# The next stranger who says \_\_\_\_ to me will be slapped with a cod **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 31, 2007, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807 "2007-12-31T15:56:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/21 "2007-12-31T19:17:01Z")
I think I would respond with a sarcastic “Thanks for your valuable input.” ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/22 "2007-12-31T19:28:42Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > (even more excited) ah HA! So you’re not REALLY Jewish! er, why are you swinging that fish at me? Yep, that’s the one I’m going to be codslapping people for. Them, and the rest of the people who can’t get it into their thick skulls that there’s a difference between Judaism and Jewishness. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/23 "2007-12-31T19:57:15Z")
[QUOTE=Rube E. Tewesday] Wow. I used to think strangers said some bizarre things to me, but apparently I’ve actually been living a sheltered life. [/QUOTE] Apparently being Asian makes it okay. No one would say something like that to a black person, for example. “Oh, yeah, I know some black people.” :dubious: > [@Antinor1](#): > > I know he meant well, but I really could have cod-slapped a co-worker who asked what he should get his brother for a graduation gift. Since I’m gay and his brother is also gay of course I would know what he would like. It’s like people of any minority are supposed to automatically know each other and be more or less alike. :rolleyes: Like we have some kind of giant network with a phone directory and a newsletter. ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/24 "2007-12-31T20:13:51Z")
With a 5lb long-haired chihuahua, I got so many idiotic questions/comments when we used to live in-town and walked him, it wasn’t even funny. I think the one that always made me laugh, though, was “does he bite?” My answer was always “well, yeh, if you deserve it.” That was enough to keep stupid kids away (stupid adults, too). My chi is a very well-trained, well-socialised, non-obnoxious chihuahua. He is not the typical _old lady lapdog_ that most people think of when they think of chihuahuas. He is only hyper until he figures out that you’re good people, then he is content to show off all his tricks – of which he has many. When my daughter was still a babe-in-arms, I swore the next person to say “oh, your little boy is so adorable” was going to get fish-slapped. Why? Because my “little boy” was **obviously** a little girl – as was indicated by all the pink, lacy, frilly _dresses_ that I put on her. “oh, what a cute baby, is it a girl?” was only marginally annoying, and yes, I did once respond with “why, no, actually, it’s a boy, but I really want him to be gay when he is older, so I am training him now to wear dresses and hair accessories.” ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/25 "2007-12-31T20:17:28Z")
I nearly did slap someone yesterday, and I would have used a cod if one was handy. It was in church, no less. You see, three months ago, my fiance’s building was completely destroyed by a fire. By “destroyed”, I mean the walls are standing, but the interior’s structurally unsound, and I’d say he lost 75% to 80% of what he owned. No tenants have been allowed in the building since the fire. They started tearing the building down on Saturday. On Sunday, I told a fellow choir member that they were tearing down his building. She replied, “Oh, they got everything out then?” Alas, even liberal Episcopal churches frown on disemboweling people. Instead, I explained to her that we’d recovered very little and would not be able to recover anything more. Oh, yes. If anyone compliments me on how strong we’ve been or how well we’ve dealt with this, I may need to borrow the cod. We’ve been strong because we really haven’t had much choice. A few, "Oh, poor baby"s would go down all right, though. That or a chance to walk the corgis, border collies, or pugs. I’m a soft touch when it comes to them. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/26 "2007-12-31T20:18:35Z")
**The next stranger who says \_\_\_\_ to me will be slapped with a cod** A whole cod, or only a piece of cod? Being hit with a codpiece would be embarrassing. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/27 "2007-12-31T20:25:56Z")
Mine happens on occasions when people see my our last name, such as when registering for school or at the doctor’s office. "She sure doesn’t look like a (insert our Spanish last name here)! Yes. My kids are blonde. We have a Spanish last name. It may be someone unusual, but certainly not unheard of. I never know what to say to people…“well, it IS our last name…I’m sorry if we don’t live up to your preconceived notions.” The _weirdest_ thing I was asked was in my daughter’s intake interview for preschool. I’m not Spanish, and don’t speak a lick of it or any other language except for English (for that matter, neither does my husband…although his father was bilingual, my husband’s Spanish skills are rudimentary at best). I have no discernable accent other than north-side Chicago. And yet, the preschool director asked me if my daughter would need and ESL classroom in school. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Crawlspace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Crawlspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crawlspace)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/28 "2007-12-31T20:54:48Z")
[QUOTE=Leaffan] Also, about once a month on average, I’ll say hello to a store clerk and he or she will respond with “Not bad. You?” :smack: [/QUOTE] Ah, another variant of the infamous [You Too](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAZXQItJs0M) phenomenon. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/29 "2007-12-31T21:02:26Z")
Ah, a 2000s style “You Too”. ---
**Author:** ![Pazu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pazu/32/15522_2.png) [@Pazu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pazu)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/30 "2007-12-31T21:18:50Z")
[QUOTE=HazelNutCoffee] Stranger: So, where are you from? Me: I live on the north side. Stranger: :: laughs :: No, I meant, where are you _from_? Like, ethnically? Me: I was born in Korea, if that’s what you’re asking. Stranger: Cool. :: pause :: I used to date a Korean girl. / I knew some Korean kids in high school. / They say Korean women are hot in bed. Me: :: slaps stranger with wet trout :: [/QUOTE] Oddly, the only place I ever got this sort of thing was in Chicago, too. I don’t know what it is about that city, but I’m glad I don’t live there any more. ---
**Author:** ![brownie55](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f14d63/32.png) [@brownie55](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brownie55)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/31 "2007-12-31T21:26:05Z")
[QUOTE=Grits and Hard Toast] I can relate. I have a corgi, and during walks strangers like to stop me to tell me that Queen Elizabeth also has corgis. If they don’t know what kind of dog she is, they will ask me if her legs are supposed to be that short or if something happened to her. Once I told a guy who asked why her legs were so short that it was the result of a tragic farm accident, but I preferred not to talk about it. Obligatory Christmas morning photo: [http://i13.tinypic.com/71oadqu.jpg](http://i13.tinypic.com/71oadqu.jpg) [/QUOTE] Her legs are so short her belly drags on the floor. That is gonna get comments. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/32 "2007-12-31T21:43:32Z")
[QUOTE=Siege] I nearly did slap someone yesterday, and I would have used a cod if one was handy. It was in church, no less. You see, three months ago, my fiance’s building was completely destroyed by a fire. By “destroyed”, I mean the walls are standing, but the interior’s structurally unsound, and I’d say he lost 75% to 80% of what he owned. No tenants have been allowed in the building since the fire. They started tearing the building down on Saturday. On Sunday, I told a fellow choir member that they were tearing down his building. She replied, “Oh, they got everything out then?” Alas, even liberal Episcopal churches frown on disemboweling people. Instead, I explained to her that we’d recovered very little and would not be able to recover anything more. Oh, yes. If anyone compliments me on how strong we’ve been or how well we’ve dealt with this, I may need to borrow the cod. We’ve been strong because we really haven’t had much choice. A few, "Oh, poor baby"s would go down all right, though. That or a chance to walk the corgis, border collies, or pugs. I’m a soft touch when it comes to them. [/QUOTE] Sounds like you need some time in the puppy room. Yes, a medium-sized room with about 10 puppies all rolling around and playing in it. That should help lift your spirits, at least temporarily. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/33 "2007-12-31T22:10:05Z")
[QUOTE=Shecky] There’s an English Sheepdog I walk on weekends, and I get the ever popular, “Why is he shorter/fatter than my dog?” all the damn time. At one point, I had to explain I was bulking him up to [/QUOTE] be served at Christmas dinner. Just to see their reaction. ---
**Author:** ![kitemaker\_chuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a88e4f/32.png) [@kitemaker\_chuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitemaker_chuck)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/34 "2007-12-31T22:10:23Z")
[QUOTE=Jennshark] The next stranger who stops me while I’m walking Scout and says “you know, border collies need jobs to be happy” will be summarily slapped with a cold, wet fish. Jeez, do you think that’s why I’m out walking her and she goes to herding school and dog school and is doing agility training? [/QUOTE] Assault with a cod?? Somebody call a carp!!! ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/35 "2007-12-31T22:17:44Z")
[QUOTE=Pazu] Oddly, the only place I ever got this sort of thing was in Chicago, too. I don’t know what it is about that city, but I’m glad I don’t live there any more. [/QUOTE] Eh, Chicago’s a great city, but it is a city where there still is a lot of personal identity placed in ethnicity/nationality. Even the “ethnics” (forgive my use of the word) seem to be just as curious as to other people’s backgrounds, and I would argue moreso. ---
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/36 "2007-12-31T22:20:29Z")
[QUOTE=HazelNutCoffee] Apparently being Asian makes it okay. No one would say something like that to a black person, for example. “Oh, yeah, I know some black people.” :dubious: [/QUOTE] If you’re black and live in an area with a small minority population, you’ll sometimes get things like “Do you know Tyrone?, He’s a real nice guy.” Of course they’ll often be shocked if you \*don’t \* know Tyrone, because how can you not? You’re black, and he’s black and you live in the same area, so you’ve got to be cousins, or at least go to the same monthly Black People Meetings right? Another one- You look so young!\* This probably wouldn’t come up if I just looked a few years younger, but I been told I look about fourteen. \*Well the initial comment is fine, but some people just won’t let it go at that, and they all make the same comments/jokes. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/37 "2007-12-31T22:26:11Z")
“So, what ARE you, anyway?” Fucking human, last I checked. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/38 "2007-12-31T22:26:54Z")
I swear I came into this thread to post this, based on the title alone. I didn’t realize it was going to turn into a “stop insulting my doggy” thread… 1. “She’s showing her age” What? She’s five! She has had white hair since she was born! I saw her dad and he was blindingly light! Her muzzle and her feathers are white, yes. That is why she’s so goddamn beautiful! 2. “She’s five? Oh…” What, do you think she’s going to die in a coupla years? She’s not a goddamn great dane! We put a lot of time, money and energy into making sure she’s as healthy as can be. Is five the throw-away age for most dogs? I’ll see you at the dog park in 5 years, buddy, even if I’ve got her in a back pack all C3PO-style. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/39 "2007-12-31T22:27:03Z")
“Job” has a slang meaning here which refers to what comes out of a dog’s rear end; had me wondering for a bit just why some nut would be so fascinated and informative about a stranger’s dog’s number twos – and that a slap with a cod would probably be a merciful act in such circumstance. As it is, folk shouldn’t be so nosey about a dog’s employment status. Can’t they have a little privacy? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2007, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807/40 "2007-12-31T22:27:27Z")
[QUOTE=Omega Glory] If you’re black and live in an area with a small minority population, you’ll sometimes get things like “Do you know Tyrone?, He’s a real nice guy.” Of course they’ll often be shocked if you \*don’t \* know Tyrone, because how can you not? You’re black, and he’s black and you live in the same area, so you’ve got to be cousins, or at least go to the same monthly Black People Meetings right? [/QUOTE] I’m actually shocked at how many members of certain close-knit communities do know each other. For example, if you find out my parents are Poles from the Southwest Side of Chicago, it wouldn’t be offensive at all to ask whether they know so-and-so, who is Polish from the same side of town. There’s a decent chance they do know that person. When I meet Indian clients for business, it shocks me at how many do know some of my past clients, even though they were not referred to me by the Indian community. I personally would never bring a question like that up in conversation, because it’s been drilled into me that some people may consider it offensive, but I wouldn’t assume any ill or prejudiced intent behind the question alone. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-next-stranger-who-says-____-to-me-will-be-slapped-with-a-cod/431807.md?page=3)