# The New Guy MMP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [February 25, 2013, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328 "2013-02-25T06:15:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/221 "2013-02-28T15:38:25Z")
> [@Red\_Wiggler](#): > > I like the way this place is moderated Especially by Twickster - without a doubt one of the loveliest and most even-handed of moderators ever to assume the title. Her talent and wisdom is up there with Kissinger and the Old Testament heroes and ------- Huh? What’s that? She reads this thread every now and then? In that case, never mind. Forget I said anything. 😃 > [@Seanette](#): > > LOL! I would LOVE to hang out with you. 😃 It’s something about hostesses; just brings out the worst in my. I’ve also pulled the old Carlin routine now and then ---- “Name?” Jaroslavowitz “How do you spell that?” S-M-I-T-H “Huh?” The S is silent and the rest of the letters don’t count. > [@Silver\_Tyger](#): > > **Kopek** , you should be ashamed of yourself. 😛 I am – often several times a day. I have always thought of that as my role in the universe. :smack: > [@anyrose](#): > > **flytrap** - you need some “de-confuse” juice! > **Soapy** and I live on Lawn Guylindt. **Mooom** and **Bobbio** live in MerryLand. Everyone else live elsewhere. Not necessarily. I’m in Pittsburgh and by no stretch of the imagination can that be considered living. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/222 "2013-02-28T16:37:33Z")
Blurfitude. We lost power last night about 9:30 for about an hour. It is DARK in my apartment with no lights. I stumbled carefully to my bed and got my alarm clock that has a light and kept pushing that on while I dug through my closet to find my camping lantern. Then got woken up later when the power came back, because I had forgotten to turn off a lamp. So there’s my excitement for the week. Actually that isn’t true. I’ve been looking for someone to “date”, aka “play” with, with the caveat of no sex. No response for weeks, now three acquaintences are like, ‘you wanna see how it goes?’ So, I’ll be playing with at least one of them this weekend. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/223 "2013-02-28T16:56:41Z")
**ShinyCat** “play dates” are a good thing. OYKW and I saw each other for several weeks before any friskiness took place. Don’t know how it works in straight world, but in gay world it’s far too often “lets hop in the sack and see how it goes from there” rather than “let’s get to know each other and see how it goes from there.” In other news, I’s hongry so N.O.L. shall commence. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/224 "2013-02-28T17:35:24Z")
Uncle Bobbio brings you another exciting installment of **Poison Pen Theater**. Last night, I found a letter in my mailbox from a company saying they’ve taken over my trash pickup account, my rates won’t change, and I’ll be getting quarterly bills starting 1 March. I don’t have a current trash service, because I go to The Dumpe every Saturday instead. I was burned by bad service soon after moving in, and told the old company to go to hell. I suspect the new guys bought out the old ones, and that’s how I got the letter. Here is my response to the new guys. Names changed to protect the guilty. > [@](#): > > Big City Trash Service > Customer Service Desk > Daburbs, MD > > Subject: Assumption of my account > > Enclosure: Your letter of 20 Feb 13 > > 28 February 2013 > Dear Madam or Sir: > > Thank you for your letter notifying me that you are assuming my trash account. The thing is, I don’t have one. > > When I first moved to the newest VunderLair, I contracted with Redneck Trash Haulers [sup]tm[/sup] for my service. I soon found out that to call their service substandard is an insult to all other things substandard. They were soon taken over by Bottom Feeders, Inc [sup]tm[/sup], who were not any better. > > In October 2011, I discontinued service completely, and since then, I’ve been a patron of the county landfill and convenience centers without incident or regret. I have been burned twice regarding my trash service. As far as a third time is concerned, it won’t happen. I have precisely 0 confidence you would or could do any better. > > Should you entertain any idea that you can collect disputed arrearage I have with Bottom Feeders, Inc. [sup]tm[/sup], dream on. I have a folder full of written correspondence, including unclaimed and unopened registered mail, documenting my issues with them and directing termination of service. > > I look forward to seeing none of your bills in my mailbox. > With a gruff snort of contempt, > > /s/ VunderBob ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/225 "2013-02-28T17:43:48Z")
\*\*Bobbio \*\*- may I hire you to write all my letters? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/226 "2013-02-28T17:52:37Z")
Good grief, \*\*BBBobbio \*\*- I wasn’t aware there were so many trash haulers in our little county! I know the folks we bought our house from didn’t use any of them - they just burned their trash in the yard. I found stuff like half-burned window shades, burnt cans, shattered and sooty light bulbs, and other assorted treasures in the depths of our yard. I also noticed one tree that was somewhat blackened on one side… :eek: After a call to a trash hauler where I learned how ridiculously expensive it was for one-day-a-week pickup and no recycling (something over $30/month) we opted to do the convenience center thing and have never regretted it. The two of us don’t generate much garbage - we haul 2-3 cans plus 2 or 3 bags of recycling every other week, maybe longer. Despite what some here may believe, we are \*not \*trashy! 😛 OK, quit distracting me - I have CAD files to convert! ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/227 "2013-02-28T18:31:58Z")
Happy Thursday all, I have mega blurfage Charity event last night went as expected PITA, good cause tho. Two years ago three kids lost their parents in a car crash, the two boys were paralyzed and the girl was badly hurt. The kids are doing well and have tons of support, including a Texans linebacker who hangs with the kids and does dances for them at games to let them know he is thinking about them. I really shouldn’t complain Hongry, so I shall eat **Jim** ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/228 "2013-02-28T18:32:44Z")
**BBBobbio** you should do an “Ask The Guy Who Writes Poison Pen Letters” thread. You could really do the Dope a service by givin’ examples and pointers. I do lurves me a good ol’ **BBBobbio** poison pen letter. The county contracts with a service to pick up trash once a week. Thus, I get billed by the county for garbage, water and teh stoopit streelight that I hate monthly. Once they did not pick up my garbage. The county and the trash service got copious phone calls. I got a _two week_ credit just to shut me up I reckon. I still think I should have pressed for a whole month. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/229 "2013-02-28T18:47:01Z")
Nice letter Bobbio. I usually just scrawl a few expletives across the letter and send it back in their own postage paid envelope. I happen to live in a civilized (ie heavily taxed) county in which trash pickup is part of the ‘free’ services offered by the county. We have gone from 2 days a week to 1 day a week as the county has been cutting back on services. I hope it never comes to where I have to run to the dump on a regular basis. During the week isn’t so bad but on the weekends the cars are lined up to the highway. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/230 "2013-02-28T19:45:28Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > **ShinyCat** “play dates” are a good thing. OYKW and I saw each other for several weeks before any friskiness took place. Don’t know how it works in straight world, but in gay world it’s far too often “lets hop in the sack and see how it goes from there” rather than “let’s get to know each other and see how it goes from there.” I guess I was too coy. 😛 All three of these guys have SOs (a couple of whom I may end up playing with as well. We’ll see). (Technically I do too, but we haven’t seen each other for more than 10 minutes in ages). This isn’t going to turn into dating - it’s purely ‘get out the whips and chains’. But for a lot of people, especially men, that HAS to lead to sex, which I’m not interested in. ---
**Author:** ![kaiwik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaiwik/32/3978_2.png) [@kaiwik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaiwik)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/231 "2013-02-28T20:17:18Z")
I’m dreadfully behind on reading, but I had to tell y’all (who remember) I’m back!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/232 "2013-02-28T20:50:41Z")
**Bobbio** , I bet your letters get pinned to a lot of office bulletin boards. I’d frame one if I ever got it. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/233 "2013-02-28T21:00:28Z")
> [@Silver\_Tyger](#): > > I guess I was too coy. 😛 All three of these guys have SOs (a couple of whom I may end up playing with as well. We’ll see). (Technically I do too, but we haven’t seen each other for more than 10 minutes in ages). This isn’t going to turn into dating - it’s purely ‘get out the whips and chains’. But for a lot of people, especially men, that HAS to lead to sex, which I’m not interested in. Awww now you’re just gonna get **Spidey** all worked up! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/234 "2013-02-28T21:24:59Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Awww now you’re just gonna get **Spidey** all worked up! 😃 Hey, if he’s nearby, he can come over! ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/235 "2013-02-28T21:25:45Z")
Another day closer to the weekend people. One more day! I have literally done nothing at work today and I am bored out of my mind so I am taking off in about 30 mins. My attitude is not the best at the moment and I have heard nothing about the job so screw it. Zumba last night was great. I finally feel like my fitness levels are coming back up. I am out of breath and working hard but it is not “_ohmygodIthinkIamgonnadiethissuckssobad_” it fun and I can push a bit harder on the higher impact stuff. And I have lost a dress size in inches. So I am happy there. Tonight supper is a salad of some description as that is what **mr ems** wanted. Friday is so close! ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/236 "2013-02-28T21:50:37Z")
_::waves enthusiastically at **wiki** ::_ ---
**Author:** ![Jynxster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d07c76/32.png) [@Jynxster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jynxster)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/237 "2013-02-28T21:56:54Z")
My brain hurts! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/238 "2013-02-28T22:06:20Z")
Hey, **kai**!! How’s things? Waiting for daughter to call that she’s on her way so I can get supper going. We’re having [mushroom-chicken piccata](http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Mushroom-Chicken-Piccata/Detail.aspx) over noodles with peas-n-carrots on the side. Never made it before, but it sounds good! With the uncertainty of the sequester, we’ve given up on our search for an RV, but we’re now talking about tent camping. I’ve never done that, but if I can find a proper sleeping surface, I think I’ll be good. Research goes on. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/239 "2013-02-28T22:11:39Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > we’re now talking about tent camping. Bears. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328/240 "2013-02-28T22:31:36Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > With the uncertainty of the sequester, we’ve given up on our search for an RV, but we’re now talking about tent camping. I’ve never done that, but if I can find a proper sleeping surface, I think I’ll be good. Research goes on. > [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Bears. The rangers don’t get mad if you sleep on the bears? 😕 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-guy-mmp/651328.md?page=13)