# "The Next Big Things" that weren't

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [August 2, 2010, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890 "2010-08-02T14:09:56Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![installLSC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/54ee81/32.png) [@installLSC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/installLSC)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/41 "2010-08-03T07:55:47Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> The NME always used to be terrible for promising untold fame and fortune for tiny indie bands who never actually got anywhere.

My favorite example of this was the “Romo movement”. I remember reading that in 1996 put a bunch of quasi-New Wave bands on their cover and launched a package tour of these bands under its name. The tour only drew 100 people–not at a single gig, but for the entire tour!

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**Author:** ![In\_Winnipeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a8b319/32.png) [@In\_Winnipeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Winnipeg)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/42 "2010-08-03T08:01:53Z")

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Back around 1996, I remember hearing about this computer program called “Chicago” that was supposed to do all kinds of things, but never went anywhere.

As well, there was “Vista”, which people tended to stay away from.  
Also, I know you have a morotorium on athletes, but I can’t help but mention Eric Lindros, who was supposed to be so good that the NHL allowed him to decide where he wanted to play (didn’t want to play for the team that drafted him – the Quebec Nordiques). He turned out to be a major disappointment. Being big and able to run into everyone to knock them down wasn’t enough, especially when it resulted in multiple concussions, and an early career ending.  
.

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**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/43 "2010-08-03T08:43:52Z")

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I was the beat reporter for the engineering department’s newsletter (don’t ask) and they were all hyped up over Bluetooth.

In the 90’s, Netscape, Napster, Java, and more were supposed to be the next “killer app.” Napster lost to the recording industry, Microsoft backstabbed Netscape, and Java never (until this day, imho) was as fast or reliable as it should have been.

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**Author:** ![Rrose\_Selavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bcef8e/32.png) [@Rrose\_Selavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rrose_Selavy)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/44 "2010-08-03T11:27:01Z")

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> [@Promethea](#):
>
> The NME always used to be terrible for promising untold fame and fortune for tiny indie bands who never actually got anywhere. Sad, really. Personal favourite of this: Hipsway. Band from the mid '80s who made the cover of the paper on the basis of one top 20 hit. “HIPSWAY: BORN TO BE KINGS!”, the cover proudly and confidently declared.

I think in my time reading the NME in the late 70s early 80s , they weren’t looking for the next Beatles all the time , so much as the next Sex Pistols or Joy Divison. Since they expected them to possibly come from an obscure source or indie label , but really hadn’t clue how to predict, so EVERY new band came into the radar and many got big write ups or cover stories just in case so later they could say they spotted them first.

As Cyril Connolly wrote in the 1930s:  
“Whom the Gods would destroy,  
they first call promising”😃

-

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**Author:** ![Promethea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Promethea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Promethea)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/45 "2010-08-03T11:51:59Z")

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> [@Rrose\_Selavy](#):
>
> I think in my time reading the NME in the late 70s early 80s , they weren’t looking for the next Beatles all the time , so much as the next Sex Pistols or Joy Divison. Since they expected them to possibly come from an obscure source or indie label , but really hadn’t clue how to predict, so EVERY new band came into the radar and many got big write ups or cover stories just in case so later they could say they spotted them first.
> 
> As Cyril Connolly wrote in the 1930s:  
> “Whom the Gods would destroy,  
> they first call promising”😃
> 
> -

Yeah ,you’re right about the NME. I did used to feel sorry for the tiny bands who believed the hype about themselves, though. And ha, that quote is great! And so true of Gretchen Mol. I see I was by no means alone in immediately thinking of that poor woman when I saw the OP and how much of a millstone that cover has turned out to be for her.

Couple of others from TV that I thought of who were supposed to leave their shows and achieve Hollywood superstardom: Joe Piscopo from SNL and David _removes glasses_ Caruso. I know the latter’s back in TV now but when he left NYPD Blue he was going to conquer the world. Starring in _Jade_ with Linda Fiorentino seemed to put paid to all that - could the film have been THAT bad?

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**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/46 "2010-08-03T12:26:43Z")

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The joint autobiography by Leiber & Stoller described their certainty that they had found the greatest new group of all time: Stealer’s Wheel. Remember _Back in the Middle with You_?

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**Author:** ![Rrose\_Selavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bcef8e/32.png) [@Rrose\_Selavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rrose_Selavy)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/47 "2010-08-03T12:27:43Z")

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In the world of art, there was the case of Augustus John, who rose like a collossus, at least in British Art, in the first half of his career once akin to Hockney, Damien Hirst , even Picasso in terms of recognition and comparison , making the cover of Time Magazine in 1928 .  
Most accounts now acknowledge the later decline of his powers , even since eclipsed by his sister, Gwen. Society’s once great Portraitist now hardly a footnote in the Art History surveys.

> **[Augustus John](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Augustus_John)**
>
> Augustus Edwin John OM RA (4 January 1878 – 31 October 1961) was a Welsh painter, draughtsman, and etcher. For a time he was considered the most important artist at work in Britain: Virginia Woolf remarked that by 1908 the era of John Singer Sargent and Charles Wellington Furse "was over. The age of Augustus John was dawning." He was the younger brother of the painter Gwen John.
> Born in Tenby, at 11, 12 or 13 The Esplanade, now known as The Belgrave Hotel, Pembrokeshire, John was the younger ...

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**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/48 "2010-08-03T12:44:56Z")

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> [@Promethea](#):
>
> The NME always used to be terrible for promising untold fame and fortune for tiny indie bands who never actually got anywhere. Sad, really. Personal favourite of this: Hipsway. Band from the mid '80s who made the cover of the paper on the basis of one top 20 hit. “HIPSWAY: BORN TO BE KINGS!”, the cover proudly and confidently declared.
> 
> As Stuart Maconie was later to wrly comment during the NME 40th anniversary issue, “HIPSWAY: BORN TO HAVE 2 TOP 60 SMASHES AND THEN DIE LIKE DOGS” would, in hindsight, have made a more accurate headline.

I have some kind of Rock & Roll yearbook from 1980 which I think came out of the NME stable, and it has a prediction section which, as you say, is mostly off-base. However one entry that I remember says something like “our copy editor swears these guys are going to be huge”. The band was U2. Good call.

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**Author:** ![wolf-alice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9e8a1a/32.png) [@wolf-alice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf-alice)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/49 "2010-08-03T13:12:48Z")

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Do you remember [Jimmy Ray](http://www.last.fm/music/Jimmy+Ray)? He was going to be mu-_hassive_.

[QUOTE=ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness]  
Electronica.  
[/QUOTE]

See also: Electroclash. In 2003 we were promised the future of music. What did we get? _Emerge_.

I also have fond memories of my overhyped NME-reading years (1994 - 1999), **Promethea**. Do you remember when they invented Skunk Rock, on the basis of absolutely nothing? They had an elaborate photoshoot and everything. It involved fire. I wish I were a journalist.

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**Author:** ![Rrose\_Selavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bcef8e/32.png) [@Rrose\_Selavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rrose_Selavy)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/50 "2010-08-03T16:17:48Z")

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> [@Ximenean](#):
>
> However one entry that I remember says something like “our copy editor swears these guys are going to be huge”. The band was U2. Good call.

Yeah but see how they were still hedging their bets? If U2 sunk without trace , they could have put the poor prediction not to a named journalist who put their money where their mouth was, but down to that un-named someone in the office.

-

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**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/51 "2010-08-03T17:23:15Z")

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> [@Rrose\_Selavy](#):
>
> > [@Ximenean](#):
> >
> > However one entry that I remember says something like “our copy editor swears these guys are going to be huge”. The band was U2. Good call.
> 
> Yeah but see how they were still hedging their bets? If U2 sunk without trace , they could have put the poor prediction not to a named journalist who put their money where their mouth was, but down to that un-named someone in the office.
> 
> -

Also, if a publication like NME proclaims dozens of fledgling bands as the “next big thing,” the law of averages dictates that eventually they’ll get at least one right.

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**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/52 "2010-08-03T18:20:29Z")

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Ok, we’re all having a good chuckle at the expense of those short-sighted critics who thought [insert not-yet-worthy band/actress name] was going to be the next [insert worthy band/actress name].

But what about you? No, not you the actor, not your little garage/basement/covers band

No, _the music/person/invention **you** thought was “The Next Big Thing”_.

Bonus points if you trumpeted this to your friends…

I could mention mine, but… maybe later. It’s embarrassing…

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**Author:** ![davidw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c4cdca/32.png) [@davidw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidw)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/53 "2010-08-03T18:22:05Z")

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> [@Superhal](#):
>
> In the 90’s, Netscape, Napster, Java, and more were supposed to be the next “killer app.” Napster lost to the recording industry, Microsoft backstabbed Netscape, and Java never (until this day, imho) was as fast or reliable as it should have been.

Oh jeez, remember Pointcast?

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**Author:** ![Promethea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Promethea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Promethea)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/54 "2010-08-03T19:32:03Z")

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> [@wolf-alice](#):
>
> I also have fond memories of my overhyped NME-reading years (1994 - 1999), **Promethea**. Do you remember when they invented Skunk Rock, on the basis of absolutely nothing? They had an elaborate photoshoot and everything. It involved fire. I wish I were a journalist.

I think you just about picked up the baton about when I quit reading - I stopped some months after Danny Kelly stopped being its editor. So anyway, no I missed the fleeting glory that must have been Skunk Rock 🙂 I remember the New Wave Of The New Wave of British Heavy Metal, though. Or NWONWOBHM for short. And Shoe gazing. And Crusty.

I missed Romo too, **installLSC** which is a shame because that tour sounds hilarious. Presumably it was trying to recreate the C86 tour which as far as I can gather gave us The Jesus and Mary Chain and Primal Scream. Er, cheers for that then, C86.

By the way, to my delight, all the [NME Cover Stars are listed on Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_NME_covers#1990), so the audience can judge with the full benefit of hindsight the least deserving cover since, ooo let’s say 1990. I vote[Northside](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northside_%28band%29) who got a cover based on bugger all, it seems.

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**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/55 "2010-08-03T21:11:03Z")

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> [@Promethea](#):
>
> By the way, to my delight, all the [NME Cover Stars are listed on Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_NME_covers#1990).

Wow, that is a huge collection of bands that _thought_ they were going to be Big. I bet no one’s even _heard_ of all of them…

I think I would’ve started worrying if my band showed up on the cover: “Dude, we made the cover!” “Creem? Spin? Good Housekeeping?” “No, NME!” “Oh, oh.” “What’s the matter? I thought you’d be excited.” “Umm, can I get a ride over to the tech school? I’ve got to enroll in that carpenter’s apprenticeship program.”

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**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/56 "2010-08-03T21:13:55Z")

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> [@Rrose\_Selavy](#):
>
> > [@Promethea](#):
> >
> > The NME always used to be terrible for promising untold fame and fortune for tiny indie bands who never actually got anywhere. Sad, really. Personal favourite of this: Hipsway. Band from the mid '80s who made the cover of the paper on the basis of one top 20 hit. “HIPSWAY: BORN TO BE KINGS!”, the cover proudly and confidently declared.
> 
> I think in my time reading the NME in the late 70s early 80s , they weren’t looking for the next Beatles all the time , so much as the next Sex Pistols or Joy Divison. Since they expected them to possibly come from an obscure source or indie label , but really hadn’t clue how to predict, so EVERY new band came into the radar and many got big write ups or cover stories just in case so later they could say they spotted them first.
> 
> As Cyril Connolly wrote in the 1930s:  
> “Whom the Gods would destroy,  
> they first call promising”😃
> 
> -

Cyril Connolly?

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/57 "2010-08-03T21:19:23Z")

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> [@digs](#):
>
> Ok, we’re all having a good chuckle at the expense of those short-sighted critics who thought [insert not-yet-worthy band/actress name] was going to be the next [insert worthy band/actress name].
> 
> But what about you? No, not you the actor, not your little garage/basement/covers band
> 
> No, _the music/person/invention **you** thought was “The Next Big Thing”_.
> 
> Bonus points if you trumpeted this to your friends…
> 
> I could mention mine, but… maybe later. It’s embarrassing…

Me? I was _dead sure_ the Scissor Sisters’ [“Take Your Mama”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=od7-fyGa9DQ&feature=avmsc2) was going to be the most massive single of the year back 2004.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Telperion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telperion/32/509_2.png) [@Telperion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperion)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/58 "2010-08-03T21:27:49Z")

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> [@ministryman](#):
>
> Roxette - following in the tradition of Swedish pop rockers (Blue Swede and ABBA)

They did sell some 60 million albums though, so that’s pretty big by most standards.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/59 "2010-08-03T21:54:26Z")

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> [@MTCicero](#):
>
> Cyril Connolly?

No, semi-carnally!

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\
**Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-big-things-that-werent/548890/60 "2010-08-03T22:02:19Z")

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> [@Sigmagirl](#):
>
> The joint autobiography by Leiber & Stoller described their certainty that they had found the greatest new group of all time: Stealer’s Wheel. Remember _Back in the Middle with You_?

[nitpick from someone who had the single, and who just saw Reservoir Dogs a couple of weeks ago][“Stuck In The Middle With You”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URmlMI0I2GQ)  
[/nitpick from someone who had the single, and who just saw Reservoir Dogs a couple of weeks ago]

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