Ki29Y?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque [/QUOTE] Ooh, and the one where the imaginary orange cat tells the girl to put Cheetos in the dryer with the white clothes–how is this supposed to make me want to eat the fucking things? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-and-improved-commercials-we-hate/442684.md?page=3)