# The next person who says "Tiger Woods" to me gets a punch in the face. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 4, 2009, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980 "2009-12-04T15:06:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/41 "2009-12-04T21:55:47Z")
Nothing to add but thanks for the amusement, I laughed out loud at some of these. ---
**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/42 "2009-12-04T22:46:06Z")
So, when Tiger said it was just an accident and those online rumors were all false, was he lying? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/43 "2009-12-04T22:53:06Z")
The women in the office have already moved on from He Who Shall Remain Nameless to whether some women in Italy is guilty. They have a “feeling about it”. :rolleyes: But during the HWSRN phase of the week, the boss said “When I lived in California…” and her SUBORDINATE cut in with “You screwed someone famous?”. :eek: Gah, mama needs a new pair of noise-defeaning earphones. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/44 "2009-12-04T23:10:56Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > That new cologne, Ego Boost, really lives up to its name, doesn’t it? > > And to the o.p.: Lion Savanah. Leopord Tundra. Cougar Mountain. Bobcat Meadow. > > Go ahead, throw that punch; I need to practice my taan da. > > Stranger Do this on the golf course, Happy Gilmore vs Bob Barker style. Happy: [punch] The price is wrooooong Bob: [punch] [kick] [power slam] NOW you’ve had enough! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/45 "2009-12-05T01:49:58Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > In that case, there seems to be an opening at this weekend’s Chevron World Challenge tournament. Technically, you’d have a chance there too. Lol. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/46 "2009-12-05T01:50:55Z")
> [@Captain\_Amazing](#): > > Is golf a real game? > Is it a rich hobby? > Caught in a press storm > No escape from TMZ > Open your eyes > Look to the skies and see > He’s just a golfer > He needs no sympathy > Cause your fame will come > It’ll go > Little scoop > Brings you low > Whatever way the press spins > Doesn’t really matter to me. > > Mama! Just hit a tree > I got into my car > Put my foot down on the gas > I swerved and then a crash > Mama! My wife just had a son > But now I’ve thrown my career away > Mama! Ooohhh > Didn’t mean to make the news. > If I’m still on ET this time tomorrow > Carry on, carry on, cause only CNN matters. Rowr. How YOU doin’? (I have a thing for the funny witty guys.) ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/47 "2009-12-05T05:51:06Z")
But, he’s a man who hits a ball with a stick! That’s _extremely important!_ ---
**Author:** ![manila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@manila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manila)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/48 "2009-12-05T05:56:41Z")
I suspect when you lot over that side of the pond wake up, he may have been hit into the bunker by this [BBC News - Amanda Knox guilty of Meredith Kercher murder](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8394750.stm) ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/49 "2009-12-05T06:08:38Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > How exactly does who he’s shagging 'impact a lot of people in their business dealings" or “other people’s jobs”? I’m curious. > > Yeah, he is the face of several high priced ad campaigns, so what? Most of his sponsors seem to be also in the ‘it don’t matter to us’ camp. So who, besides his family and close friends, is impacted again? > > I don’t usually feel sympathy for high profile celebrities who get caught out, but I find I feel nothing but sympathy for him. > > I believe I speak for millions, around the world when I say, “Enough already!” I mean, the economy is in the tank, thousands are out of jobs, two wars are being waged, health care reform teeters and this story is top of the news? A day, maybe two, I could understand, but it just seems endless. I agree completely. The _only_ people on the entire planet who need to be concerned with this are: 1. Tiger Woods 2. Mrs. Woods 3. The women Mr. Woods was allegedly involved with 4. No-one else. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/50 "2009-12-05T09:11:07Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > One of our local news stations had a story last night—i kid you not—about how the Woods saga is affecting local families. The story discussed the difficulties parents are having explaining Woods’ infidelities to their children. > > I almost put a foot through our television screen. If the fucking jerks would stop pasting it all over the internet and news programs, and tabloid press [are there printed tabloids any more?] then they wouldn’t have to explain to anybody. Sheesh, and half the people the kids already know are divorced, or screwing around, they already understand, why the hell would the kids be traumatized… half of them probably have no idea who tiger woods actually is [when was the last time you saw a 7 year old voluntarily turning on golf?] ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/51 "2009-12-05T16:59:59Z")
I’ve only recently learned—from a CNN headline link to a story I’d no interest in reading—that Dr. Drew thinks Tiger Woods may have a sex addiction. I will defer to the good doctor’s diagnosis, but really, for what other possible reason would a filthy-rich man who has beautiful women constantly throwing themselves at his feet ever be led astray? It’s unconscionable, and if I’m not heavily mistaken, unprecedented! In a related unread story, “Why has Paris Hilton disappeared?” has been added to [CNN.com](http://CNN.com)’s long-running feature series “Questions Nobody is Asking.” ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2009, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/52 "2009-12-06T05:17:12Z")
Well, _I_ just learned from a link from Go Fug Yourself to Us Magazine that Tiger had a sex dream about a threesome between his mistress, Derek Jeter, and David Boreanaz. I confess, I too have had sex dreams about David Boreanaz. Stars - they’re just like us! ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/53 "2009-12-08T09:11:31Z")
David Boreanaz is much hotter than Tiger Woods anyway. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/54 "2009-12-08T16:39:30Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > I agree completely. The _only_ people on the entire planet who need to be concerned with this are: > > 1. Tiger Woods > 2. Mrs. Woods > 3. The women Mr. Woods was allegedly involved with > 4. No-one else. 3.a. Laywers ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/55 "2009-12-08T16:41:44Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > One of our local news stations had a story last night—i kid you not—about how the Woods saga is affecting local families. The story discussed the difficulties parents are having explaining Woods’ infidelities to their children. > > I almost put a foot through our television screen. “Our top story tonight - infidelity! Can it happen here? Our reporter speaks with a local family that has experienced infidelity and the reactions of their children…” You know, I can ALMOST hear such blathering, something they might show, on a slow news day. Either the cheater speaks out (in disguise, in a dark room) or you have the family all lined up, crushed together, sitting on a couch. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/56 "2009-12-08T17:30:26Z")
Seems like Tiger now has everything he needs to run for elected office. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/57 "2009-12-09T06:14:42Z")
salinqmind, it m,ust have been a slow news day, too. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980/58 "2009-12-10T14:28:34Z")
> [@smithsb](#): > > 3.a. Laywers This is the bit I don’t get - why do they need lawyers? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-person-who-says-tiger-woods-to-me-gets-a-punch-in-the-face/519980.md?page=2)