# The obligatory greeting **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 20, 2004, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051 "2004-07-20T19:08:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Winnie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e480ec/32.png) [@Winnie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnie)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/21 "2004-07-20T21:17:35Z")
> [@Maus Magill](#): > > That’s not so hard, is it? No, not even remotely. But the thing I like about drive-through is the minimal human contact/interaction. I just want to cash the check and go. It’s more of a “me” issue, I realize, but I’ve never been asked “How can I help you” at the bank drive through before. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/22 "2004-07-20T22:58:04Z")
The employees of my store got letters in our mailboxes today informing us that if we do not greet every customer in the store within 30 seconds of their entry we will be written up. We were given a list of approved phrases, which include “Hi,” “Hello,” “How are you today?” and “Good (morning/afternoon/evening).” We were also given a list of things we are NOT allowed to say to the customer, including “How can I help you today?” and “What can I do for you?” ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/23 "2004-07-20T23:14:14Z")
Greeter: Hello, sir- Me: AAAAGH! You STARTLED ME! Greeter: I just wanted to welcome you- Me: You shouldn’t DO THAT to people! Greeter: I’m sorry, but- Me: I am walking out now. When I come in again, I expect to be ignored completely. Otherwise, I might have to press charges. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/24 "2004-07-20T23:15:26Z")
Well , I remember the time I went to Best Buy and the person said to me “Welcome to Best Buy” and I nodded and then completely forgot why I was there. I wandered around the store for days and days. Eventually, some of the employees kind of adopted me, leaving cheeseburgers and bowls of ginger ale out for me and even gave me the name “JayBee” since they first found me pawing some JBL speakers. Finally, one of the employees recognized me from a ‘missing’ flyer that my roommate had posted and returned me. The funny thing is I had gone there to get buy some ink for my printer…the same printer my roommate had used to make the original ‘Missing’ flyer! How’s that for ironical irony? ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/25 "2004-07-20T23:17:55Z")
I thought this was going to be about something slightly different (and was thinking about posting a slight pit thread about). I don’t mind the greetings, what bugs me at walmart is that they don’t just say “hi” or “hello welcome to walmart”. The ones at ‘our" walmart have to make it a damn dialogue. "Hi, welcome to walmart…Oh, y’all lookin’ at the strawberries?? Good choice, you goin’ shoppin’ now? you have fun…blah blah blah". Ive gotten to the point where I sneak in behind another “victim” and sneak on by. Or nod and smile while carefully not looking at them, so as not to get drawn into some weird walmartian monologue. And yes, I know that it’s _my_ problem that I feel as if not to answer and talk to them would be rude. ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/26 "2004-07-20T23:20:40Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Alternatively, you can give them the phony British accent voice that made one of Jerry Seinfield’s girlfriends break up with him on his show. > > Mouth off to one side, huge wave with the whole arm, and “HELLOOOO!!” I’ve started doing this. Effective now. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/27 "2004-07-20T23:24:09Z")
I despise how they open the door for you at Applebee’s. On the way in: I’m walking toward the door. The door opens. Years of social training tell me: someone is coming out the door. I step aside and yeild the right-of-way. Then I realize the person opening the door is not an exiting customer, it’s someone in an Applebee’s uniform, just standing there. For a moment, confusion reigns. Then I realize I have to squeeze in past the door-holding-open-person. Fabulous. This truly enhances my before-dining experience in new and exciting ways. On the way out: I’m headed for the door. As far as I can tell, both my arms work and I am in a state of full able-to-open-the-door-myself-ness. Suddenly the door-holding-open-person barges ahead of me and opens the door before I can get there. Thank you. Thank you very much. Your services are deeply appreciated. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/28 "2004-07-20T23:32:44Z")
It’s a sad, sad world when not only do we need to require employees to be polite, but the customers don’t like it. Oh well. I guess we can always just grunt and hoot at each other. Maybe wave some rotting antelope limbs, pound on some rocks, shit in the corner… ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/29 "2004-07-20T23:56:59Z")
> [@](#): > > I despise how they open the door for you at Applebee’s. I don’t go to Applebee’s (they lead me through the smoking section in order to get to the nonsmoking section on my first and only visit) but a local steakhouse does this, too. I rather like it, but then, I have difficulty walking, and have to use a stick to get around. If I didn’t have physical problems, it would probably irritate me. However, as a Gimpy American, I appreciate it, though it is rather disconcerting at first. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/30 "2004-07-20T23:58:27Z")
> [@SPOOFE](#): > > Oh well. I guess we can always just grunt and hoot at each other. Maybe wave some rotting antelope limbs, pound on some rocks, shit in the corner… Ah, so you’ve been to Applebee’s, then? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/31 "2004-07-21T11:08:08Z")
> [@Winnie](#): > > No, not even remotely. But the thing I like about drive-through is the minimal human contact/interaction. I just want to cash the check and go. It’s more of a “me” issue, I realize, but I’ve never been asked “How can I help you” at the bank drive through before. Okay, how 'bout: Teller: Hi! How may I help you? You: I do not desire to hear a human voice. That’s why I came to the ATM. Teller: But, this isn’t the ATM. This is the drive-through. You: Is it not enough embarrassment and humiliation that I have to hear a human voice? Must you pile woe on top of misery? Teller: I’m sorry, Ma’am, do you care to make a deposit? You: Look. If I’d wanted financial advice, I’d have gone to a bank. Teller: But, this IS a… You: Shut up, you vaccuous whore! I know where I am. Did you know that there are cars behind me? Have you no consideration for others? While you’re wasting all this time jabbering at me, there are other people who would like to do some banking. You certainly have a lot of nerve with your pretentious greeting and your smug statements of fact. […horn blows behind you…] Teller: Here is your receipt, ma’am. You: Receipt??!! If I’d wanted a receipt, I would’ve gone to Wal-Mart. Teller: Thank you. You: Thank me!!! If I’d wanted thanks, I would have… […sound of crunching metal, stuck car horn, irrate cursing as your car lurches forward…] You: Fucking bitch. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/32 "2004-07-21T11:17:46Z")
Good greif, I sooooo hope greeters don’t spread like Mc’Ds and coke. I hate it when the shop person says “can I help you?” let alone anything else! I’m kinda shy and loathe (clothes especially) shopping…best way to sell me anything is to stay WAY THE FUCK WAY FROM ME. Greet me and I will leave. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/33 "2004-07-21T12:20:51Z")
The whole greeter thing used to bother me, but then I am a socially anxious person. I understand why it’s done, and being greeted is a lot more pleasent than a pat-down when you leave. Now, whenever I go into a store and am greeted, I just grunt “Hey, there,” back and go on my merry way. I don’t make eye contact, I don’t even pause in my step. Know what? I’ve never been stopped by the greeter and beaten senseless for being impolite. Maybe I’m just not doing it right. ---
**Author:** ![Andros\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Andros\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andros_X)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/34 "2004-07-21T12:54:11Z")
> [@Winnie](#): > > A slight hijack from the OP, but my bank has started doing unnecessary greetings in the drive-thru lane. Last weekend I pulled up to the drive through to just cash a birthday check. It’s safe to assume that most people who are using the drive through are doing things like cashing checks, making deposits, etc. and already know what to do with their transaction. I pulled up to the little pneumatic tube and start to open it to put in my check and driver’s license, and a voice comes through the speaker saying “Hi, welcome to Bank of Insincerity, how can we help you today?” I was so confused I didn’t say a word and pretended I didn’t hear them. How are you supposed to answer that? Like this: “Yes, I’d like two cheeseburgers, a large side of onion rings, and a chocolate milkshake to go, please.” Honestly, though, people, what’s wrong with people being polite nowadays? Is it going to kill you to listen to someone say hi to you as you enter? Nobody feels special if someone says hi to them anyway, no matter who’s greeting you. So let them have it. It makes them look nicer, it reduces shoplifting\*, and it lets Wal-Mart hire more disabled people. \*Although I think a really big guy stationed in the greeter’s spot with a 12-gauge would do a better job of reducing shoplifting. ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/35 "2004-07-21T13:20:53Z")
> [@Winnie](#): > > A slight hijack from the OP, but my bank has started doing unnecessary greetings in the drive-thru lane. Last weekend I pulled up to the drive through to just cash a birthday check. It’s safe to assume that most people who are using the drive through are doing things like cashing checks, making deposits, etc. and already know what to do with their transaction. I pulled up to the little pneumatic tube and start to open it to put in my check and driver’s license, and a voice comes through the speaker saying “Hi, welcome to Bank of Insincerity, how can we help you today?” I was so confused I didn’t say a word and pretended I didn’t hear them. How are you supposed to answer that? At least they’re not wasting more of your time by suggestive-selling, like they do at fast food restaurants. Imagine what it would be like if they said, “Welcome to ABC Bank. We are currently offering home equity loans at our lowest rates in years! Would you like to take out a home equity loan with us today?” What gripes me is when I go to a fast food place and they try to sell me on something I’m likely not interested in ordering. I usually know what I want when I get there, and even if I have to take a moment to decide (which I avoid doing for the courtesy of the people in line behind me) offering a manager-enforced suggestion isn’t going to help me. All this does is waste time. Consider that this exchange takes an extra ten seconds or so (including the customer’s feedback, which may include some hemming and hawing before he decides). Now multiply this ten seconds over the course of a business day. Hundreds of cars come through in a day, so after 360 customers have been asked if they’d like to try the new Lo-Carbecue Burger (or something just as lame) and then asked if they want fries or the combo meal, then a whole hour has been lost to this useless dialog. When I worked in fast food, speed of service was of utmost importance, so it always pissed me off, as a worker, when the management defeated this goal by making us say unnecessary things to the customers. Another greeter rant I have: I hate the ones who hand you flyers or advertisements as you enter. If they manage to get me to take one chances are it’s going to get maybe 5 seconds of my attention before I dispose of it in the next trash receptacle. I also hate it when I go to Applebee’s or some other restaurant and someone opens the door for me when I am perfectly capable of doing it myself. I sure hope these people don’t expect to receive a tip since I’ve never bothered to give them one, and I don’t feel they deserve it, either (this is why I’d be reluctant to stay in a hotel where people do simple things for you just so they’ll get tips). ---
**Author:** ![look\_ninjas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/36 "2004-07-21T13:39:17Z")
See, here’s the problem for those of us who work in retail. On the one hand, there’s the people who don’t want you to even look at them, let alone greet them. On the other hand, there are the ones that will do their damnedest to get you fired if you aren’t following them around, carrying their purchases and kissing their asses. Now I’m shy myself, and I understand the social awkwardness of the forced greeting. On the other hand, I don’t want a parade of pissed-off diva types hassling my boss over the shitty service at the store. So you’ll have to pardon my greeting you with a (hopefully sincere) “Hello.” If you don’t like it, ignore me and keep shopping. It’s not going to hurt my feelings. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Llama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a698b9/32.png) [@The\_Llama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Llama)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/37 "2004-07-21T14:56:21Z")
**Ninjas** don’t you think it would look cooler if you had another exclamation mark after the word ninjas? like this: look!ninjas! not that the other doesn’t work, but I think you should be just as excited about the ninjas as you are about looking. I now return you to your regularly scheduled thread. ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/38 "2004-07-21T15:53:01Z")
> [@dwc1970](#): > > At least they’re not wasting more of your time by suggestive-selling, like they do at fast food restaurants. Imagine what it would be like if they said, “Welcome to ABC Bank. We are currently offering home equity loans at our lowest rates in years! Would you like to take out a home equity loan with us today?” My bank (Bank America) does this! I was in the drive through the other day and the teller started going on about savings accounts and would I be interested, and I said “sure” because I figured it would be faster and they could just mail me some info from my address on file. But, no, she then asks me for an email address or phone number. In the drive through! Sheeesh… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/39 "2004-07-21T16:40:37Z")
No suggestive selling at banks? Tellers at my bank have been known to look at the balance of my savings account and recommend that I set up an appointment with their new savings advisor to figure out how I could get a higher interest rate. (Note: there is more than $10 K in my savings account. That’s the way I like it. I’m too lazy to mess about with CDs or something else. Besides, the money in my savings account isn’t really “mine”. Sorry, the explanation for that is not something I’m going to share on a message board.) ---
**Author:** ![look\_ninjas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051/40 "2004-07-21T23:23:20Z")
> [@The\_Llama](#): > > **Ninjas** don’t you think it would look cooler if you had another exclamation mark after the word ninjas? Technically, it ought to be **Look! Ninjas!** But I stuck the exclamation point in the middle thinking that this, like most other boards, didn’t allow any sort of punctuation at all. When I found out I was wrong, I didn’t realize I could ask a mod to change my name. By the time I figured that out, I’d gotten attached to that lone exclamation point. And so it shall stay, until such time as I get sick of it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-obligatory-greeting/256051.md?page=3)