# The "Noah" commercials may LOOK pretty, but boy do they sound stupid **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 9, 2014, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243 "2014-03-09T04:37:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/81 "2014-03-31T21:46:27Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > So has the movie. 75% positive on Rotten Tomatoes. Are you sure you’re just not annoyed by the subject matter? ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/82 "2014-04-01T17:07:53Z")
Here’s a compelling - or at least passionately articulated - argument that the Kabbalah was the root text for Aronofsky, not Genesis: > **[Sympathy For The Devil — DR. BRIAN MATTSON](http://drbrianmattson.com/journal/2014/3/31/sympathy-for-the-devil)** > > In Darren Aronofsky’s new star-gilt silver screen epic, Noah , Adam and Eve are luminescent and fleshless, right up until the moment they eat the forbidden fruit. Such a notion isn’t found in the Bible, of course. This, among the multitude of... ---
**Author:** ![fallapart](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fallapart/32/3018_2.png) [@fallapart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fallapart)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/83 "2014-04-01T23:07:11Z")
> [@Maserschmidt](#): > > [Sympathy For The Devil — DR. BRIAN MATTSON](http://drbrianmattson.com/journal/2014/3/31/sympathy-for-the-devil) That was a very interesting essay. It definitely gives the film a subversive twist. From Maserschmidt’s link: > [@](#): > > The world of Aronofsky’s Noah is a thoroughly Gnostic one: a graded universe of “higher” and “lower.” The “spiritual” is good, and way, way, way “up there” where the ineffable, unspeaking god dwells, and the “material” is bad, and way, way down here where our spirits are encased in material flesh. This is not only true of the fallen sons and daughters of Adam and Eve, but of fallen angels, who are explicitly depicted as being spirits trapped inside a material “body” of cooled molten lava. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/84 "2014-04-01T23:54:05Z")
> [@Maserschmidt](#): > > Here’s a compelling - or at least passionately articulated - argument that the Kabbalah was the root text for Aronofsky, not Genesis: > > [Sympathy For The Devil — DR. BRIAN MATTSON](http://drbrianmattson.com/journal/2014/3/31/sympathy-for-the-devil) I admit I never understood why knowledge of good and evil was so damning, but then I left the church at an early age. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/85 "2014-04-02T01:56:09Z")
> [@j666](#): > > I admit I never understood why knowledge of good and evil was so damning, but then I left the church at an early age. Speaking of this notorious tree, I loved Aronofsky’s depiction of it as a double rooted/trunked tree entwined with one another. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/86 "2014-04-02T07:16:57Z")
I finally talked to my sister about this. As I predicted, she hated that Noah was this evil murderer, when the premise of the story is that he is the only righteous man left. She also did not understand why the rock angels, the very beings that causes all the wickedness in the world by their procreation, would be let back into heaven when they died. And that they were so easily killed in the first place, being made of, well, rock. She also claimed that not all the sons had wives by the time they got in the ark, unlike in the text. She said she also tried to look at it as if she didn’t know the source material, and said she didn’t think it flowed well, and that she would have hated the main character even if he wasn’t Noah. The only parts she did like were with Methuselah, who gave them much needed comic relief. I’ve heard enough that I will personally not go see it–even if I do get over this latest dizziness spell. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/87 "2014-04-02T10:52:47Z")
Saw Russell Crowe on The Tonight Show and he described it as a Sci Fi epic, so there you go. ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/88 "2014-04-02T17:02:52Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > The only parts she did like were with Methuselah, who gave them much needed comic relief. This does not sound like a movie I’ll see. But I might have had Methuselah been Mel Brooks. ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/89 "2014-04-15T16:17:30Z")
Saw it this weekend, loved it (I saw this as a Christian, FWIW). I don’t really think the idea that it was a Gnostic tale holds much sway - the Creator is seen as good, not as part of a demiurge (for one). And nothing, IMO, seemed to indicate the spirit was elevated above the flesh - there was no “we’re going to heaven!” stuff. I enjoyed the Watchers and thought their story was powerful (they were let back into the heavenly realm btw, because they gave their lives for God in the end - and the first one to ‘perish’ even asked God for forgiveness). I think the movie is also very good in discussing how God speaks to us and our interpretations of what God says to us, and how clinging to an interpretation can lead to very powerful moral dilemmas. Noah has an interpretation that the flood is there to kill off man-kind, because we have completely messed up Creation - the boat is for the animals, not for Noah and his family. But then: Ila has two girls… and Noah still clings to his own interpretation of the flood, even after that sign. And still thinks he failed God after the dove returns with the vine after he spares the children. So, I really really liked it. ---
**Author:** ![JacobSwan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@JacobSwan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JacobSwan)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2014, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/90 "2014-04-15T22:25:36Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > “If you liked 300, and you liked Titanic, you’ll love Noah” > > Well, maybe they’re right. Surely it’s the exact opposite of titanic. The boat is the only thing that doesn’t sink. ---
**Author:** ![magnusblitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@magnusblitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magnusblitz)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/91 "2014-04-18T07:48:45Z")
> [@TonySinclair](#): > > I haven’t seen the movie, but the ads make it look like they were fighting over the ark _before_ the Flood started. Although that’s less certain, it’s not contradicted by anything in the Bible, and it’s plausible that either somebody did believe him, or they simply wanted to steal the ark for the same reasons that people steal cars today. > [@Grumman](#): > > If somebody steals a car, that car is either a) on a street or b) adjacent to a street. Stealing a ship that is nowhere near water, might not be seaworthy, and might not be able to support its own weight if you remove it from its scaffold to move it is nothing like stealing a car. It is more like stealing a house. FWIW, when the human king and his band show up, he seems to think it is some sort of fortress, not a ship, and that Noah is building it to protect himself against the king. Noah explains what it’s for; the king doesn’t really believe him, but decides he wants it anyways. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/92 "2014-04-18T21:55:10Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > Reminds me of the trailer for the movie “The Cell”. It looked like an absolutely incredible movie, but I don’t recall seeing a single positive review. I’ll defend aspects of The Cell. The “acting” involved Jennifer Lopez and Vince Vaughn and wasn’t redeemed by Vincent D’Onofrio, but the visuals inside the world that’s created were pretty striking. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/93 "2014-04-18T23:38:46Z")
I will challenge reviews of The Cell; I recall lots of snicker at the idea of Jennifer Lopez playing an intelligent character, but surprisingly little substantive criticism. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_In\_Black](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@The\_Man\_In\_Black](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_In_Black)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/94 "2014-04-19T00:03:57Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > I’ll defend aspects of The Cell. The “acting” involved Jennifer Lopez and Vince Vaughn and wasn’t redeemed by Vincent D’Onofrio, but the visuals inside the world that’s created were pretty striking. I loved The Cell. I haven’t seen it in 10 years. But I liked it a lot. Noah on the other hand… They really tried. The movie felt “big”. It felt like they even thought they were making a great movie. But I really think that at some point near its completion, Russel Crow and Anthony Hopkins must have really been asking themselves what the Hell they got themselves into. And I liked how my mom described the movie, “It’s abut how Noah built the Ark with the help of the rock transformers.” ---
**Author:** ![blindboyard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blindboyard/32/2833_2.png) [@blindboyard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blindboyard)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243/95 "2014-04-19T09:33:20Z")
> [@TonySinclair](#): > > Now that you mention it, they were also upset that the film made Noah look like some kind of hippie who was outraged that people were eating meat, which they interpreted as an environmentalist agenda. But that actually _ **is** _ Biblical; the Bible says that God didn’t allow meat-eating until after the Flood. Dude! No book spoilers! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-noah-commercials-may-look-pretty-but-boy-do-they-sound-stupid/683243.md?page=4)