# The New Improved Re-release of Commercials I Hate! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 24, 2009, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788 "2009-11-24T16:40:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/121 "2009-12-03T07:34:34Z")
> [@Jolly\_Roger](#): > > Oh, yeah! I hate all of those commercials. Fuck Jareds. And Kay too. Gaaaaaah, I hate Kay commercials. So cheesy, and not in a fun way, either. I especially hate the one where the woman’s sitting up with the baby, and her husband comes in and asks how the baby’s doing. Wife replies that she just fell asleep, and then the husband proceeds to _turn on the lights_ and hand her a package. What I want her to say is “did you NOT just hear me say that the baby JUST FELL ASLEEP? Stop talking! And turn those lights off! I just spent four hours trying to get her to stop crying so that I could go back to BED, for fuck’s sake.” I don’t think I’d mind it so much if he’d have just handed her the package in the dark. It’s the fact that he turns on the lights that bugs me. Light tends to wake things UP. ---
**Author:** ![Speak\_to\_me\_Maddie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Speak\_to\_me\_Maddie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speak_to_me_Maddie)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/122 "2009-12-03T14:52:13Z")
The Kay commercial I really hate is this: a couple stands at a picture window in a remote cabin watching it rain outside. Suddenly lightning strikes and thunder claps. The grown woman spins around in terror, trying to flee from the horror of thunder, perhaps to go hide under the covers. The smarmy, condescending husband folds her in his arms, chuckling, and says, “don’t worry, I’m right here.” Or some such pap. Seriously, a fully grown woman acting like a six, no, a three year old at the sound of thunder. And the husband likes it; he clearly enjoys the way his wife behaves like a toddler. If it were father and daughter it would be cute, though trite. But with husband and wife it’s just creepy. I know men complain about they are portrayed on TV, especially in commercials, but women get it just as much. Whoever made this commercial clearly thinks it is cute for a grown woman to act like a toddler. Seriously, does any man want that? Fully mature women for me thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Theodore\_Striker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Theodore\_Striker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Theodore_Striker)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/123 "2009-12-03T16:31:14Z")
Any Jared commercial- I refuse to go there because of their ads, but the “crossword” one is the new annoyance. Nuvaring and Southern Belle pothole have been on the mute list in our house since they came out, right along with the new GAP cheering ad, and the Best Buy carolers. Most of the ads where the man/dad and kids are bumbling doofus’s who apparently can’t wipe their own asses, but mom is smart and has it all covered annoy the hell out of me. These go hand in hand with the “little johnny just spilled the cranberry juice all over the kitchen after he dragged dogshit across the carpet, but that’s okay because I am the fun mom who will just splash in it like a rain puddle and laugh!” Interesting enough, I never paid much attention to those last 2 types until my wife took a class called Media and Moral Values… it was rather enlightening. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/124 "2009-12-03T17:14:49Z")
> [@Maiira](#): > > It’s the fact that he turns on the lights that bugs me. Light tends to wake things UP. I just noticed that one too and it irked me even though I have no kids. Grrr. And no, I don’t think your tiny baby will remember this Christmas. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/125 "2009-12-03T17:28:53Z")
My current most-hated commercial goes something like this: 1-877-Kars4Kids, 1-877-Kars4Kids, 1-877-Kars4Kids, Donate your car today! ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/126 "2009-12-03T17:30:36Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > My current most-hated commercial goes something like this: > > 1-877-Kars4Kids, > 1-877-Kars4Kids, > 1-877-Kars4Kids, > Donate your car today! Don’t you mean “Donate your Kar today!”? ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/127 "2009-12-03T17:33:06Z")
😃 Yeah, I guess it’s really more like, “Donate your Kar _tah_-day!” ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/128 "2009-12-03T18:28:26Z")
> [@BaconAndEggs](#): > > The “Bear Sheriff” commercial where the crazy woman is arguing with a cake. The whole thing looks like they picked actors out of an actors workshop…and the woman arguing with the cake has a New Jersey/New York accent and also sounds like a mouse who smokes cigarettes. That’s [Melanie Deanne Moore, aka Melanie Paxson](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0601609/) formerly known as the Glad Wrap girl and as seen in various ads. You’ve got to admit that’s she’s right, [there’s no such thing as a bear sheriff](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQe1-WpxkG0). ---
**Author:** ![FalconFinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/51bf81/32.png) [@FalconFinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FalconFinder)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/129 "2009-12-03T19:23:17Z")
These are from a long time ago, but as I recently stumbled across them and was reminded of my absolute hatred for them, I’ll share them with you (all Chicagoland residents will remember these): 1. [Example](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkxIEuHYsBE)of one of the most ANNOYING commericals of all time 2. I think every household in the area cheered when [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftCVZPeE6U8)one was played ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/130 "2009-12-03T19:56:59Z")
> [@Maiira](#): > > Gaaaaaah, I hate Kay commercials. So cheesy, and not in a fun way, either. I especially hate the one where the woman’s sitting up with the baby, and her husband comes in and asks how the baby’s doing. Wife replies that she just fell asleep, and then the husband proceeds to _turn on the lights_ and hand her a package. That one makes me yell at the TV because he says something like “now that we are a family”. Only babies make it a family? Grrr. ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/131 "2009-12-05T23:18:26Z")
Direct TV has one out now about a promo wherein subscribers can earn $100 credit or something like that for referring their friends. Guy answers the door and his friend is there and his head turns into a currency-style Ben Franklin head. Pretty dumb to begin with (“when I see my friends all I think of is money!”) but then it gets ultra-creepy when three women come to the door and all three of them also become Ben Heads. Closing shot of guy toasting all of his Ben Head friends including several Bens with boobs and long legs. What. The. Fuck. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2009, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/132 "2009-12-06T21:26:21Z")
> [@sciurophobic](#): > > The car commercial where the wife doesn’t kill her husband for making them drive who knows how far back to find the stupid sunglasses he had in his stupid hoodie the whole time. Also the credit card commercial where the husband doesn’t kill his wife for spending all their points on a dress instead of a vacation for both of them. We have no evidence that the wife does not kill the husband who can’t keep track of his sunglasses. Clearly she only put up with the entire quest so that she could get him back to a remote area where the body would be more easily disposed off, for which the bat-ridden cave was idea. The wife in the credit card commercial is hot enough to be forgiven her prodigality. And the dress WAS for them both, as it was meant to inspire him into ripping it off her and making the two-backed beast. ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/133 "2009-12-07T00:24:36Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#): > > That’s [Melanie Deanne Moore, aka Melanie Paxson](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0601609/) formerly known as the Glad Wrap girl and as seen in various ads. I totally have a thing for her and that voice. 1-877-Kars4Kids has made me a want to send them all to a orphanage based on the 1870s British model. But worse. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/134 "2009-12-07T22:47:18Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > The wife in the credit card commercial is hot enough to be forgiven her prodigality. I knew there was a reason I loved you. Take THAT, all you people who use “prodigal son” incorrectly!!! ::gets out trout ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/135 "2009-12-07T23:16:42Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > I knew there was a reason I loved you. Take THAT, all you people who use “prodigal son” incorrectly!!! ::gets out trout Now, now, dear. _Prodigal son_ is an idiom, so it’s permissible that it has a meaning which cannot be drawn from the literal meanings of its components. But I agree that the use of _prodigal_ to mean _absent for an extended period of time_ is … oh, let’s say ill-considered. ---
**Author:** ![BaconAndEggs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f4b2a3/32.png) [@BaconAndEggs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaconAndEggs)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/136 "2009-12-09T14:45:58Z")
There’s a jewelry commercial that they show every year. The sound on the commercial is really amplified. Like ear piercing amplified. It hurts my ears when it comes on and is really annoying. It’s Benbridge. “Your personal jeweler…Benbridge!” There is also a commercial for Dick’s sporting goods. The actors in the commercial seem to eager and fake to actually be working there. It’s funny too because they are called Dick’s and the logo has balls (basketball, soccer ball, baseball) as the apostrophe. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus\_alba](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quercus_alba/32/4061_2.png) [@Quercus\_alba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus_alba)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2010, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/137 "2010-01-17T20:29:50Z")
I have to resurrect this just to say how STUPID it is that ANY man would be portrayed as loving their mass produced American swill beer more than the absolutely hot women who have inexplicably condescended to go out with them. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2010, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788/138 "2010-01-17T21:49:58Z")
I don’t hate the “too light, too heavy” beer commercials, but the paintball one is puzzling. We see the big blue balloon falling where the poor schlub is standing, but the baloon breaks on the ground and the schlub is nowhere around. Then we see him covered in blue paint. Wasn’t the balloon supposed to land on him? They couldn’t CGI that? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-improved-re-release-of-commercials-i-hate/518788.md?page=6)