# The Newtown shooting was really really bad... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 8, 2013, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825 "2013-12-08T16:02:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/241 "2013-12-14T02:47:23Z")
You missed a comma. You know, if you’re going to piss on people’s grammar, you really ought to learn to write correctly yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/242 "2013-12-14T02:48:28Z")
> [@Kable](#): > > OK, then what’s your favorite? _Derp_. It’s the autobiography of your helix and how it gave up on the dating scene and chose to remain single. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/243 "2013-12-14T02:50:18Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > You missed a comma. > > You know, if you’re going to piss on people’s grammar, you really ought to learn to write correctly yourself. Like this? Eat me, dickhead. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/244 "2013-12-14T02:52:24Z")
Now, now. Don’t cry. Your guns still love you. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/245 "2013-12-14T02:53:16Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > _Derp_. It’s the autobiography of your helix and how it gave up on the dating scene and chose to remain single. Ohhh, that almost hurts, but I’m in a LTR with a sexy nurse. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/246 "2013-12-14T02:54:17Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Now, now. Don’t cry. Your guns still love you. And I love them. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/247 "2013-12-14T02:55:55Z")
How convenient, since your tiny little dick probably fits perfectly up their barrels. Win-win, for you, huh? Junior, you ain’t gonna out-snark me. Give it up before I give you another wedgie. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/248 "2013-12-14T02:58:28Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > How convenient, since your tiny little dick probably fits perfectly up their barrels. > > Win-win, for you, huh? > > Junior, you ain’t gonna out-snark me. Give it up before I give you another wedgie. Keep pretending. I’ll let you out snark me. I try to stay a little more civilized. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/249 "2013-12-14T02:59:02Z")
You’ll let me? Gee thanks. As if it weren’t easy enough. By the way, I enjoyed the ever so civilized “Eat me, dickhead.” You’ve got a future at the State Department if the position of Freedom Enthusiast falls through. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/250 "2013-12-14T03:00:03Z")
> [@Kable](#): > > Ohhh, that almost hurts, but I’m in a LTR with a sexy nurse. Don’t tell her (?) you don’t know what a helix is. Seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/251 "2013-12-14T03:01:32Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > You’ll let me? Gee thanks. As if it weren’t easy enough. Another good one, almost makes me want to sell my guns and become a dork like you. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/252 "2013-12-14T03:03:35Z")
But then what will you masturbate with? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/253 "2013-12-14T03:04:56Z")
His sexy nurse. You don’t know her, she’s from Canada. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/254 "2013-12-14T03:12:33Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Now, now. Don’t cry. Your guns still love you. Actually, they just say that to get him into bed. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/255 "2013-12-14T03:13:29Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > His sexy nurse. You don’t know her, she’s from Canada. Canada? Sorry too pasty. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/256 "2013-12-14T03:13:38Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > By the way, I enjoyed the ever so civilized “Eat me, dickhead.” You’ve got a future at the State Department if the position of Freedom Enthusiast falls through. He’d make a better diplomat than John Bolton, at any rate. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/257 "2013-12-14T05:41:07Z")
> [@Kable](#): > > Canada? Sorry too pasty. Canadian women are too lots of stuff for you. Smart, sane… and after smart and sane, the rest doesn’t matter as much. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/258 "2013-12-14T08:41:57Z")
> [@Kable](#): > > No shit Sherlock, but I don’t even know how many guns I have in the US. Probably near 100, including a lot of class 3 weapons. You really think I’m going to improve my collection if I move to Somalia? What am I going to do, move there and buy an AK47. I have 2 already and they’re kind of pieces of shit. I get it. The AK47s are pieces of shit, but they’re guns, dammit, so you still had to have them. You can get help for psychological crutches, you know. You don’t have to be a slave to your addiction. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/259 "2013-12-14T11:50:35Z")
Got so many guns he can’t even keep track? That’s the gun equivalent of the monkeysphere - the gunkeysphere, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825/260 "2013-12-14T14:21:43Z")
> [@Esox\_Lucius](#): > > I get it. The AK47s are pieces of shit, but they’re guns, dammit, so you still had to have them. You can get help for psychological crutches, you know. You don’t have to be a slave to your addiction. It just a collection Esox. Is there something wrong with that? Best thing about them AK47s is they are worth a lot more now then what I paid for them, thanks to gun grabbers making them SOOO popular! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-newtown-shooting-was-really-really-bad/675825.md?page=14)