# The next person who says "Tiger Woods" to me gets a punch in the face. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 4, 2009, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980 "2009-12-04T15:06:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/21 "2009-12-04T17:35:47Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Agree with the O.P.: who gives a fuck? If he drove drunk he’s not the first/won’t be the last/nobody was hurt/his business/let the cops deal with hit/get over it. Same if he has a girlfriend or marital problems, doesn’t affect me in the least. He’s not on a stump somewhere trying to impose values on others, so let him alone already, sheezus. I’d say the same thing if it was an actor, writer, Nobel prize winner, or even a non moralistic politician. That would be true for the vast majority of people but not true in the same way for him. He is the face of a $100+ million yearly empire. Misconduct on his part does impact a lot of people in their business dealings and potentially even with other people’s jobs. It isn’t just about him. He should have been smart enough to either avoid the whole thing or be way more discreet about it. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/22 "2009-12-04T17:45:06Z")
How exactly does who he’s shagging 'impact a lot of people in their business dealings" or “other people’s jobs”? I’m curious. Yeah, he is the face of several high priced ad campaigns, so what? Most of his sponsors seem to be also in the ‘it don’t matter to us’ camp. So who, besides his family and close friends, is impacted again? I don’t usually feel sympathy for high profile celebrities who get caught out, but I find I feel nothing but sympathy for him. I believe I speak for millions, around the world when I say, “Enough already!” I mean, the economy is in the tank, thousands are out of jobs, two wars are being waged, health care reform teeters and this story is top of the news? A day, maybe two, I could understand, but it just seems endless. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/23 "2009-12-04T18:06:05Z")
This thread should be read to “Bohemian Rhapsody.” ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/24 "2009-12-04T18:22:54Z")
One of our local news stations had a story last night—i kid you not—about how the Woods saga is affecting local families. The story discussed the difficulties parents are having explaining Woods’ infidelities to their children. I almost put a foot through our television screen. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/25 "2009-12-04T18:48:20Z")
I personally like the constant updates. Because if Mrs. Woods suddenly find herself single again; I’d like to throw my hat into the ring. And yes, I totally have a chance. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/26 "2009-12-04T18:49:26Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > This thread should be read to “Bohemian Rhapsody.” Is golf a real game? Is it a rich hobby? Caught in a press storm No escape from TMZ Open your eyes Look to the skies and see He’s just a golfer He needs no sympathy Cause your fame will come It’ll go Little scoop Brings you low Whatever way the press spins Doesn’t really matter to me. Mama! Just hit a tree I got into my car Put my foot down on the gas I swerved and then a crash Mama! My wife just had a son But now I’ve thrown my career away Mama! Ooohhh Didn’t mean to make the news. If I’m still on ET this time tomorrow Carry on, carry on, cause only CNN matters. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/27 "2009-12-04T18:51:19Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > I personally like the constant updates. > > Because if Mrs. Woods suddenly find herself single again; I’d like to throw my hat into the ring. > > And yes, I totally have a chance. In that case, there seems to be an opening at this weekend’s Chevron World Challenge tournament. Technically, you’d have a chance there too. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/28 "2009-12-04T18:54:39Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Because if Mrs. Woods suddenly find herself single again; I’d like to throw my hat into the ring. > > And yes, I totally have a chance. That new cologne, Ego Boost, really lives up to its name, doesn’t it? And to the o.p.: Lion Savanah. Leopord Tundra. Cougar Mountain. Bobcat Meadow. Go ahead, throw that punch; I need to practice my taan da. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/29 "2009-12-04T18:57:25Z")
We need to move on to the next celebrity sports scandal. Something like “Tim Tebow Busted In Satanic Child Porn Cult Raid”. > [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > And to the o.p.: Lion Savanah. Leopord Tundra. Cougar Mountain. Bobcat Meadow. In what could be a new low, the New York Post’s front page headline yesterday was “Tiger is a Cheetah” (get it?) accompanied by a photoshopped image of Tiger and his wife, Tiger sporting various bruises and bandaid-covered wounds along with a couple of missing teeth. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/30 "2009-12-04T18:58:45Z")
Recently, there was a link on [fark.com](http://fark.com) that said “Tiger charges photographer” and linked to a pic the photographer took. Here I was thinking “charged him with what? And why take a picture of the paperwork?” Only, it turns out, it was an actual _Panthera tigris_ tiger. The picture was pretty damn cool, and the photographer survived. [sub]This pointless tidbit brought to you by someone who doesn’t go looking for tabloid journalism but still sees way too much of it.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/31 "2009-12-04T19:01:25Z")
Tiger Woods made golf popular again. For that, he should burn. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/32 "2009-12-04T19:28:41Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > What? Did he fuck your wife too? I still want to hear the answer to this question. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Lowry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Sam\_Lowry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Lowry)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/33 "2009-12-04T20:13:07Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > This thread should be read to “Bohemian Rhapsody.” That’s funny, did you see [this](http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-december-1-2009/tiger-woods-newzak) on the Daily Show the other night? ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/34 "2009-12-04T20:13:15Z")
I was hoping this whole mess would clear up quickly because the name of my new band is “Tiger Woods” and we’d like to avoid any confusion. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/35 "2009-12-04T21:01:38Z")
> [@Bartman](#): > > I’m not hugely into golf or tabloids, so I don’t really talk about Tiger much. But I have to say I love his name: Tiger Woods. It’s unique, interesting, and seems to fit the man very well. I hear he’s changing his nickname to Cheetah. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/36 "2009-12-04T21:03:27Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > I hear he’s changing his nickname to Cheetah. **rimshot** ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/37 "2009-12-04T21:10:41Z")
I hope Phil Mickelson was paying attention. Tiger’s wife showed how to beat him. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/38 "2009-12-04T21:26:00Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > I hear he’s changing his nickname to Cheetah. I think Tiger Woods actually sounds like a good candidate for **Sampiro** ’s [What’s your porn name?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=542541) thread. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/39 "2009-12-04T21:33:20Z")
> [@Sam\_Lowry](#): > > That’s funny, did you see [this](http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-december-1-2009/tiger-woods-newzak) on the Daily Show the other night? Of course. Oddly, it was the day after I watched the Muppet version on youtube. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/40 "2009-12-04T21:34:54Z")
> [@Captain\_Amazing](#): > > Is golf a real game? > Is it a rich hobby? _applause_ Well, Tiger is used to filling 18 holes in a match, and it looks like he still has 15 to go. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980.md?page=3)