# The New Improved Re-release of Commercials I Hate! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 24, 2009, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788 "2009-11-24T16:40:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/21 "2009-11-25T01:49:04Z")
There’s the one where this presumptive coed sings (obviously lip-synched) about this online college or somesuch in a hopelessly outdated song style which would make Mariah Carey look cutting edge. I find her voice and melody to be eyeball-gougingly painful. ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/22 "2009-11-25T02:03:34Z")
> [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > Those Coors Light (I think it’s Coors Light) commercials where they splice in video footage of NFL coaches and pretend like they’re talking in realtime…so tired. Ohhhh. See, I like those ones. I’m still amused by silly stuff, though. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/23 "2009-11-25T02:28:45Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I actually like the GEICO commercials. Except the stupid staring money. Fuck that. The money with the eyeballs is emblematic of all the dough you could be saving with Geico if they didn’t have to jack up their rates to pay for the saturation TV ads. ---
**Author:** ![HISSNLISSN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed8c4c/32.png) [@HISSNLISSN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HISSNLISSN)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/24 "2009-11-25T02:55:30Z")
Second the ire felt by the OP. Great song ruined. Bad enough when they use the original, let alone a one note difference in the mimicry + lame vocals. ---
**Author:** ![ivn1188](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e480ec/32.png) [@ivn1188](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivn1188)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/25 "2009-11-25T03:43:10Z")
Weak. Sauce. Rant. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/26 "2009-11-25T04:04:03Z")
Gosh, I totally forgot about **ivn1188** ’s self-promotion to Pit Policeman. Oh, wait…I didn’t forget. I just don’t give a shit. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/27 "2009-11-25T04:05:41Z")
You know what will _never_ get old? [GoDaddy.com](http://GoDaddy.com) commercials. Ah, boobies. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee7513/32.png) [@Mona\_Lott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lott)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/28 "2009-11-25T04:12:25Z")
Be grateful that the other self-appointed Pit Policeman, **Carol Stream** , hasn’t yet appeared in this thread to berate you. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/29 "2009-11-25T04:19:07Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Gosh, I totally forgot about **ivn1188** ’s self-promotion to Pit Policeman. Oh, wait…I didn’t forget. I just don’t give a shit. You should feel honored that he made an appearance. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/30 "2009-11-25T05:12:21Z")
There’s some heartburn medicine one (and I don’t remember the name so that proves the commercial sucks,) and it starts off with some pasty-faced woman on a blind date with some guy who’s having a great time but she can’t because she has heartburn I guess. So she takes the medicine and bingo! They’re married!! And I’m like, “Huh? Since when does heartburn medicine make someone irresistable?” Oh, and she uses words wrong for cutesy effect. “He looks positively regnant!” Ecch. Now I have heartburn. And if I take medicine for it, I might accidently take this slop for it because I can’t remember the fucking name of the product. Great. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/31 "2009-11-25T05:23:41Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > There’s some heartburn medicine one (and I don’t remember the name so that proves the commercial sucks,) and it starts off with some pasty-faced woman on a blind date with some guy who’s having a great time but she can’t because she has heartburn I guess. > > So she takes the medicine and bingo! They’re married!! > > And I’m like, “Huh? Since when does heartburn medicine make someone irresistable?” > > Oh, and she uses words wrong for cutesy effect. “He looks positively regnant!” Ecch. Now I have heartburn. And if I take medicine for it, I might accidently take this slop for it because I can’t remember the fucking name of the product. Great. Every time I see that commercial I have to stop and wonder how anyone sees that guy as visually appealing at all, let alone visually appealing enough to have a fast-track on “Mr. Right”. I always imagine his non-stop pantomimed talking to be all about him…what he did today, his star quarterback days in high school, his $500,000/year job, his mansion in Malibu… ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/32 "2009-11-25T05:31:59Z")
I had been wondering why sometimes I got people talking through my computer. It usually wasn’t very clear, often whatever it came stilted, and never lasted very long so it couldn’t be an interference. “Autoplay” ads on webpages. Can we please take the people who make 'em out back and beat them to death with live skunks? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/33 "2009-11-25T07:05:25Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > “Autoplay” ads on webpages. Can we please take the people who make 'em out back and beat them to death with live skunks? OK, that’s creative. I like it, but you go first. I’ll be standing way over there…upwind. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/34 "2009-11-25T08:01:11Z")
That retarded one by Olay and walMart by the tune of " Do your ears hang low?" ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/35 "2009-11-25T08:22:56Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > The National Humane Society ad. Damn thing runs for-freaking-ever, has this tear jerking music over a montage of maimed or otherwise abused animals. Nobody wants to see that shit, especially not half a dozen times during a ball game, or several times duing a non-football program. It does not make me want to send them money. It makes me change the channel and harbor ill will towards them. If that is the HSUS ad, it is also a pack of lies. I have to mute the sound when that comes on, or end up yelling at the TV… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/36 "2009-11-25T08:59:40Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > So you are going to make us endure two hours of that post? 🙂 Go easy on him, the poor thing obviously suffers from some sort of post-traumatic stress disorder. It’s a wonder he’s even able to function after a trauma like that. > [@jayjay](#): > > Every time I see that commercial I have to stop and wonder how anyone sees that guy as visually appealing at all, let alone visually appealing enough to have a fast-track on “Mr. Right”. > > I always imagine his non-stop pantomimed talking to be all about him…what he did today, his star quarterback days in high school, his $500,000/year job, his mansion in Malibu… And he’s so in to her that he notices her obvious distress. Yeah, that’ll be a good marriage. > [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](#): > > That retarded one by Olay and walMart by the tune of " Do your ears hang low?" Another awful earworm, except when it keeps replaying in my head the words change to “Do your boobs hang low”. ---
**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/37 "2009-11-25T09:30:32Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > The National Humane Society ad. Damn thing runs for-freaking-ever, has this tear jerking music over a montage of maimed or otherwise abused animals. Nobody wants to see that shit, especially not half a dozen times during a ball game, or several times duing a non-football program. It does not make me want to send them money. It makes me change the channel and harbor ill will towards them. I don’t hate it, but I want to adopt all the poor little abused kitty cats. I can’t though, because I have too many already. But I want them. ---
**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/38 "2009-11-25T09:34:41Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > If that is the HSUS ad, it is also a pack of lies. I have to mute the sound when that comes on, or end up yelling at the TV… :eek: I’m sorry, but what is the lie exactly? Animals do get abused and shelters are full of them. Can you elaborate? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/39 "2009-11-25T09:53:25Z")
I’m taking you down, **Gillette**. The ad (shown in the UK): A man is seen at various points shaving with, or attempting to purchase razor blades for, his Gillette Mach 3 razor. At each stage he is assaulted by a golf/tennis/soccer ball (as appropriate) launched by Tiger Woods, Roger Federer or Thierry Henry. At the end, all three hit him at once and laugh. The intended message? > [@](#): > > Silly consumer - you are using an outdated product. Do not do that! Instead, purchase our new razor “system” and be like these cool, highly-paid athletes! The actual message? > [@](#): > > Hey sucker! Like the razor you’ve been using? Well, tough! We’re going to discontinue it and force you to buy a hideously overpriced new one, even though the old one worked just fine! Why? Because we can! Sure, we’re gouging you. What are you going to do - stop shaving? In fact, we’ve ripped you off so much we can afford to pay **three** of the most expensive sports figures in the entire freaking world to appear in our ads _and_ we’re making them beat up a proxy of you to show how little we think of our customers! Why? Because we can! Hahahahahahahaha! ---
**Author:** ![Sweetums](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Sweetums](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweetums)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/40 "2009-11-25T16:44:39Z")
I know I must be in the minority, but I can’t hit the mute button fast enough when any of the Howie Long car commercials come on. ``` He comes off as a condescending. self satisfied asshole, and really doesn't make me want to buy a car from him. Of course, from some of the commercials they used to run for hummers, "douchebags buy our cars" seems to be a selling point. So perhaps that's the demographic they are shooting for. ``` [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788.md?page=3)