# The Occupational Hazard Haiku Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 7, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586 "2003-05-07T04:00:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/1 "2003-05-07T04:00:55Z")
Another walk-in. Hello, naked crazy guy. Please don’t breathe on me. - **MineFujiko** , civil service worker Based on a real incident? You betcha! Please submit yours! ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/2 "2003-05-07T04:28:20Z")
Garlicky spring air fishy odor may bring death immediately ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/3 "2003-05-07T04:35:31Z")
Wish I had a job. Maybe rob bank tomorrow. That would not be good. ---
**Author:** ![Aankh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@Aankh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aankh)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/4 "2003-05-07T04:38:13Z")
Journal articles. So sick of reading them all. Brain explodes - much goo. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/5 "2003-05-07T05:08:49Z")
Working late nights is So hard on one’s social life. At least I sleep in. ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/6 "2003-05-07T05:22:37Z")
Black powder cannon. Archaic death, squat and black Did you swab after that last round? ---
**Author:** ![Zenham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a5b964/32.png) [@Zenham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenham)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/7 "2003-05-07T05:34:46Z")
Blinky lights, yellow, green All except for that red one… Crossover cable. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/8 "2003-05-07T06:09:02Z")
Job search infinite. Defect insurmountable. How old is too old? ---
**Author:** ![IDemandBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a88e57/32.png) [@IDemandBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IDemandBeer)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/9 "2003-05-07T06:13:21Z")
* * * ## Damn, just got laid-off But I have a plethora of beer so HA-HA! * * * ## You think it’s funny? My discomfort pleases you? Wear MY shoes, bastard. * * * A pink slip, ah yes You so love these, don’t you fool? You are fucked, asshole. That slip, like the one I saw in your office, yes? Oh, do you deny? Were those NOT her legs Across your shoulders that day? No “Romp On The Desk”? Liar. Be a man. You fucked your way to the top. Ah, but be careful: Eyes and Ears abound You are not invisible, my friend Justice comes for you When you feel secure Look again fool; you are watched Your enemies abide Your last sight shall be Me, smiling mirthlessly at Your cooling body. Well unless, of course, You decide to pay me that Severance Package. * * * –IDB ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/10 "2003-05-07T06:14:43Z")
A cathode ray tube Produces radiation. I’ll soon have cancer. ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/11 "2003-05-07T11:42:35Z")
I can’t beleive that **Exgineer** , The Lord of Haiku hasn’t made it in here yet. Here’s a couple based on work related stuff that happened to me: Computer is dead? Ah, you tried to clean off files. With Windex? You idiot! The fire alarm screams Riotous cacophony Who microwaves forks? No I don’t think that Your computer has been hacked Your husband likes porn ---
**Author:** ![Armilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e19b73/32.png) [@Armilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Armilla)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/12 "2003-05-07T11:47:28Z")
Folorn subroutine. Your function has been taken. Now you bloat the build. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/13 "2003-05-07T11:50:21Z")
Whiny accountants Vendor never calls me back Middlewoman woes - **Gazelle** , vendor-user liaison ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/14 "2003-05-07T11:50:50Z")
Tourists in the parks. Too much sun, not much sunscreen Crispy red lobsters Forty-inch child Is not tall enough for ride Please don’t scream at me. Tourists stand in line Ninety-minute wait for ride Please don’t scream at me. Not drinking water Another tourist passed out Call health services Characters in suits Children crying in terror Big heads frighten them. Six-dollar hotdog Eaten before spinning ride Hurled onto sidewalk Tourists ask questions. “When’s the three o’clock parade?” Classic. Ha. Ha. Ha. “Ninety minute wait From this point.” And that is just For the ladies’ room. Crying, tired child. “You will have fun and like it!” Parent screams at child. Smiling through the stress. And the really low wages. I still love my job. I have insurance And my paychecks do not bounce. I really love my job. ---
**Author:** ![ddaug4uf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@ddaug4uf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddaug4uf)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/15 "2003-05-07T12:00:27Z")
Your computer’s broke? Your friend says hard drive’s bad? Why don’t he fix it? “My Documents” gone? Important stuff is no more? Too late to backup! Don’t curse at me sir! Yelling will get you nowhere. Just type Format C. Haikus of the disgruntled phone tech support employee. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/16 "2003-05-07T13:27:28Z")
You want DSL No digital RT there sing for it, sucker Packetized data ATM is not for voice use TDM, fool Area code exhausted no numbers left for you guys Don’t bother applying 10 digit dialing actually means eleven who taught you to dial? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/17 "2003-05-07T13:35:09Z")
Can’t change to d: drive? How are you spelling “colon”? C-O-L-I-N. :smack: It worked yesterday, but it doesn’t work today. Windows is like that. ---
**Author:** ![TeleTronOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4af34b/32.png) [@TeleTronOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeleTronOne)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/18 "2003-05-07T13:59:54Z")
Drab office, no sun Job is sucking will to live My brain is Jell-O ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/19 "2003-05-07T14:01:31Z")
five, seven, then five. It’s simple to remember. Guess I done forgot. Lost credit card slip Finance Officer’s rage is Disproportionate. Ottawa Boss comes. All prepared–Jeep wheels sparkling! Incease our budget? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/20 "2003-05-07T14:16:37Z")
Clean up in breakroom Who barfed all over the room Hate cleaning up barf! You must be at work And on time everyday If you want this job. Because it’s the rule That’s why we do it that way Learn to live with it! Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch I hear bitching all day long I hate being boss! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586.md?page=2)