# The Nothing Post **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 29, 2002, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193 "2002-04-29T01:30:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/281 "2002-07-14T22:23:33Z")
**Lady Juliet** : thanks. It must come from being raised by parents who were and are evil overlords of their own planet… oops, wrong thread. But seriously, I like being evil sometimes. You gotta have an outlet for all your twisted fantasies, right? 🙂 😃 **ems** , just because I didn’t describe any effects my spray had on you in my post, doesn’t mean it didn’t affect you. Got that? I have now just renewed my spray attack, concentrating on you. Since **Hastur** has said that he is reliving over and over the experience of his ex dumping him, you get to be the woman giving birth to sextuplets. But here’s an additional twist: not only are you giving birth to so many babies at once, you are doomed to relive the experience over and over! :eek: F\_X ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2002, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/282 "2002-07-15T12:46:35Z")
:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/283 "2002-07-16T04:30:19Z")
Yep… just like the movie “Groundhog Day,” only it’s just one experience you’re reliving endlessly, and you’re not looking for something you did wrong so you can go on to the next day. How do you like THAT? _grins evilly_ F\_X ---
**Author:** ![p\_cific\_812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@p\_cific\_812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/p_cific_812)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/284 "2002-07-16T04:35:22Z")
\< gratuitous padding \> ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/285 "2002-07-16T15:14:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by p@cific@812 \* > \*\*\< gratuitous padding \> \*\* Pad gratuitously, then! _ **JCoM** slowly revives, recovering from the bottle rocket hits. In a languorus mood now_ **Flamsterette\_X** , thanks for splattering a few drops of **Mudshark** ‘s Instantliquidorgasminabottle[sup]TM[/sup] on me. That did the trick, alright! 😃 I don’t think we’re gonna’ have much luck winnin’ this game of bumper tag. **Lady Juliet** hasn’t got her mind on the driving at all. It seems like **Speaker for the Dead** has been wanting to get his hands on her for years, and now he’s makin’ the most of the opportunity with that neck massage. Lady J., if you’re gonna’ drive, at least _open your eyes!_ **Nukeman** : Pass some of that Pimms to **ozonebaby** , please. The chick is gettin’ all uptight and nervous! O-baby, just because this party has wrecked your house, trashed your two Jaguars and maxed out your credit cards, there’s no reason to get tense! I mean, everybody’s havin’ a helluva good time, and nothing else matters, right? Right! **ems** , I think that The Flamster can stop the effects of that spray so that you’ll no longer continuously experience giving birth to sextuplets. Maybe if you guys would agree to stop using the garbage can lid shields, something could be worked out? OK, o-baby, get ready. As soon as they drop the shields we’ll launch three dozen bottle rockets at ‘em. **Speaker**! Can’t you stop that for just a minute and help with the bottle rocket attack? Also, if you haven’t noticed, I think our driver is swerving towards a store-front. Maybe you should kinda’ grab the wheel or somethin’? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/286 "2002-07-16T19:37:36Z")
Well, if **Speaker** won’t, I will! _grabs wheel and narrowly avoids colliding into the local 7-11_ **John** , if **ems** would stop that thing he’s doing with the garbage can lids (I personally dont’ want to know why he’s stripping), then I might be convinced to stop the effects of the spray… that is, if there is an antidote. 😃 F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/287 "2002-07-16T20:23:00Z")
_shakes himself vigorously, as if awaking from a horrible dream_ Wow. How long was I out? **That long?!?** Damn. I had this horrible dream that I was trapped in a disney film, and I was a rhino that was trying to play banjo…but what I really wanted to do was sing, and play the violin. And then suddenly everything shifted, and I was working in an artificial insemination lab for mink and ferrets…had to do horrible things with little glass tubes…and then I suddenly turned into Demi Moore, on the set of _Showgirls_…That has got to be the wierdest series of dreams I’ve _ever_ had. _dodges a flying bottle rocket_ :eek: _realizes he’s sitting on the back dash of the Jag, wearing nothing but one sock and his bikini briefs_ Apparently that was some set of dreams. _quickly pulls his pants back on, blushing slightly as he glances at **ems** …_ Alright. This means war. I tried to be nice. I tried to play fair. Now, **Flamsterette** , you’re gonna pay for that. 😃 :eek: _realizes that nobody is really driving the jag right now. Grabs the wheel as they careen past gawking pedestrians._ Whoo! That was close. _carefully moves the twitching **ems** over to the passenger’s seat, and takes over driving._ Alright. I guess first order of business is finding an antidote for this stuff. I can’t really wait around for it to wear off. _pulls off the road to look up “biochemists” in the phone book_ I’ll have to catch up with you all later. Don’t see what the big problem is with the garbage can lids…you could just as easily get your own. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![JBERGES](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ed8c4c/32.png) [@JBERGES](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBERGES)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/288 "2002-07-16T21:01:25Z")
Fine, **Stiletto**. See you later. ::takes contol of Jag again and drives off, trying to catch up to the other car:: Gee, I hope **Stiletto** knows his way home. He’s all alone, and shirtless, and with only one sock. ::looks around:: Hello? Is anyone else in this car awake?! :: pokes at **ems** and **Hastur** :: Wake up!! ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/289 "2002-07-17T03:56:47Z")
I’m not sure they _will_ wake up, personally… F\_X ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/290 "2002-07-17T06:03:23Z")
WTF!!! Where the hell am I? ---
**Author:** ![Wearia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Wearia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wearia)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/291 "2002-07-17T06:14:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ems \* > \*\*WTF!!! > > Where the hell am I? \*\* Ditto 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/292 "2002-07-17T07:42:43Z")
_pulls up next to **ems** , **Wearia** and **JBERGES** on a very black motorcycle_ Wow. You guys certainly haven’t gotten very far. I didn’t think I’d find you all this soon. _Tosses a pair of black canvas bags into the back of the Jag, then presses a button on the handlebars of the motorcycle. A red light begins blinking just below the speedometer. **Stiletto** then jumps off of the moving motorcycle into the back of the Jag. The motorcycle pulls neatly off to the side of the road, turns around, and heads back the way he came_ I _love_ that new autopilot feature. Okay. Goodies all around for everybody. _opens the first canvas bag, and takes out a small box. From the small box, he hands a small chocolate-drop to each of his fellow passengers_ Okay. A biochem friend of mine developed these. They should keep us from being _strongly_ affected by **Flamsterette** ’s spray stuff. It may still have some effect, though. So try not to get hit with too much of it. Now. I’ll finish unpacking. Let’s go catch the other Jag. We have a game of bumper tag to win, don’t we? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Juliet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cc9497/32.png) [@Lady\_Juliet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Juliet)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/293 "2002-07-17T07:43:17Z")
Alright! Alright! I’m fine, really. My composure is officially regained and I’m good to drive again. But if you wanna continue doing that **F\_X** , that’s fine with me too. Thanks for the save there too, **F\_X**. Bumper cars would be a bit difficult with a wrecked car. I’ve learned my lesson: Massages & Driving = Big No-No. I guess I tend to lose control when people play with my neck… [insert angelic smiley here] [sub](Hah, I love how **Speaker** posts only once (unless I missed something) without much relevancy to our Jaguar/bottle rocket escapades but still develops a substantial role in the thread :D) [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/294 "2002-07-19T14:44:12Z")
Bumper tag? Why has someone just fed me a chocolate drop? Why are my clothes rumpled and where is my underwear? oo no I remember that part 😃 Did I miss something? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/295 "2002-07-19T16:13:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lady Juliet \* > \*\* > [sub](Hah, I love how **Speaker** posts only once (unless I missed something) without much relevancy to our Jaguar/bottle rocket escapades but still develops a substantial role in the thread :D) [/sub] \*\* I think you have underestimated the depth of **Speaker’s** feelings for you, **Lady Juliet**. Once he got his hands on your neck, how could he post? He couldn’t force his hands to stop the massage. Now, he seems to have drifted off into some sort of private dream world. Young love does weird things to guys. 😉 **ems** , if you have issues about (or from :eek: ) something that may have happened when you weren’t in full control of your faculties, I suggest you take it up with **Stiletto**. The guy is fast and sharp! OK, Lady J., you’ve got the wheel again, and **Flamsterette\_X** and I are really gonna’ get 'em this time! F\_X, light two dozen of these bottle rockets with a single pass of your flaming fingers. We’ll blast 'em good. It seems that **ozonebaby** has gone into a state of catatonic withdrawal caused by thinking about the house, car, and credit card lossess, not to mention the loss of her sterling reputatiuon and high standing in the neighborhood. Hey, o-baby; don’t worry about it. Stuff happens, OK? We’re outnumbered here, with Speaker and o-baby both spaced out. I think we’ll be OK, though. Lady J., keep it between the white lines, F\_X’ll light it up and I’ll keep shootin’ off. (The bottle rockets! the bottle rockets!) ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/296 "2002-07-19T22:28:45Z")
Don’t you worry, **John**. I have everything under control. I’ll just let those bottle rockets and stuff fly like nobody’s business! 🙂 F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/297 "2002-07-20T01:12:30Z")
_Pulls up a chair and sits on the sidelines, minding my own business_ ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/298 "2002-07-20T01:49:34Z")
Hey, **JBERGES** , you still okay to drive? _presses a chocolate drop between **Hastur** ’s lips, in hopes that he’ll regain consciousness soon_ Hey, **John** …I wouldn’t be making comments about _me_ being fast and sharp. You’re the one who was hitting on **Wearia** earlier. 😃 :eek: _ducks under the barrage of bottle-rockets from the other Jag, doing his best to cover **ems** ’ prone body on the seat beside him._ [sub] \*whispers to **ems** “Here, I got you these. They’re silk. I really don’t know what happened to the others.” [/sub] _reaches into one of the canvas bags and pulls out a small gift box containing a pair of rather racy black silk panties_ Okay. I’m getting a little tired of getting fired on like this. _reaches into the other canvas bag, pulls out a handful of brightly colored balls with fuses. He lights a dozen of them and lobbs them into the other jag_ We’ll try a little smoke screen first, to give us a chance to get things together. And…_reaches into the bag again, retrieving a tightly sealed jar_ now for the second part of the distraction. **Flamsterette\_X** …these are for you, dear. _tosses the unsealed jar into the other Jag_ I hope you like fleas. 😃 \*pulls 6 more bricks of bottle-rockets out of the bag, and starts prepping them for fire. \* Hey, **JBERGES** , step on it, would ya? We aren’t gonna get a lot of time out of this, you know… ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/299 "2002-07-20T04:08:02Z")
This thread is a disgrace. Pure and simple padding of posts. 😃 [sup]And I got mine![/sup] ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/300 "2002-07-20T05:03:07Z")
Everybody shoot at **kniz**! He/she/it can’t even recognize a great party when he/she/it sees one. ( **JCoM** being very careful about the gender issue, since the fiasco with **Wearia**.) :o [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193.md?page=16)