# The not-so-nice test **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 31, 2000, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324 "2000-01-31T01:07:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/1 "2000-01-31T01:07:00Z")
While I was at The Spark site, I took the [bitch test](http://www.thespark.com/bitchtest). Here’s what I found out: The results are in. You are certifiably: 25% bitch! hich is lower than the worldwide average 38% How others compare: 2% (same as you) 14% (less bitchy than you) 84% (bitchier than you) Of the 51,892 test takers so far: 49% have been in a catfight 47% have cheated 47% forget birthdays 46% have blamed a friend for farting 27% have gnawed during oral sex 24% wear lots of hairspray 23% have stomped on someone with high heels Interesting Results: -The bitchiest age group so far is 29 year olds. 29 year olds average 47% bitchy. -Women who like the taste of beer are more likely to cheat on their boyfriends. -Canadian women are more likely to consider themselves successful. -Girls with tattoos like authority less. -Girls who sleep with married men are more likely to forget their friends’ birthdays. * * * Your Official Cat Goddess since 10/20/99. “[A]gainst stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain.” --J.C.F.S. as quoted by H.M. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/2 "2000-01-31T01:13:00Z")
Damn, I’m shocked! 35% bitch. Wow, I gotta work harder at this. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Commander\_Fortune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Commander\_Fortune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Commander_Fortune)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/3 "2000-01-31T01:17:00Z")
The results are in. You are certifiably: 50% bitch! which is higher than the worldwide average 38% How others compare: 1% (same as you) 17% (bitchier than you) 82% (less bitchy than you) Of the 53,038 test takers so far: 49% have been in a catfight 47% have cheated 47% forget birthdays 46% have blamed a friend for farting 27% have gnawed during oral sex 24% wear lots of hairspray 23% have stomped on someone with high heels Interesting Results: The bitchiest age group so far is 29 year olds. 29 year olds average 48% bitchy. Women who like the taste of beer are more likely to cheat on their boyfriends. Canadian women are more likely to consider themselves successful. Girls with tattoos like authority less. Girls who sleep with married men are more likely to forget their friends’ birthdays. ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/4 "2000-01-31T01:28:00Z")
> [@](#): > > The results are in. You are certifiably: > 47% bitch! > which is higher than the worldwide average 38% Whaaaat? I’m not a bitch! I’m the kindest, most compassionate so-and-so you could hope to meet! I’m a freakin’ _doormat_ fer’Chrissakes! Where do they get off, calling me a bitch? I’ll kick their ass, see if I don’t! Me, a bitch. Hmmph. Fuckers. * * * An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/5 "2000-01-31T01:33:00Z")
30% bitch here…guess I really _am_ a Boy Scout… 🙂 * * * “You are sweet, kind, and considerate… Like a grown up boy scout with tits!” - Brian, aka SDMB’s one and only Satan. ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/6 "2000-01-31T01:42:00Z")
42% bitch here. Higher than average but not so high that I’d be embarassed to post it here. * * * “Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.” ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/7 "2000-01-31T01:44:00Z")
Hey! I’m 49% bitch! Woohoo! It said that women who like the taste of beer are more likely to cheat on their husbands. Well. At the end of the test, that little bar with the pictures that you click on to go somewhere else on the site (Goddess help me, I cannot remember what it’s called!), are icons of a _red-haired woman._ Heh. I like it. * * * “The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his ribcage.” --anonymous redhead ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/8 "2000-01-31T01:57:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Falcon: > **30% bitch here…guess I really _am_ a Boy Scout… 🙂** Don’t worry, Falcon. You’re still bitchier than me. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/9 "2000-01-31T02:09:00Z")
31% here ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/10 "2000-01-31T02:13:00Z")
The results are in. You are certifiably: 42% bitch! which is higher than the worldwide average 38% How others compare: 2% (same as you) 34% (bitchier than you) 64% (less bitchy than you) Oh, God, that’s a lot more than I’d figured! Of course, it’s probably lower than my husband figured. And they didn’t even ask how many times a day you compare you SO to Homer Simpson. Thank God 🙂 * * * “I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy [The Kat House](http://members.aol.com/gr8kat1/KatGen/home.htm) [Join the FSH Muscular Dystrophy Webring](http://members.aol.com/gr8kat1/KatGen/fshwebring.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Angkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Angkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angkins)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/11 "2000-01-31T02:15:00Z")
I’m 50% bitch!! That’s what I’ve told people…now I have the proof!! ---
**Author:** ![mega\_the\_roo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mega\_the\_roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mega_the_roo)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/12 "2000-01-31T02:18:00Z")
23% bitch. call me a pushover and i’ll punch you in the neck! * * * If anybody wants a sheep, that is proof that he exists. ---
**Author:** ![coosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@coosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coosa)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/13 "2000-01-31T02:19:00Z")
Certifiably 50% bitch!! Gee, what’s wrong with you girls? Bunch of sissies! Hey, Opalcat, Melin, Diane - over here! You know, I used to have a sweatshirt that said “51% Angel, 49% Bitch - DON’T PUSH ME!” Guess I got pushed 😉 * * * Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant. ---
**Author:** ![Fillet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/2acd7d/32.png) [@Fillet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fillet)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/14 "2000-01-31T02:23:00Z")
31% bitchy here, too. ---
**Author:** ![Edlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8797f3/32.png) [@Edlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edlyn)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/15 "2000-01-31T02:36:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Interesting Results: > -The bitchiest age group so far is 29 year olds. 29 year olds average 47% bitchy. > -Women who like the taste of beer are more likely to cheat on their boyfriends. > -Canadian women are more likely to consider themselves successful. > -Girls with tattoos like authority less. > -Girls who sleep with married men are more likely to forget their friends’ birthdays. Wait a minute! I confess to nothing! Don’t _even_ go there! [eyes narrrowing…] * * * You can stand tall without standing on someone. You can be a victor without having victims. -Harriet Woods- ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/16 "2000-01-31T02:38:00Z")
I’ve got you all beat…51 percent bitch!! ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/17 "2000-01-31T03:33:00Z")
35% here. I thought I’d come out higher, somehow. Catrandom, relieved ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/18 "2000-01-31T03:55:00Z")
25%, here. Two years ago, I told a friend that my secret ambition was to be either more of a bitch, or not one at all. Looks like I haven’t made it yet… * * * I think apathy, depression, irony, and confusion are damned fine ways to view a world going to hell. – Cynthia Heimel ---
**Author:** ![missdavis102](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7feea3/32.png) [@missdavis102](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missdavis102)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/19 "2000-01-31T04:01:00Z")
The results are in. I am certifiably: 62% bitch! which is higher than the worldwide average 38% How others compare: 0% (same as you) 5% (bitchier than you) 95% (less bitchy than you) Oh My God! I had no idea! I guess I oughta work on that… ---
**Author:** ![timmar68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/97f17d/32.png) [@timmar68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/timmar68)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324/20 "2000-01-31T04:05:00Z")
43% over here! * * * MaryAnn I wore a peekaboo blouse. He peeked and booed. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-nice-test/13324.md?page=2)