# The new Superman movie......There is no God **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 24, 2004, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784 "2004-02-24T00:04:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MrSarcasticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@MrSarcasticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrSarcasticus)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/1 "2004-02-24T00:04:07Z")
Anyone see this shit?: > **[Superman Returns (2006) - IMDb](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0348150/reference)** > > Superman Returns (2006) Reference View McG is slated to directed??? Fucking McG? Fucking talentless, egomaniacal, cut every three nanoseconds, makes Michael Bay look like Robert Bresson, director of the most brain-rotting tripe of the decade McG? Seriously, what the FUCK? ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/2 "2004-02-24T00:11:41Z")
[QUOTE=MrSarcasticus] . . . director of the most brain-rotting tripe of the decade McG? . . .QUOTE] Dude, you need to see some more movies. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/3 "2004-02-24T00:23:40Z")
[From the IMDB trivia page:](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0348150/trivia) > [@](#): > > After Brett Ratner’s departure, McG considered directing, but eventually dropped out as well. There is a God. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/4 "2004-02-24T00:41:24Z")
Oooh! A new Superman movie? Will there be Polar Bears guarding the Fortress of Solitude? And a giant spider in the third act? ---
**Author:** ![Spudo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Spudo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spudo)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/5 "2004-02-24T00:58:47Z")
I hope we get to see Braniac wrassle something. ---
**Author:** ![Wumpus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8c91f0/32.png) [@Wumpus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wumpus)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/6 "2004-02-24T01:09:47Z")
It gets better. A couple of weeks ago, word was going around that Beyonce was going to be cast as Lois Lane. 🙂 But don’t worry. This movie has been in pre-production for _over a decade._ There’s very little chance it will ever make it to the screen. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/7 "2004-02-24T01:34:23Z")
At least Nicolas Cage is no longer gonna play big blue. I don’t want to a see a Superman that says “Dude! No Way!”. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/8 "2004-02-24T01:50:13Z")
It’s worse than that, Revtim. A while back, there was a proposal - an entire plot outline! - for a Superman movie that starred Keanu Reeves. It involved flying kung-fu, Lex Luthor was also Kryptonian (and also flew, and had super powers!), Superman drowns and dies, then comes back to life when Jor-El convinces him, in the afterlife, to not be dead anymore. It, like every other pathetic attempt to reincarnate the cash-cow, was quickly scrapped. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/9 "2004-02-24T01:50:50Z")
Who is Robert Bresson? ---
**Author:** ![Cabbage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@Cabbage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabbage)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/10 "2004-02-24T01:52:13Z")
> [@](#): > > At least Nicolas Cage is no longer gonna play big blue. I don’t want to a see a Superman that says “Dude! No Way!”. Ashton Kutcher is another name I’ve heard tossed out to play Superman (I believe he’s declined the part). “Dude, Where’s my cape?” ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/11 "2004-02-24T02:03:04Z")
You think you know pain? Try following it on AICN and Dark Horizons. We are getting a first hand view of the trainwreck of the century. Lex Luthor’s and alien, and Beyonce is Lois Lane! That’s what the studio wants! :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/12 "2004-02-24T02:08:21Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > Who is Robert Bresson? What’s this ‘Superman’ thing I keep hearing about? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/13 "2004-02-24T02:40:03Z")
> [@SPOOFE](#): > > It’s worse than that, Revtim. A while back, there was a proposal - an entire plot outline! - for a Superman movie that starred Keanu Reeves. It involved flying kung-fu, Lex Luthor was also Kryptonian (and also flew, and had super powers!), Superman drowns and dies, then comes back to life when Jor-El convinces him, in the afterlife, to not be dead anymore. > > It, like every other pathetic attempt to reincarnate the cash-cow, was quickly scrapped. Sweet Jesus… You must be joking. I hope I’m being wooshed here, that anyone would even consider this… I’m not even a fanboy and my blood curdles reading this… ---
**Author:** ![Husker\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Husker\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Husker_Dude)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/14 "2004-02-24T02:59:05Z")
> [@SPOOFE](#): > > It’s worse than that, Revtim. A while back, there was a proposal - an entire plot outline! - for a Superman movie that starred Keanu Reeves. It involved flying kung-fu, Lex Luthor was also Kryptonian (and also flew, and had super powers!), Superman drowns and dies, then comes back to life when Jor-El convinces him, in the afterlife, to not be dead anymore. > > It, like every other pathetic attempt to reincarnate the cash-cow, was quickly scrapped. You forgot the best part – polar bear guards at the Fortress of Solitude and the Giant Spider. ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/15 "2004-02-24T03:11:26Z")
I can’t say how happy I am that McG is out (or at least it seems that way from what I’ve read). A friend of mine suggested M. Night Shyamalan which I think would be interesting. Another thought of mine is Darren Aronofsky. Really I’d be happy with anybody as long as it isn’t McG. I heard the Beyonce rumour too, all I can say is good god no! They need to hire me for the casting. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/16 "2004-02-24T03:12:00Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > At least Nicolas Cage is no longer gonna play big blue. I don’t want to a see a Superman that says “Dude! No Way!”. I was all set to come in here and talk about Keanu Reeves, but then **SPOOFE** beat me to it. ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/17 "2004-02-24T03:13:06Z")
The first line should read, “I can’t **express** how happy I am that McG is out…” ---
**Author:** ![Eternal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@Eternal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eternal)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/18 "2004-02-24T03:26:22Z")
I think Beyonce would be an allright Lois Lane, she’s hot and it’s not like it’s a demanding part. The only thing she needs to be able to emote is naivete and getting her stupid ass in trouble. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/19 "2004-02-24T03:29:41Z")
> [@drm](#): > > I can’t say how happy I am that McG is out (or at least it seems that way from what I’ve read). A friend of mine suggested M. Night Shyamalan which I think would be interesting. Another thought of mine is Darren Aronofsky. Really I’d be happy with anybody as long as it isn’t McG. I heard the Beyonce rumour too, all I can say is good god no! They need to hire me for the casting. M. Night Shyamalan’s _Superman_: A young newspaper reporter has strange nightmares and hallucinations leading to freakish encounters with an ambiguosly gay muscly guy who saves people while wearing lots of Lycra. This is so deeply unsettling, he vows to kill this ‘Superman.’ At the end, in a horrible twist, he finds that _he_ is Superman and has been doing all of these things himself and then blanking out. Darren Aronofsky’s _Superman_: Superman, depressed by his life on earth, enters a downward spiral of drug and alcohol abuse while being chased by Lex Luthor, who is trying to extract the secrets of the planet Krypton from his head. The movie ends with Superman’s arm being chopped off and used as a double ended dildo which he and Luthor take up the ass to feed their smack addictions. ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784/20 "2004-02-24T04:07:44Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by Isla\_Lund_ > \*\*M. Night Shyamalan’s Superman: A young newspaper reporter has strange nightmares and hallucinations leading to freakish encounters with an ambiguosly gay muscly guy who saves people while wearing lots of Lycra. This is so deeply unsettling, he vows to kill this ‘Superman.’ At the end, in a horrible twist, he finds that he is Superman and has been doing all of these things himself and then blanking out. > > Darren Aronofsky’s Superman: Superman, depressed by his life on earth, enters a downward spiral of drug and alcohol abuse while being chased by Lex Luthor, who is trying to extract the secrets of the planet Krypton from his head. The movie ends with Superman’s arm being chopped off and used as a double ended dildo which he and Luthor take up the ass to feed their smack addictions.\*\* Not quite what I had in mind, but I’d DEFINATELY watch those movies. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-superman-movie-there-is-no-god/230784.md?page=2)