# The "Noah" commercials may LOOK pretty, but boy do they sound stupid
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [March 9, 2014, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243 "2014-03-09T04:37:10Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2014, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/1 "2014-03-09T04:37:10Z")
I was watching tennis much of the day and they kept playing [this commercial for “Noah.”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR2raSZihOM)
I wasn’t paying attention to the visuals, so if you’d only want the visuals maybe this is the most appealing thing ever. But the voice over and the dialog just strikes me as terrible and cheesy as hell.
Is it just me?
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### Author:  [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2014, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/2 "2014-03-09T05:05:30Z")
No, it’s not.
I like pretty much all the actors shown, but geez Lou-eeze . . . blech.
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### Author:  [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2014, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/3 "2014-03-09T07:43:33Z")
You were maybe expecting something original?
I went to see some movie…all the trailers looked exactly alike, and they all looked like Noah. (One of them might even have been Noah.)
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### Author:  [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2014, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/4 "2014-03-09T07:52:58Z")
Reminds me of the trailer for the movie “The Cell”. It looked like an absolutely incredible movie, but I don’t recall seeing a single positive review.
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### Author:  [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2014, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/5 "2014-03-09T08:08:04Z")
Remember, this is Darren Aronovsky we’re talking about - director of **Black Swan, the Wrestler, the Fountain, Requiem for a Dream** and **Pi**. The film may turn out to be a failure, but it will definitely be an interesting failure.
(Although the probability of ass to ass dildo action is, unfortunately, rather low).
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### Author:  [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2014, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/6 "2014-03-09T16:42:53Z")
This movie apparently features big budget Angel fights, and not the fun peaceful Precious Moments kinds of angels, but the scary Old Testament versions of angels. That alone has me excited about this.
Oh, and it’s going to also have [Nephilim](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nephilim) in it.
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### Author:  [@Telperion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperion)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2014, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/7 "2014-03-09T16:58:58Z")
I’ve always thought it would be interesting to see how Noah collected all those animals. “_Ostriches, check. Let’s see now…Rhinoceros?? Oh, come on!_”
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### Author:  [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2014, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/8 "2014-03-09T18:07:11Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#):
>
> You were maybe expecting something original?
When it first came on, and I heard the voiceover, I thought it was a parody.
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### Author:  [@Roundabout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roundabout)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2014, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/9 "2014-03-09T20:05:37Z")
Seems like the common pretentious movie ad to me.
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### Author:  [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2014, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/10 "2014-03-09T20:36:21Z")
Note that the trailer is thirty seconds long and it’s not till three seconds from the end that it’s possible to guess that it’s about Noah. This is a typical action-movie trailer trick - convince the viewers of the trailer that the movie will be a pure rockem-sockem action movie and then at the end finally mention the name of the film. You can do this with almost any film. I just checked YouTube for an example of a fake trailer for an old movie that’s carefully cut together to make it look like an action film. Here’s what I found:
[ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKNDml12Big)
You can recut an old movie to look like a horror movie too:
[ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2T5_0AGdFic)
Trailers essentially tell you nothing about the movie itself. The art of making trailers is now considered more important by Hollywood than the art of making films. Ignore them. They’re just a scam to get you to see a movie despite the fact that you learn nothing about the film except what the production company wants to tell you about it.
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### Author:  [@sparky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sparky_1)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2014, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/11 "2014-03-09T22:08:56Z")
I just watched the trailer. That looks awful.
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### Author:  [@heathen\_earthling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heathen_earthling)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2014, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/12 "2014-03-09T23:01:19Z")
> [@Telperion](#):
>
> I’ve always thought it would be interesting to see how Noah collected all those animals. “_Ostriches, check. Let’s see now…Rhinoceros?? Oh, come on!_”
It’ll be a real wasted opportunity if there are no dinosaurs in this movie.
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### Author:  [@eenerms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eenerms)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2014, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/13 "2014-03-09T23:32:39Z")
But what about the unicorns ??
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### Author:  [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2014, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/14 "2014-03-10T00:03:01Z")
> [@Telperion](#):
>
> I’ve always thought it would be interesting to see how Noah collected all those animals. “_Ostriches, check. Let’s see now…Rhinoceros?? Oh, come on!_”
“Damn it, I said TWO of each kind, Ham.”
“But, father, it’s a pair-of-mecium.”
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### Author:  [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2014, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/15 "2014-03-10T00:22:37Z")
In another thread, a fellow doper says:
> [@Shodan](#):
>
> The Noah movie looks goofy from the trailer - they seem to be trying to re-invent it as “Lord of the Ark” instead of LOTR, with battle scenes.
To which [this was my commentary](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17178226&postcount=14).
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### Author:  [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2014, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/16 "2014-03-10T04:43:51Z")
I just saw the extended trailer in the theater, and it\* looks \*damn good.
But- Noah?
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### Author:  [@bldysabba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bldysabba)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2014, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/17 "2014-03-10T05:11:56Z")
> [@Wendell\_Wagner](#):
>
> [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKNDml12Big](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKNDml12Big)
>
> You can recut an old movie to look like a horror movie too:
>
> [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2T5\_0AGdFic](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2T5_0AGdFic)
These are both really well done
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### Author:  [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2014, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/18 "2014-03-11T23:20:56Z")
> [@eenerms](#):
>
> But what about the unicorns ??
Only virgins can catch them. But, don’t worry, they can magically appear anywhere and will be just fine after the flood.
I wonder if everyone is going to be four foot tall or shorter?
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### Author:  [@wellanuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wellanuff)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2014, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/19 "2014-03-11T23:34:13Z")
> [@Alessan](#):
>
> (Although the probability of ass to ass dildo action is, unfortunately, rather low).
Most biblical scholars agree that the story in which Noah finds that he accidentally put two female donkeys on the ark and, taking pity on the poor creatures, provided them with sex toys is most likely apocryphal, so I can understand why the director left it out.
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### Author:  [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)
#### Post date: [March 12, 2014, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/20 "2014-03-12T01:05:32Z")
I saw the trailer in the theater, and it wasn’t until the word “ark” was used that I realized it wasn’t a pseudo-historic action epic about Vikings. Then I was kind of disappointed, because although I probably wouldn’t have bothered to see such a movie it seems like a pretty cool idea that I’m sure a lot of people would have been excited about.
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