# The Nothing Post **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 29, 2002, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193 "2002-04-29T01:30:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/241 "2002-07-12T03:42:30Z")
:: grins at **ems**.:: Alright. Apparently we’re supposed to **GO** now. 😃 We definitely need to continue this conversation later, however. And I promise not to mention the chocolate covered boo…er, yeah, those… 🙂 again. :eek: **JBERGES** , don’t point the rockets that way!!! You’re liable to ricochet one and hit one of us! Am I gonna have to zip-tie your other arm? :: ducks down next to **ems** ’ ear :: [sub] by the way…do you like honey dust? [/sub] Alright. Let’s roll. 😃 ::Fires a rocket off in \*\*Hastur[/s] general direction, bouncing it off the hood of the other Jag :: ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Juliet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cc9497/32.png) [@Lady\_Juliet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Juliet)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/242 "2002-07-12T05:19:36Z")
::grabs **Speaker** , pulls him in the car and speeds off:: Well, there’s not much room Speaker, but you can manage. Sit on a lap somewhere. 😃 Hey! Hey! They’re firing at usssssssssss! Are our rockets ready? Let’s get 'em! ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/243 "2002-07-12T13:55:13Z")
Damn. She sure took off quickly. Okay **ems** , that’s your cue. Drive, babe. They’re gonna be firing back any second now, I’m sure. But it would appear as if the game of bumper-tag has _finally_\* begun. 😃 **ems** you see if you can maneuver in behind them for the first point. **JBERGES** and I will provide covering fire. :: holds on tightly in preparation for **ems** peeling out. :: Let the games begin!!! ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/244 "2002-07-12T14:00:16Z")
_hands them her credit card_ no limit because I’m not paying for it. This is John’s missing card! 🙂 By the way, I’m letting John drive. I don’t feel like it today. ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/245 "2002-07-12T14:15:09Z")
Sorry **JBERGES** after the painful slaps stopped I thought you had disappeared or someone had zippered your mouth as well 😛 **Stiletto** honey if you want me to manoevur in behind them & concentrate on driving you gotta stop whispering in my ear :giggle: ::revs engines - squeals away in cloud of dust:: 😃 P.S. What’s honey dust? ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/246 "2002-07-12T15:03:41Z")
I do not hang on the bumper. ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/247 "2002-07-12T15:34:14Z")
By the way, I am not drinking Muddy’s little concoction! No offense Muddy! ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/248 "2002-07-12T16:08:24Z")
Ummmm, Drive? Sorry, **ozonebaby** , but you know that old thing about “snooze ya’ lose”? I know they’re your cars, but **ems** and **Lady Juliet** have already called dibs on the drivin’. The Lady has a bump on her head and a drink in one hand, but she’s good to go. These little sporty Jaguar convertibles sure don’t have much seating room! Now **Speaker for the Dead** has jumped in next to Lady J. Maybe he can help her shift gears. (and stuff) o-baby, looks like you’ll just have to sit in my lap 😃 and launch the bottle rockets. Watch out for those fingers on **Flamsterette\_X**! Anything that can type 10,000 words per minute is hot! Gives us a big advantage in the bottle rocket fight, though. No need to worry about gettin’ ‘em lit! Just touch ‘em to the Flamster’s fingertips. **Wearia** : If you don’t know what to do with that bottle of Jack Daniels sippin’ whiskey, pass it down here to us. The Flamster and I know what it’s for. ;). Maybe the five of us crammed into these two bucket seats can work a few body shots in while we’re ridin’. And **Wearia** , hang on up there on the back of the seat! And watch your feet! “I do not ride on the bumper.” **Hastur** leaps from bumper of car #1 into seat of car #2, with **ems** , **Stiletto** , **Mudshark** and **JBERGES**. Looks like **ems** and **Stiletto** are doin’ somethin’ in that car with a pot full of melted chocolate. What the huh? Stomp it, Lady J.! **ems** is catchin’ up with us! Fire away with the rockets, o-baby and Wearia . Whatta’ shot! o-baby zapped a bottle rocket right into their chocolate pot. Damn, that’s a mess! Gonna take a lot of lickin’ to clean that up. Glad that’s in the other car. Here’s where we really get ‘em. \*\* _Speaker_ \*\*! Pay attention to shiftin’ gears and quit givin’ Lady J. a neck massage while she’s tryin’ to drive. And; **ozonebaby** , that _is_ your credit card. Mine have all been canceled. Let’s take another shot at ‘em. **Wearia** , aim a couple of bottle rockets at **JBERGES’** flappin’ arm. The results should be interesting. SPEAKER! Do NOT pour that “Bondage in a Bottle” stuff on **Lady Juliet**.! She’s tryin’ to drive here, Man. Flamster? o-baby? One of you ready to do some body-shots with the Jack Daniels? We’ve got a little breathin’ space right now with the Bad Guys havin’ to lick that chocolate mess up. ---
**Author:** ![Wearia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Wearia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wearia)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/249 "2002-07-12T16:55:37Z")
DIE COMMIES! _shoots a barage of rockets_ Ooo, chocolate… ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/250 "2002-07-12T18:36:06Z")
_shoots another barage of rockets_ well John if it’s not yours and it’s not mine then. . .who’s is it?? Sorry about the driving thig, I guess I need to read the posts not skim them! ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/251 "2002-07-12T19:13:41Z")
Being covered in chocolate kinda makes it difficult to drive…it’s a bit sticky in here. Do we need a clean up - I can still drive but what about the rockets? Hopefully **Speaker** & **Lady Juliet** will be distracted with “Bondage in a Bottle” so we can get revenge. Although the chocolate feels nice… ---
**Author:** ![JBERGES](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ed8c4c/32.png) [@JBERGES](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBERGES)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/252 "2002-07-12T19:42:36Z")
::takes a bottle rocket from **Wearia** in the arm:: OW! **Stiletto**! You and **ems** have time for that later! Where’s my cover?! ::fires a barrage of rockets, all directed at **Wearia** :: ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/253 "2002-07-12T20:06:39Z")
quick distract her with chocolate :splats Wearia right in the face: ---
**Author:** ![Wearia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Wearia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wearia)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/254 "2002-07-12T22:17:31Z")
Ack! There brown sugary goo on my face! _see rockets_ Ohhhhh crap. Hurry **John Carter**! Protect me with your body! _horrids cries of pain from John_ Uh oh. I’ll just hide now… ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/255 "2002-07-12T23:57:50Z")
I’m getting some ink tomorrow, yayyyy! ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/256 "2002-07-13T00:09:48Z")
:uses her powers to instantly shoot the other car with blazing tongues of fire, and laser beams : F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/257 "2002-07-13T02:27:09Z")
Hey, **Flamsterette**!!! This is supposed to be for _FUN_!!! Didn’t you promise to only use those powers for good? 😃 I think we should make a rule that we are restricted to mundane weapons here. You know. Like these lovely chocolate-covered bottle-rockets. _fires a 6-pack of rockets in the direction of the other Jag_ Hey, [ems], pull over to the curb for a minute. We can catch up…but for a bottle-rocket war, we just aren’t properly prepared. \*jumps out at the curb, grabs the lids off of the 3 metal trash-cans that are conveniently sitting there. Passes them out to **JBERGES** and **Hastur** , keeps one for himself. \* Alright. Now we’re properly prepared. Let’s keep rolling. We can stop to clean up later…though it could take quite a while. 😃 [sub]besides, **ems** you look _lovely_ in chocolate. I’ll be happy to help you clean up later. [/sub] Hey **ozonebaby** this credit card does have your name on it. [sub]_looks down at the card he has, and realizes that it says “ozonebby” across the front._[/sub]…or, um, maybe it’s just a bad forgery. Oh, well. I’m sure we can figure it out at some point _fires another 6 pack of bottle-rockets at the other Jag…Yells “FORE!” at the top of his lungs._ Good thing we still have lots of rockets. Hey, isn’t this supposed to be _bumper_ tag? Let’s go get 'em, **ems**! Floor it. [sub]And just fyi, honey dust is a creation from the kama sutra. It’s effectively a very finely powdered honey, usually brushed on with a feather brush. I’m sure you can figure out what to do with it after that. 😃 [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/258 "2002-07-13T05:59:22Z")
**JCoM** reels backwards and falls on the moving car’s trunk. “Damn, I’ve taken six direct bottle rocket hits to some mostly vital parts. And all this was to save **Wearia**! There’s only one thing that will save me now…Straight Jack Daniels mixed with chocolate! Oh yoo-hoo; Chocolate Covered **Wearia** : C’mere. Now, **ozonebaby** , slowly pour that whiskey on **Wearia**'s neck…and places. I’ll try to lick off enough of the JD/Chocolate mix to sustain life…” Meanwhile, it looks like the other Jag is gaining advantage! They’ve got those gol-danged garbage can lids on-line, and **Speaker** is gettin’ all distracted by **Lady Juliet** so he’s not shootin’ back. Somebody do somethin! No, no, NOT that! **Flamsterette\_X** , please don’t put your flaming fingers into the crate of bottle rockets! Oh, S\*\*\*! Hit the deck!:smack: ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/259 "2002-07-13T06:26:12Z")
**Stiletto** , if I ever did promise to use those powers for good, that must have been in another thread. And since it was in another thread, what was said there doesn’t have any relevance to what I say here. Yes, I know it doesn’t make sense really, but them’s the rules for now. 😛 **John Carter** , I’m dreadfully sorry, I only wanted to obey the new restrictions on mundane weapons. However, I’m sure that they do make a nice effect… just look at all of them go. Such pretty colors… wooooo. F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/260 "2002-07-13T08:05:32Z")
_lobs an open bottle of **liquid bondage** at **Flamsterette** _ Fine. You don’t wanna play nice, I won’t play nice. 🙂 :eek: Ducks quickly behind his garbage can lid, doing his best to cover **ems** as well, as over 300 bottle rockets come screaming in his direction. Damn. Okay. No more Mr. Nice Guy. 😃 I was saving this for a _more appropriate_ occasion, but hey, I’ve got another bottle. _reaches into a back pocket and pulls out a small bottle…the part of the label that the other passengers in his car can read says “concen… liquid …-rgasm”. He pops the lid and tosses it at **Flamsterette**._ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193.md?page=14)