# The New Improved Re-release of Commercials I Hate! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 24, 2009, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788 "2009-11-24T16:40:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/101 "2009-11-30T03:48:07Z")
Every time I think that I’m going to go out and buy a new TV/resubscribe to cable/get that TV tuner dongle for my computer, I read a thread like this. Then the urge goes away. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/102 "2009-11-30T15:06:15Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > Well no wonder it’s bad phone coverage, who’d wanna call Buttfuck, VT? Everyone there is either a dick or an asshole. :o It’s true. ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/103 "2009-11-30T17:28:07Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > I’m taking you down, **Gillette**. I was just discussing a Gillette ad with my wife last night. Basically, the jist was that Gillette Mach 3 is better than [some inferior razor that I forget the name of, but, nonetheless, is also made by Gillette]. Basically, my thought was “Ok, I understand why Coke would put out ads sayign their product is better than Pepsi, for example, so you buy Coke and don’t give your money to Pepsi, but why would Gillette say their product is better than another Gillette product? The money’s going to the same place!?” The only reasoning I could come up with was that the Mach 3 is more expensive (probably right here) and thus you’re giving Gillette _more_ of your money if you switch to a Mach 3. Makes me glad I’ve used an electric since I started shaving almost 25 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/104 "2009-11-30T19:12:25Z")
I hate the one with the 3 douches drinking Ketel One. It doesn’t work on so many levels, and if you’re trying to sell a “real man’s” drink, it should be scotch, whisky, or Dos Equis! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/105 "2009-11-30T19:21:55Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > Oh, just remembered another one. That damned “ah’m a pothole!” one. WELL IF YOU’RE A POTHOLE THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP BECAUSE POTHOLES DON’T TALK WITH ANNOYING VOICES LIKE YOURS. Or any voices, for that matter. Oh, that’s my _favorite_ commercial! It cracks me up because the pothole behaves just like my co-worker, right down to the cartoon Southern belle drawl. First she does something that screws you over, then pretends to be concerned, then says something utterly airheaded and blows you off. “Cuz I’m a Paht-howul…” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RndmTaco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f08c70/32.png) [@RndmTaco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RndmTaco)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/106 "2009-12-01T05:36:04Z")
If you live in or around New England, the Bob’s Discount Furniture commercials will probably be familiar. “Come on down!” ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/107 "2009-12-01T08:02:12Z")
> [@Locrian](#): > > One more! > > Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday every daaaaaaaay! > > NUVARING! The ugliest yellow bathing suits on women with skin the same shade as Casper and the Shmoo! Ladies, you dress like that at the pool, birth control is the LEAST of your worries! > > And who in the hell wears a bathing cap in 2009? 😃 There is an aspect of that commercial that I do like: the makeup. When they’re part of the “pill” routine, they’re wearing really heavy, stage-like, pinup girl makeup. When they leave the pool, their makeup shifts to a more natural look. It’s subtle, but kind of cool (even though I do like the pinup girl look). I actually dislike the other version of that commercial more…the one where the group of women are sitting around discussing it while the original commercial plays in the background. I hate hate hate hate hate it when commercials for any sort of medication try to somehow insert it into a casual conversation. Because casual conversations NEVER WORK THAT WAY. And I know they’re legally(?) obligated to mention risks and side effects and stuff, but it’s so AWKWARD and FAKE when they try to work it into their chat somehow. Just…stop trying, already. Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/108 "2009-12-01T11:49:52Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Oh, that’s my _favorite_ commercial! It cracks me up because the pothole behaves just like my co-worker, right down to the cartoon Southern belle drawl. First she does something that screws you over, then pretends to be concerned, then says something utterly airheaded and blows you off. “Cuz I’m a Paht-howul…” 😃 I like that commercial. It makes me chuckle. But then I also like the one with the pipe. _ **“Ha! I am strong like the ox! I crush you like tiny clown car, because you are clown, yes?”** _ ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/109 "2009-12-01T21:29:58Z")
The car commercial where the wife doesn’t kill her husband for making them drive who knows how far back to find the stupid sunglasses he had in his stupid hoodie the whole time. Also the credit card commercial where the husband doesn’t kill his wife for spending all their points on a dress instead of a vacation for both of them. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/110 "2009-12-01T21:39:11Z")
> [@sciurophobic](#): > > Also the credit card commercial where the husband doesn’t kill his wife for spending all their points on a dress instead of a vacation for both of them. _froths at the mouth_ Between that and the “Is that from Chad?”/“No, it’s from Chase!” Chase-will-text-you-with-account-updates commercial where the girls assume their mom is getting texts from their friend Chad, I think Chase really should fire their ad agency. I liked the one with the guy who realizes that his date has a hearty appetite and runs out to get money from a convenient ATM while her head is buried in the menu, but other than that I’m hard-pressed to think of a good one lately. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/111 "2009-12-01T22:11:24Z")
OOOH! The really really very vaguely creepy one where the woman without a mouth is swimming and her mouth is on the table talking and then she puts her mouth in and then it has strange gum in it. BLECH!! ---
**Author:** ![Bewildebeest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@Bewildebeest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bewildebeest)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/112 "2009-12-02T02:56:25Z")
He went to Jared’s. Let’s kill him. Let’s kill everyone involved. What’s a thirteen letter word for marriage proposal? Bendoverbitch ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/113 "2009-12-02T10:15:39Z")
Not to continue harping on Gillette but my curse on them seems to be working: in recent days both Thierry Henry and Tiger Woods have been the subject of minor scandals. Watch this space for news of Roger Federer caught on film fellating a goat or something like that. Derek Jeter is probably safe. Probably. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/114 "2009-12-02T11:56:53Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > “Cuz I’m a Paht-howul…” 😃 Every time I hear this ad I think “Britney Spears is doing voiceover work now?” Come on, you all know it sounds just like her and junk. ---
**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/115 "2009-12-02T12:00:58Z")
> [@Bewildebeest](#): > > He went to Jared’s. Let’s kill him. > > Let’s kill everyone involved. > > What’s a thirteen letter word for marriage proposal? > > Bendoverbitch Oh, yeah! I hate all of those commercials. Fuck Jareds. And Kay too. I also hate the phone commercial where the two men hold each others heads and talk. (one guy is upside down…I can’t remember the company). I don’t know why but that commercial makes me want kick both of them in the nuts. ---
**Author:** ![BaconAndEggs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f4b2a3/32.png) [@BaconAndEggs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaconAndEggs)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/116 "2009-12-02T12:09:18Z")
The “Bear Sheriff” commercial where the crazy woman is arguing with a cake. The whole thing looks like they picked actors out of an actors workshop…and the woman arguing with the cake has a New Jersey/New York accent and also sounds like a mouse who smokes cigarettes. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/117 "2009-12-02T15:53:08Z")
> [@BaconAndEggs](#): > > The “Bear Sheriff” commercial where the crazy woman is arguing with a cake. The whole thing looks like they picked actors out of an actors workshop…and the woman arguing with the cake has a New Jersey/New York accent and also sounds like a mouse who smokes cigarettes. Thanks a lot. I had just taken a gulp of coffee and had to try to keep from spewing it all over or trying to swallow it without choking as I was laughing too much over the cigarette smoking mouse. I actually kind of like that commercial, “you don’t have to be mean to the cake”, “yes, I do”. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/118 "2009-12-02T16:52:31Z")
Moving thread MPSIMS --\> Cafe Society. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/119 "2009-12-02T16:56:20Z")
Well, now that this is here, you could merge it with the other thread from the past month. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/120 "2009-12-02T17:41:06Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Moving thread MPSIMS –\> Cafe Society. Wheeeeeee! Only seven more forums to go! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788.md?page=7)