# The not-so-positive fortune teller **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [October 11, 2026, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-positive-fortune-teller/1033748 "2026-10-11T15:29:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2026, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-positive-fortune-teller/1033748/21 "2026-10-12T21:21:30Z")
Ed Glosser, Trivial Psychic [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/h-xz0z1gU1M/maxresdefault.jpg "Ed Glosser, Trivial Psychic: Limited Usefulness - Saturday Night Live") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-xz0z1gU1M) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2026, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-positive-fortune-teller/1033748/22 "2026-10-12T22:13:37Z")
Lumpy mentioned this scene above. [Here’s the link.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hta0ndC7Dqw) It’s the strongest thing in the movie. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2026, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-positive-fortune-teller/1033748/23 "2026-10-13T03:10:26Z")
Hindsight is 20/20: Walken should have yelled at Hartman _ **The ice cream cone is gonna BREAK!** _ ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2026, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-positive-fortune-teller/1033748/24 "2026-10-13T03:15:10Z")
[![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/MhRD2DG7eFg/hqdefault.jpg "The Ice Is Gonna Break!") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhRD2DG7eFg) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2026, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-positive-fortune-teller/1033748/25 "2026-10-13T03:24:22Z")
Fortune: You will be fine, fine and fine, til you’re not…catastrophic. I heard that on a commercial. So sorta like a fortune teller. If I believe every ad, I surely have every disease all those drug companies are fear baiting me about. 😱 I think I need a doctor’s appointment. Soon ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2026, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-positive-fortune-teller/1033748/26 "2026-10-13T03:31:15Z")
[“A wonderful day ahead! You will be surrounded by family and friends. Roger Moore will drop in for lunch, bringing Tony Curtis with him. In the afternoon a substantial cash sum will come your way. In the evening, Petula Clark will visit your home, accompanied by The Mike Sammes Singers. She will sing for you in your own living room. Before you go to bed, Peter Wyngarde will come and declare his undying love for you…”](http://montypython.50webs.com/scripts/Series_3/88.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2026, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-positive-fortune-teller/1033748/27 "2026-10-13T15:15:20Z")
“I foresee lottery winnings in your future!” so you buy a $2.00 ticket and win … $5.00. _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2026, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-positive-fortune-teller/1033748/28 "2026-10-13T15:37:21Z")
Your prostate cancer will be treatable. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2026, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-positive-fortune-teller/1033748/29 "2026-10-13T15:59:03Z")
Fortune teller: “You will soon come into a tidy sum of money, and have the opportunity to take an extended vacation”. “That sounds great-- I can’t wait”. _A couple weeks later…_ “Here’s the insurance payout for your work injury. I hope your disability leave goes well”. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2026, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-positive-fortune-teller/1033748/30 "2026-10-14T12:57:18Z")
“Be alert for Dame Fortune visiting you soon.” “She’ll have to knock; her daughter Miss Fortune busted the doorbell.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2026, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-positive-fortune-teller/1033748/31 "2026-10-15T04:40:07Z")
“Pretty sure you won’t die, writhing in agony, in the next three… uh, two hours.” ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2026, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-positive-fortune-teller/1033748/32 "2026-10-15T19:33:35Z")
“Medical science will eventually develop a treatment for your condition.” _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2026, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-positive-fortune-teller/1033748/33 "2026-10-16T02:10:48Z")
Your wallet will be found. Unfortunately, your cash and credit cards will not. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-not-so-positive-fortune-teller/1033748.md?page=1)