# The obligatory greeting **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 20, 2004, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051 "2004-07-20T19:08:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![doomraisin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d78d45/32.png) [@doomraisin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doomraisin)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/1 "2004-07-20T19:08:09Z")
You know how Wal-Mart started it, with those greeters, then every big retail chain like that had to have them? Well, now they’re finding their way into lots of other places, and it’s getting annoying. For instance, they’re doing it at my gym. I go in, and one of the people at the front desk says “hello” in such a way that it lets you know, without a doubt, that they don’t mean it, that they’re being forced to say it, and that they feel stupid doing it. They give a similar “goodbye” on the way out. preferable not even looking up from the towel they’re folding. This puts me in an awkward position: Now I have to respond to a greeting that the greeter let me know they didn’t want to deliver in the first place. Firstly, they’re making me talk when I just wanted to go to the gym. Secondly, I have to try and find the right tone. I can’t exchange a hearty, genuine greeting because it was fake in the first place. So now I have to match their tone. I have to say “hello” back in such a way that they get “I know that wasn’t a real hello, and I know you were forced into it, which I find annoying, so I’m responding in the barest minimum way so you can save face.” I don’t feel I can just ignore it, because that would be insulting even if they didn’t mean it. Why did this even get started? No one feels extra-special after being “greeted” by somone who is forced to do it, do they? What other places have instituted this obligatory greeting? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/2 "2004-07-20T19:12:31Z")
Lord have mercy, that’s a new standard for hand-wringing. You call that being in an awkward position? Who are you, Paris Hilton? If it’s that important to you, just tell them how you feel. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/3 "2004-07-20T19:17:10Z")
> [@doomraisin](#): > > For instance, they’re doing it at my gym. I go in, and one of the people at the front desk says “hello” in such a way that it lets you know, without a doubt, that they don’t mean it, that they’re being forced to say it, and that they feel stupid doing it. They give a similar “goodbye” on the way out. preferable not even looking up from the towel they’re folding. > > This puts me in an awkward position: Now I have to respond to a greeting that the greeter let me know they didn’t want to deliver in the first place. Firstly, they’re making me talk when I just wanted to go to the gym. Secondly, I have to try and find the right tone. I can’t exchange a hearty, genuine greeting because it was fake in the first place. So now I have to match their tone. I have to say “hello” back in such a way that they get “I know that wasn’t a real hello, and I know you were forced into it, which I find annoying, so I’m responding in the barest minimum way so you can save face.” I don’t feel I can just ignore it, because that would be insulting even if they didn’t mean it. If it bothers you so much, just put on some headphones. At least at my gym, if you have on headphones none of the staff will bother you. Or, if they still greet you, you can pretend to have not heard them. ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/4 "2004-07-20T19:23:50Z")
A lot of retail shops do this now. It serves two purposes: 1. A mandatory greeting forces the sales associates to monitor the entrance and be aware of who is coming or going. Sounds trivial but it’s very easy for a sales associate to get proccupied and not notice a customer enter. Isn’t the other common shop related rant on the board something to with _not_ being noticed by a clerk? 2. It lets the customer know that he’s been noticed which is a big deterrent to potential shoplifters. I don’t mind it; I find it far preferable to the days when the clerks would actively avoid meeting your eyes. And I didn’t find it a huge hardship when I worked retail either (what I did mind was trying to force customers to take flyers, a simple greeting was no big deal). Just pretend it’s a real greeting and smile and say “howdy”. Even if the employee doesn’t like greeting people, they usually appreciate it if you’re cordial back… ---
**Author:** ![doomraisin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d78d45/32.png) [@doomraisin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doomraisin)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/5 "2004-07-20T19:41:26Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Lord have mercy, that’s a new standard for hand-wringing. You call that being in an awkward position? Who are you, Paris Hilton? If it’s that important to you, just tell them how you feel. Paris Hilton? Look, it’s a stupid practice. It’s stupid at Wal-Mart, and it’s stupid at the gym. They do it at Menard’s, a big chain hardware store. I walk in, and there’s a little customer service desk that you have to walk past, connected to a turnstile. Usually there are a couple of employees behind the desk, probably teenagers who’ve been instructed to greet every customer that walks through the door. They’ll be talking, I walk in, one of them says “…and then I told her - hi - look, you’ve got no business talking to my boyfriend and then she goes…” I have to respond to that? It’s idiotic. I’d much rather they’d say nothing - I’m just there to buy fucking masking tape. If I say nothing, I feel vaguely rude, when I shouldn’t, should I? Why force me into reciting lines in your stupid little modern-retailing play? My rant: We don’t need forced greeters. If you can’t even fake it convincingly, then don’t do it at all. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/6 "2004-07-20T19:54:25Z")
Just wave, smile, say “Fruit custard!” and walk on. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/7 "2004-07-20T19:57:53Z")
> [@doomraisin](#): > > I have to respond to that? It’s idiotic. I’d much rather they’d say nothing - I’m just there to buy fucking masking tape. If I say nothing, I feel vaguely rude, when I shouldn’t, should I? Why force me into reciting lines in your stupid little modern-retailing play? Yes, you _have_ to respond. Or the Wal-Mart police will take you away, and you’ll never get your masking tape. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/8 "2004-07-20T20:03:19Z")
I wouldn’t mind, if all the greeters were [Frank Nelson](http://www.dannythestreet.com/franknelson/). _Eeeee_-yesssss? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/9 "2004-07-20T20:04:15Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Just wave, smile, say “Fruit custard!” and walk on. Try “Soupy Twist,” just to see if anyone gets the reference. And I agree with the OP, though my being an antisocial misanthrope may be influincing my attitude somewhat. If I go into a store, I’m there to make a purchase, not to make chit-chat or a new friend. I give you money, you give me the item. The end. That said, it’s a mild annoyance at worst. I haven’t lost any sleep over it. Yet. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/10 "2004-07-20T20:05:13Z")
:: walks into thread, not greeted by **doomraisin** , looks around, walks out :: :: walks back in, greeted in a non-sincere manner (for the purposes of the experiment) by **Liberal** , looks around, walks out :: Eh, still black type on a grey background to me. I’ll at least acknowledge that I was acknowledged with a nod. Takes about 1/3 of a second to do, and I don’t have to break stride in going about my business. I don’t even notice anymore if they say anything or not. For as mind numbing as standing at the entrance of a Wal Mart for even 2 hours is, it’s got to be even much more draining to greet every single customer with the level of sincerity you seem to be looking for. Try it for yourself. Start by greeting every person you see today during your daily business in a sincere manner, and see how long it takes to slide into a grunt and nod. My guess is it won’t take too long. See you later, thank you for chosing the Straight Dope Message Board, come back again real soon. I’ve enjoyed reading your posts, and I hope you have a wonderful rest of the day. And I mean that sincerely. 😃 > [@](#): > > you’ll never get your masking tape. Oh, he’ll get his masking tape. He just won’t be taking it to the check out in the manner he assumed he would be. ---
**Author:** ![Padmaraga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f07891/32.png) [@Padmaraga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padmaraga)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/11 "2004-07-20T20:08:44Z")
Hey! Whaddaya tryin’ to do? Eliminate my "retirement plan’?!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![doomraisin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d78d45/32.png) [@doomraisin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doomraisin)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/12 "2004-07-20T20:14:37Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > I wouldn’t mind, if all the greeters were [Frank Nelson](http://www.dannythestreet.com/franknelson/). _Eeeee_-yesssss? He’d say it like “e-hel-LOOO there” or something like that. That’d be great. Frank Nelson kicks ass. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/13 "2004-07-20T20:18:23Z")
Alternatively, you can give them the phony British accent voice that made one of Jerry Seinfield’s girlfriends break up with him on his show. Mouth off to one side, huge wave with the whole arm, and “HELLOOOO!!” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Llama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a698b9/32.png) [@The\_Llama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Llama)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/14 "2004-07-20T20:21:57Z")
I wonder if the feelings on this are a regional thing. Around here (New York tri state area) most people I know hate it. Not in the sense that they want to kill anyone or even that they take it home, but just in that one-more-thing-to-annoy-you-during-your-shopping-experience. However, any time, IRL, that I’ve expressed this feeling to anyone from the south or west, they seem to look at you like, "oh my, why WOULDN’T you want people to say hi. I had to work with a Marylander who said he hated NYC because there were too many people to say “hi” to each one. He was baffled by my attitude of “I don’t want you to say hi, I just want to get where I’m going, and unless you’re on fire, don’t bother me.” Anywho, people who think that you’re anti-social because you don’t want to say hello to every single person you come in contact with won’t understand why it’s such an annoyance to have to deal with fake greeters. I do agree with **Casey1505** , though, a simple head nod takes away any feelings of being rude. If they see it, you acknowledged them. If they couldn’t keep their eyes on you long enough to have seen it, then they don’t care whether you replied or not. Win-win. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/15 "2004-07-20T20:26:19Z")
> [@tremorviolet](#): > > A lot of retail shops do this now. It serves two purposes: > > 1. A mandatory greeting forces the sales associates to monitor the entrance and be aware of who is coming or going. Sounds trivial but it’s very easy for a sales associate to get proccupied and not notice a customer enter. Isn’t the other common shop related rant on the board something to with _not_ being noticed by a clerk? > > 2. It lets the customer know that he’s been noticed which is a big deterrent to potential shoplifters. > > I don’t mind it; I find it far preferable to the days when the clerks would actively avoid meeting your eyes. And I didn’t find it a huge hardship when I worked retail either (what I did mind was trying to force customers to take flyers, a simple greeting was no big deal). Just pretend it’s a real greeting and smile and say “howdy”. Even if the employee doesn’t like greeting people, they usually appreciate it if you’re cordial back… Heck, this isn’t something new…I remember being instructed to do this back in 1980 or so, when I worked in a couple of retail positions. So it’s been going on for AT LEAST a quarter of a century. The reason store managers and owners make a big deal of it is because it really does cut down on the shoplifting. I would argue that this would be less effective in a big box store like Wal-Mart, but I guess they think it’s worth it. Personally, I just nod most of the time. Sometimes I say hi back, but generally I just keep moving. ---
**Author:** ![doomraisin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d78d45/32.png) [@doomraisin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doomraisin)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/16 "2004-07-20T20:26:42Z")
> [@Casey1505](#): > > I’ll at least acknowledge that I was acknowledged with a nod. Takes about 1/3 of a second to do, and I don’t have to break stride in going about my business. I don’t even notice anymore if they say anything or not. For as mind numbing as standing at the entrance of a Wal Mart for even 2 hours is, it’s got to be even much more draining to greet every single customer with the level of sincerity you seem to be looking for. I like your idea about the nod. The nod could work. I’m going to employ the nod the very next time this happens. After all, maybe I’ve got laryngitis - what do they know? > [@Casey1505](#): > > Try it for yourself. Start by greeting every person you see today during your daily business in a sincere manner, and see how long it takes to slide into a grunt and nod. My guess is it won’t take too long. Right, which is why I think it’s stupid and I feel bad for those people forced to do it. It’s like I’m an accomplice in their humilation. ---
**Author:** ![Winnie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e480ec/32.png) [@Winnie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnie)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/17 "2004-07-20T20:33:57Z")
A slight hijack from the OP, but my bank has started doing unnecessary greetings in the drive-thru lane. Last weekend I pulled up to the drive through to just cash a birthday check. It’s safe to assume that most people who are using the drive through are doing things like cashing checks, making deposits, etc. and already know what to do with their transaction. I pulled up to the little pneumatic tube and start to open it to put in my check and driver’s license, and a voice comes through the speaker saying “Hi, welcome to Bank of Insincerity, how can we help you today?” I was so confused I didn’t say a word and pretended I didn’t hear them. How are you supposed to answer that? ---
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/18 "2004-07-20T20:34:50Z")
I saw this thread on the front page with “ **Lynn Bodoni** ” under it. I was kind of disappointed to find that it wasn’t a newbie saying “Hi! I’m [whoever] and it’s great to be here on the board!” and then **Lynn** closing it. But since I’m here, yeah. I even get mildly annoyed sometimes when they ask you if you need any help. I think I’m just paranoid, and I don’t want to waste their time if I don’t need help. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/19 "2004-07-20T20:47:26Z")
> [@doomraisin](#): > > I like your idea about the nod. The nod could work. I’m going to employ the nod the very next time this happens. For some reason, my cover is that I don’t speak English so I don’t know what they’ve said to me. I’ve never thought it far enough through to actually know what to say in another language if called on it. Greeter: Hello, how are you today? Me: (nods) Greeter (chasing after me): Hey, I asked you a question, fucknugget! Me: (nods) Uh, no habla Espanol? Greeter: Your ass is grass, and I’m the lawnmower, pal. (begins pummeling me about the head and face…) I should have paid more attention in German class back in high school. I’m sorry, Miss Priolo… ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/20 "2004-07-20T21:01:36Z")
> [@Winnie](#): > > A slight hijack from the OP, but my bank has started doing unnecessary greetings in the drive-thru lane. Last weekend I pulled up to the drive through to just cash a birthday check. It’s safe to assume that most people who are using the drive through are doing things like cashing checks, making deposits, etc. and already know what to do with their transaction. I pulled up to the little pneumatic tube and start to open it to put in my check and driver’s license, and a voice comes through the speaker saying “Hi, welcome to Bank of Insincerity, how can we help you today?” I was so confused I didn’t say a word and pretended I didn’t hear them. How are you supposed to answer that? BoI Teller: Hi, welcome to Bank of Insincerity, how can we help you today? Winnie: Hi. I’d like to deposit this check, please. (Chuncka-chunka of the pneumatic tube) BoI Teller: Certainly. Here’s your reciept. Thank you, have a nice day. (Chuncka-chunka of the pneumatic tube) Winnie: Thank you, good-bye. That’s not so hard, is it? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051.md?page=2)