# The Nothing Post **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 29, 2002, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193 "2002-04-29T01:30:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/121 "2002-05-07T07:22:26Z")
Graduation party? Hey, I want in! I’m graduating law school Friday (salutatorian)! Congrats to ya, RaCha’ar!! Cheers! ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/122 "2002-05-07T07:35:02Z")
Naked Twister! :eek: One sake martini, coming right up. That was extra dry? Hmm, how in the world do you garnish a sake martini? None of the usual suspects seem quite appropriate. **pravnik** , methods vary. The essence of a body shot (which involves, as I said earlier, salt, a shot of tequila, and a lime section) is that you use other people’s body parts to take your shot. Licking the salt off of various parts, maybe taking a shot out of a belly button or something along those lines, getting the lime section from a special area… As I’m sure you can imagine, the possibilities are virtually limitless. As long as it involves your mouth and another person, you’re in. Oh, and congratulations all around. **RaCha’ar** , **pravnik**. Let’s celebrate! That’s what we’re here for. Let me know if I can help in any way. ---
**Author:** ![RaCha\_ar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@RaCha\_ar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaCha_ar)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/123 "2002-05-07T07:37:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by White Lightning \* > \*\*As long as it involves your mouth and another person, you’re in. > \ > Let’s celebrate! That’s what we’re here for. Let me know if I can help in any way. \*\* Hmmmm. 😉 😛 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/124 "2002-05-07T07:54:37Z")
Hmmm indeed. So… **RaCha’ar** … How _you_ doin’? ---
**Author:** ![RaCha\_ar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@RaCha\_ar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaCha_ar)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/125 "2002-05-07T07:54:37Z")
:mad: 😉😛☹ :mad: 😉😛☹ :mad: 😉😛☹ :mad: 😉😛☹ :mad: 😉😛☹ :mad: 😉😛☹ :mad: 😉😛☹ Look, Twister! Hee! Left hand yellow! ---
**Author:** ![RaCha\_ar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@RaCha\_ar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaCha_ar)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/126 "2002-05-07T07:57:08Z")
::is bent over with left hand on yellow and butt stuck in the air:: Huh? Oh. Uh. I’m doin’ just fiiiiiiine. It’s really hard to act all cool while you’re the only person playing naked Twister. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/127 "2002-05-07T08:17:10Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **RaCha’ar** _ > …the only person playing Naked Twister. Well? What are you guys waiting for? Give the lady a hand! [sub]Don’t look at me… I’m back here behind the bar so I can see better. I mean, so I can _serve_ better. Serve _drinks_.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![neofishboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/neofishboy/32/444_2.png) [@neofishboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neofishboy)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/128 "2002-05-07T08:25:41Z")
(Neofishboy wanders out from the back bedroom with an armful of balled-up socks which he begins to toss rather inaccurately at RaCha’ar. Dissatisfied with the results, he staggers determinedly over to White Lightning and plants an index finger firmly on Lightning’s chest. Two utterly silent minutes pass until Neofishboy, presumably confident that his point has been made, straightens up and attempts to give White Lightning a manly Viking hug which misses by a foot causing him to bounce off the wall and slide under the kitchen table where he curls into a ball and proceeds to menace the cat…) ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/129 "2002-05-07T08:29:50Z")
Watches neofishboy- Says- Thank God I’m not the only one! ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/130 "2002-05-07T14:23:24Z")
**White Lightning**! You’re DA’MAN! Body shots; YES! But first look over there at \*\* RaCha’ar\*\*. Examine the symmetry and grace of the pose she has taken with that “left hand yellow" move. Her classic pose somehow brings thoughts of both Venus DiMilo and Mona Lisa. Look how that little droplet of excess oil has formed, glistening before it falls from…Man, that’s _erotic_! I know she wants somebody else to get into the twister game, but who would disturb such a vision? Anybody got one of them there digital cameras? OK, back to the body shots. We’ll start off a little on the tame side here and work our way up. Step right up, **ozonebaby**. Put your hands palm down on the bar, right _here_. OK, now bend over and place your forehead on the back of said hands. Good, don’t move now. Let’s get this hair out of the way. Got it. **White Lightning** , see that hollow place at the back of **ozonebaby’s** neck? Fill it with your best tequila, please sir. Now, lightly salt around the edge of the tequila pool. Liberally squirt the lemon drops right _there_, along the top of the shoulder, all the way to the place where her shoulder and neck come together. Keep on goin’ right up to the edge of the salt. Yeah, just right. Hang on, **ozonebaby** , this is gonna’ feel _good_… It seems like this has turned into a graduation party for some of you. Congratulations to all the recent and soon to be grads. **pravnik** , you’re getting your law degree? Keep on hangin’ around. The way this party’s heading, you may acquire your first clients as a result of it. ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/131 "2002-05-07T20:40:19Z")
_laughs at the body shot __feels in pocket for key_ uh oh. . .alright who stole my keys?!?!?! John, did you steal them while I had my head on my hands?! _runs to the closet door and slams her body against it__ the door opens and she sees JBERGES dancing_ GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! _slams the door shut again but not before throwing in a business card for a well known dance instructer_ whew!! _cranks up stereo and everyone starts dancing_ GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! _sees them and runs into the kitchen, shuting the door behind her but not before throwing into the air a handful of business cards from a well known dance instructer_ 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/132 "2002-05-07T20:42:04Z")
Don’t be bitter neofishboy!! ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/133 "2002-05-08T02:35:37Z")
**neofishboy** , I think there’s an opportunity here for you man; to forget the bitterness, ya’ know? Gettin’ involved in that body shot deal really has **ozonebaby** wired. I mean, the chick is runnin’ all around, lookin’ in her pockets, throwin’ cards all over the room, and now she’s run into the kitchen. Maybe you should slip in there, give her a neck massage or somethin’ ? Sort of relieve all her tension? Could do both of you a _world_ of good.😉 OK **pravnik** , what say the two of us get **JBERGES** out of that closet. I mean, if he’s gonna’ come out of the closet, what better time than at a \ _Wild Party_ ? Keep holdin’ that pose, **RaCha’ar** , I know it’s tiring, but wow, are you _ever_ doin’ wonders for the scenery here. Who’s next for the body shots? ---
**Author:** ![JBERGES](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ed8c4c/32.png) [@JBERGES](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBERGES)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/134 "2002-05-08T02:52:54Z")
No, I’m OK. I succeeded in stopping the closet door with my face before it locked again. ::Stalks to kitchen door and flings it open to find **ozonebaby** dancing:: GAAAAAAAAAaaaa…oh…wait…actually that’s pretty good, **ozonebaby**. ::exits kitchen and looks for one of the many business cards on the ground. Finds one, then bends own to pick one up:: ::double take:: ::looks back up to find himself eye to eye with **RaCha’ar** :: ::starts muttering to himself:: _oooook JBERGES…you can handle this…sh-sh-she’s not that much older than you….is she? S-s-s-s-ssso what if you’re shy and she’s n……n-n–n-n-naaa…naked. Y-y-you shhhhhould be able to start up a c-c-con…ver…c-c-conversation with this…p-p-pe-pepe-person…and…_ ::faints:: ---
**Author:** ![RaCha\_ar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@RaCha\_ar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaCha_ar)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/135 "2002-05-08T06:13:41Z")
Eek Poor thing! Don’t worry, I’ll save you! ::scrambles to give **JBERGES** naked, baby-oiled mouth-to-mouth:: Live, damn you! LIVE!!! ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/136 "2002-05-08T14:46:17Z")
Ah, ‘twould seem that **RaCha’ar** exemplifies the term “She’s a knock-out”. That boy fainted dead away just _lookin’_ at her? What’s he gonna’ do when he wakes up and finds himself in this, ummm, enviable position? ---
**Author:** ![neofishboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/neofishboy/32/444_2.png) [@neofishboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neofishboy)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/137 "2002-05-08T16:21:39Z")
Ahh…that little lie down did me all _sorts_ of good! So, I was going to ask… HOLY GOD! WHAT ARE THOSE PEOPLE DOING OVER THERE?!? … Oh, hell…hey **White Lightning** , you got any murky, unlabeled bottles hidden away under that bar? I’m feelin’ lucky… Oh, and if anyone _does_, in fact, want a shoulder rub, I have this form y’all are going to have to sign…eight years classical piano and fifteen years electric bass…I had to register these hands with the local authorities. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/138 "2002-05-08T20:35:47Z")
_laughs_ thank you, I can dance!. . .mostly. . .a little. . .a bit. . .ok so I can’t!! _picks up one of the business cards and heads off to the address_ ``` * * * ``` later that day. . . _ozonebaby walks in_ hey **RaCha’ar** , are you done with \*\* JBERGES\*\* yet? I want to teach him how to dance! ---
**Author:** ![JBERGES](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ed8c4c/32.png) [@JBERGES](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBERGES)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/139 "2002-05-09T00:51:23Z")
::comes to:: Huh? Oh man…I just had the oddest dream… And you were there… And you were there… And you were naked… And you were there… ::realizes everyone is staring at him:: Wow, I must be the life of the party! I’m making all sorts of new friends! Well c’mon! Let’s dance! [**ozonebaby**] NoooooOOOOOOOOOOoooooo!!! ::Tackles JBERGES and drags him into the kitchen for a much needed dance lesson::[/ **ozonebaby**] ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193/140 "2002-05-09T01:21:25Z")
Posted by **neofishboy** : "HOLY GOD! WHAT ARE THOSE PEOPLE DOING OVER THERE?!? " Well, it seems the body shot thingie has progressed to new levels of depravity since **ozonebaby** and I started it off. I’m really awed at what some of those people can do… Now we’ve got **JBERGES** receiving dancing lessons in the kitchen from ozonebeby, who herself couldn’t dance just a few hours ago. Who said this party was mundane and pointless? There’s a lot of educating taking place here! Neofish boy, about those registered hands; **RaCha’ar** is probably a little stiff from posing for so long. Add to that the stress of reviving JBERGES. Plus, she’s already oiled up. Go for it, guy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-nothing-post/106193.md?page=8)