# The Occupational Hazard Haiku Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 7, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586 "2003-05-07T04:00:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/21 "2003-05-07T14:17:27Z")
Animal shelters are so sad, I adopted seventeen puppies. Two months after her cat ran away, she asks me, “Is my Fluffy here?” Two pigs (cruelty case) at the shelter STINK, and scream like, well, stuck pigs. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/22 "2003-05-07T14:48:20Z")
Department of En- vironmental Management How may I help you? “My neighbor won’t mow his yard. Can you come arrest him?” No, you idjit. “What do I do with my leftover paint and crap?” Why’d you buy too much? “I don’t like my job - so the building made me sick.” Stop wasting my time. “I didn’t know my son was dumping behind my barn.” So? Clean it up! ---
**Author:** ![zimmdogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/d6d6ee/32.png) [@zimmdogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zimmdogg)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/23 "2003-05-07T15:15:25Z")
They are just children. I may not kill the stupid. Go evolution. **zimmdogg** , high school teacher ---
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/24 "2003-05-07T15:17:06Z")
Boy this thread is unexpectedly funny. Shouldn’t it be in Cafe Society? ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/25 "2003-05-07T15:46:19Z")
Innumerable changes to the new design give me a headache ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/26 "2003-05-07T15:48:03Z")
write forty-word blurbs today, tomorrow, the next ad nauseum; gaaaaaak. softball book questions make for an inoffensive interview. Swing, Batter! Reading crappy books day in, day out, sure makes me cranky at book club I’m sorry authors Just because you worked so hard doesn’t mean its good Theodore Sturgeon was right: 90% of everything is crap \ -works in marketing department of major book retailer ---
**Author:** ![Cowgirl\_Jules](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@Cowgirl\_Jules](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cowgirl_Jules)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/27 "2003-05-07T15:53:51Z")
Flies in my office. Who leaves door open now? Smash flies all day long. Nothing to do here. No yellow machines anymore. Fall asleep in chair ---
**Author:** ![jweb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@jweb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jweb)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/28 "2003-05-07T16:12:51Z")
Unpaid Overtime is the bane of existance but we get pizza ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/29 "2003-05-07T16:29:43Z")
reading Straight Dope threads footsteps in the corridor switch to Explorer ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/30 "2003-05-07T16:31:06Z")
Put that down and leave You can not design anything You are a lawyer I hate accountants But they hate me too, so there They are still big jerks ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/31 "2003-05-07T17:07:32Z")
I hang the lights high I hang the lights way down low Then I plug them in Forty hour week Is unheard of in theatre Eighty hours? Sure. OSHA can’t see me Up high with no safety belt Risky jobs are fun Fell off a ladder Fell out of a Genie lift Concussions are fun Some days are boring Other days are not at all Isn’t theatre grand? Actors whine too much Crew whines about the actors I listen to all Who can I whine to? My bottle of Glenlivet Is here to listen I should stop now and Pretend to be working on The next silly show ---
**Author:** ![The\_Composer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/898d66/32.png) [@The\_Composer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Composer)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/32 "2003-05-07T17:38:08Z")
Your Windows has crashed I am the Blue Screen of Death No one hears your screams **Not original, but one of my favorites 😃** ---
**Author:** ![Tabithina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f04885/32.png) [@Tabithina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabithina)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/33 "2003-05-07T17:51:25Z")
Drive-thru trainee asks: “Want fudge sundae on your nuts?” Whoops! I said that wrong! [sub] Yep. I actually said that to a customer years ago when I worked at a McDonald’s[/sub]:o ---
**Author:** ![meow\_meow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@meow\_meow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meow_meow)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/34 "2003-05-07T18:00:03Z")
that last glass of wine at the faculty party no tenure for me ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/35 "2003-05-07T18:07:26Z")
Gloves, suit, mask and bug The monkey smell fills my lungs A vacation please? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/36 "2003-05-07T18:28:59Z")
Hey everyone, thanks for all the great submissions! I now have iced tea all over my keyboard! =============================== More from the civil service worker: “State of Hawaii Department of [so-and-so], How can I help you?” The caller mumbles, “My name’s Officer Lono. Let me talk to [blah].” Not hearing him well, I say, “Officer Lolo?” “LO-NO!” he screams back. LONO is a fine Hawaiian name; however LOLO means “moron.” :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Nangleator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e19adc/32.png) [@Nangleator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nangleator)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/37 "2003-05-07T18:48:23Z")
Graphic design & digital art. If it’s on the web, I can’t print it ten by twelve. That’s 8 DPI. I know you think so. Looks good on your monitor. It will print like shit. This just won’t work here. Yeah, can you say, ‘mosaic?’ “Print it anyway!” ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/38 "2003-05-07T19:44:07Z")
“…pairing down patients…” “…new studies with baited breath.” I have a headache. “Asymptotic” means: “wasting away to nothing” ASYMPTOMATIC! I know these things yet “there” not my mother tongue. You make the big bucks. ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/39 "2003-05-07T21:01:27Z")
We told him not to. He can clean it up himself. It _was_ tempting fate. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/40 "2003-05-07T21:14:55Z")
You call for an ambulance Because the bus is late. I don’t think so. Francesca, ambulance worker. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586.md?page=3)