# The Nothing Post **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 29, 2002, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193 "2002-04-29T01:30:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Wearia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Wearia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wearia)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/221 "2002-07-10T05:08:54Z")
Hey guys can I come in? Guys? I saw the lights on I know theres someone in there… Guys? Are those my lawn chairs? What are you doing with my lawn chairs? Hello? I can wait out here all night if I have too. Guys? ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/222 "2002-07-10T05:18:44Z")
I still say **bleh**. ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/223 "2002-07-10T10:55:23Z")
Ow! What the…? **JBERGES** whatareyahittingmefor…lemme drive Ow! Ow! If you want to be shotgun you have really got do stop doing that. See now we are way behind - Do I have to get the feather duster?? ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/224 "2002-07-11T02:30:42Z")
Alright, **Lady Juliet** … ::Whips out his handy-dandy bartenders guide:: A midori sour? Something lighter? Maybe something simple, like a rum and coke? Something exotic? A shot of Dutch chocolate liqueur and coffee? Or just something plain? And iced tea? Entirely up to you, milady. 🙂 ::Puts down the bartender’s guide and quickly zip-ties **JBERGES** ’ arm to the car door:: That should take care of that little problem. Once we have drinks taken care of, I think we should load up on bottlerockets, and see how many people we can fit in a Jag. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![JBERGES](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ed8c4c/32.png) [@JBERGES](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBERGES)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/225 "2002-07-11T02:51:26Z")
No time for that, get in! :: Drags **Stiletto** in with his free arm:: **Ems** , floor it! It’s three on three. New Jag: **John Carter of Mars** **Lady Juliet** (driver) **Flamsterette\_X** Old Jag: **ems** (driver) **Stiletto** **JBERGES** Unless someone crawled in when I wasn’t looking, it’s only the six of us. Now hurry up and tap 'em! I’ll try to light some rockets left handed… ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/226 "2002-07-11T04:24:39Z")
What’s that strange bleepin’ noise? Sounds like a ruptured duck or somethin? Oh, I see: It’s **Hastur** hangin’ on the front bumper and goin’ “Bleh, Bleh”. Hang on, Hastur! I’m not so sure how smart it is to ride on the front bumper of a car that’s in a bumper-tag game, but you know the deal. We make our choices and we’re personally responsible for the consequences, right? Sure am gald these Jags of **ozonebaby’s** are convertibles! Lots of extra people can ride. The way **Stiletto** is fawning over **Lady Juliet** it looks like he will want to sit next to her. That’s OK, only puts four of us in two bucket seats! **Wearia** , you’ll have to sit up behind the seat and put your feet down here, on me and **Flamsterette\_X**. Yeah, you can bring those damn lawnchairs if you must. I don’t understand the fixation, but bring ‘em if you just gotta’. Lawn chairs under one arm and a bottle of Jack Daniels under the other and a box of bottle rockets squeezed between your knees…Your Scoutmaster would be proud… **JBERGES** , I don’t think you counted enough! **Gopher** and **Mudshark** wanna’ go too. Looks like a total of about ten people, at least as long as **Hastur** hangs on to the bumper. Anybody else wanna’ load up? We’ll make room! And… **JBERGES** , what _are_ you gonna’ do if **Ra’char** wakes up and wants to do something weird with the baby oil, twister game, and bottle rockets in a racing Jag that’s already got several other people in it, hummm? _That_ could get challenging! 😉 I sure do hope **ems** and **Lady Juliet** are experienced and skillful drivers. Playin’ bumper tag in a car crowded with drunks shootin’ bottle rockets and cherry bombs at each other will be a real test of driving skills. **ems** : That “yurp” on your location doesn’t imply driving in the left lane, does it? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/227 "2002-07-11T04:57:53Z")
Nothing, eh? _looks down_ I’m in! ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/228 "2002-07-11T06:31:44Z")
Well, alrighty then. ::grabs the bottle of Dutch chocolate liqueur and 2 empty champagne bottles :: Okay. Let’s roll. 😃 Hey, **JBERGES** , if you run the rockets from the bottles, they work well for launchers. No promises about whether or not you have powder burns on your face, later. But that’s what the case of tequila back at the party is for, right? **Hastur** , you obviously need another drink to wash the taste of whatever it is out of your mouth, so you can enjoy the party. [sub]::thinks about making a comment about ‘first blowjobs’ and decides against it. ::[/sub] **Wearia** , leave the chairs, would ya? It’s gonna be crowded enough. I’m sure we can find you a (relatively) comfortable place to sit. Hey, this Jag doesn’t have airbags, does it? If it does, we’re all gonna get /real/ friendly during the first round of bumper-tag. Well, is everybody loaded yet? C’mon, c’mon. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/229 "2002-07-11T15:42:10Z")
lol Sorry it took me so long but I’m here now. _revs up the car_ ready everyone? ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/230 "2002-07-11T17:29:28Z")
Second car ready! **John Carter** - I did drive on the left but I came to my senses and moved to a northern European country that drives on the right. Although to keep it interesting I can adapt back? 😃 C’mon C’mon anybody else in this car? How far are we going? ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/231 "2002-07-11T20:18:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ems \* > \*\*C’mon C’mon anybody else in this car? > How far are we going? \*\* _LOL_ That’s a silly question, **ems** …from the looks of things in this thread so far, I think we can safely assume we’re pretty much going _all the way_. 😃 [sub]or at least as far as we can get on a virtual tank of gas… 🙂 [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/232 "2002-07-11T20:29:05Z")
Yes, but how much is in this virtual tank of gas? F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/233 "2002-07-11T20:41:01Z")
Q: “How far can you go on a virtual tank of gas?” A: “How far do you want to go?” Besides. We still have **ozonebaby** ’s credit card. We can get more, if for some reason we had to. 🙂 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/234 "2002-07-11T21:34:31Z")
fantastic - I was only worried incase anyone had anything important to do you know like…um…er… you know what forget it I retract my last post 😃 so is there a limit on this credit card then- surely not? ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/235 "2002-07-11T22:03:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ems \* > \*\*so is there a limit on this credit card then- surely not? \*\* Well…I wouldn’t think so… not if **JCoM** managed to get all this booze, and everything. But offhand I would say we have two options for finding out. 1. Ask **ozonebaby**. It’s her card. She _should_ know. 😃 2. Keep using it until they tell us it’s maxed. Personally, you can take option one if you want. But option two sounds like a whole lot more fun. :):)🙂 So who are we still waiting on, anyway? It’s not like I have hours to sit here in the back of a Jag with a bottle of Dutch chocolate liqueur, 5 gross of bottle rockets, and a couple six-packs of hard cider, talking to a lovely lass with chocolate-covered bre…:smack: Never mind. I’ve got time. So, how you doin’, **ems**? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/236 "2002-07-11T22:21:26Z")
**Stiletto** - Shh don’t mention the chocolate covered bo… 😉 You know what happened last time it was mentioned the whole thing just got way out of hand Looks like **JBERGES** has disappeared so it it is just you and me baby - how you _doin’_? ---
**Author:** ![Wearia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Wearia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wearia)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/237 "2002-07-11T23:00:18Z")
_looks at lawn chairs and sheds a tear_ Goodbye my old friends. I’m off to a better life. I’m not sure where these people are taking me but I’m sure it will be a long and comical journey. Oh and \*\*John Carter \*\*, I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that many rockets that close to my crotch. But, if I must. And who is this “Jack Daniels” and why is he under my arm? ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Juliet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cc9497/32.png) [@Lady\_Juliet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Juliet)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/238 "2002-07-11T23:35:48Z")
Alright then, I guess we’re off! \*\*John Carter \*\*, I wouldn’t exactly call myself experienced but I’m sure I can handle it. Now, which one of these it the gas pedal? **Stiletto** , don’t worry about the drink. 🙂 I probably shouldn’t be driving with it anyway. And since we’ll probably have to get some of that virual gas later with **ozone’s** credit card, we might as well stock up on more food and drinks while we’re there. Come on, we wouldn’t have the card if ozone didn’t want us to use it right? Everyone ready? I’m starting the engine…last chance to pile in the car! ---
**Author:** ![JBERGES](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ed8c4c/32.png) [@JBERGES](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBERGES)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/239 "2002-07-12T01:53:57Z")
Hey, **ems**! I’m right here! I mean I’m freaking _ZIP-TIED to the door!!_ You think I left somehow? Well, no, it’s _three_ of us. :: Suddenly realizes he’s become a third wheel in a very awkward situation:: uh…uh……carry on… ::readies rockets:: Everyone else ready? 3… 2… 1… **GO!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/240 "2002-07-12T03:11:32Z")
Hold on a second. **Speaker** says he wants in.,. so do we let him in, aor do we let him watch? I guess since we’re already sort of on the go, he’ll have to watch… that is, unless one of you comes up with an alternative solution. (NOT involving hanging on the bumper like **Hastur** is doing, please…) F\_X [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193.md?page=13)