# The Occupational Hazard Haiku Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 7, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586 "2003-05-07T04:00:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/41 "2003-05-07T21:24:52Z")
When I ask how big a JPEG is, don’t hold a ruler to your screen. Norway office can’t access the intranet site. Worked last week. Why now? Boss wrote inane verse For company’s Christmas card. Everyone loves it. Voicemail light blinking. Enter password. Press 11. Hang-up call, damn it. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/42 "2003-05-07T23:01:47Z")
I hate the users Crashing my Unix servers Lost password again? Can’t get A-O-L? We blocked from all, the chat rooms Use it at home, fool. Your paper is blank The feeder ate your report We don’t do toner. Paged at three AM ATMs have gone off-line I’m groggy - what’s cash? My sig line here Tells a frightful tale of woe Cancelled my time off. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/43 "2003-05-07T23:53:50Z")
> [@](#): > > User comes to my desk and says: I just typed in **rm -rf ./.** \* Was that wrong? Umm…Why is your face turning purple? **gotpasswords** , oh my. Please forgive my ignorance. Explain why this is bad? **screech-owl** wants to know (Haiku not necessary) I am not a geek. ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/44 "2003-05-08T00:14:07Z")
From my current job at a Mexican restaurant: Cheese dip is so hot Styrofoam cup slips - oh no! Hand is now on fire Lady on the phone Not my fault your order’s wrong So don’t yell at me. Loogie on a plate Customer wants a refund This place is nasty My summer job working for the tech dept. cleaning/fixing school computers: Scary janitor I do not want those cookies You found in the trash Not as funny as some I’ve red so far, but they’re all true! ---
**Author:** ![Cleophus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e57/32.png) [@Cleophus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cleophus)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/45 "2003-05-08T00:31:51Z")
Spilled film chemicals “It’s fine, they’re water soluble” So is sulfuric acid ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/46 "2003-05-08T00:34:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aasna \* > \*\*Journal articles. > So sick of reading them all. > Brain explodes - much goo. \*\* Are you by any chance a grad student? 😉 I am… _Troilus and Criseyde_ is too big a subject for seven-page papers. “This is great!” says prof. You should think so, since it’s what you told me to do. I should get out more. Someone on TV said “quaint,” and it made me flinch. That might bear explaining: _queynte_ was a pretty dirty word in Middle English. You can probably guess the modern equivalent. ---
**Author:** ![beckwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@beckwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beckwall)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/47 "2003-05-08T00:44:16Z")
Oh my, Medicare Hospital discharge so quick Home health nurse is God Drive from A to B Soon, it will be much too hot To work from your car Quick! Hide the pager And turn off the damn cell phone One more patient??? Sure Day’s end, I forget How many rolls of Kerlix Did I wrap today? Job ninety % good (cheating, yes I know) And the rest of the time, well, Unbelievable Because of HIPA Cannot divulge secrets of What I really do (HIPA = Health Information Protection Act) ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/48 "2003-05-08T04:57:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by screech-owl \* > \*\ ***gotpasswords** , oh my. > Please forgive my ignorance. > Explain why this is bad? > > **screech-owl** wants to know > (Haiku not necessary) > I am not a geek. \*\* It’s a Unix thing that means “erase everything without asking.” “rm” is the Unix remove (delete) command. -rf means “don’t ask for confirmation” (this can vary, depending one what particular flavor of unix you’re using) and ./.\* means all files and all subdirectories. In DOS, the equivalent would be del _._ /s /q If someone enters that command from a server’s root, it will delete the entire contents of the disk and make you start looking for the backup tapes and praying they’re current. ---
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/49 "2003-05-08T11:16:20Z")
Please don’t bite me, dog; I’m here to help, not hurt you. _CHOMP_- my arm bones shatter. I stayed up all night. Your cow calved in a mudhole: Now, you won’t pay. Sheesh. Why didn’t you tell me this dog has mange and ringworm before I touched her?? -tales of a (student) Vet. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/50 "2003-05-08T11:27:01Z")
…It’s a Unix thing… Thank you for clarifying. Feeling geeky now! ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/51 "2003-05-08T13:17:57Z")
Tell me your problems No, really, I’m listening I just look asleep ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/52 "2003-05-08T13:32:06Z")
Interminable meetings that don’t accomplish anything productive These are fun! ---
**Author:** ![longjohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@longjohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/longjohn)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/53 "2003-05-08T13:47:44Z")
scope changed yet again? There’s a hell for folk like you. I’ll start updating That’s it. I can’t be bothered to even try to look like I’m working ---
**Author:** ![mmm.forbidden\_doughnut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e68b1a/32.png) [@mmm.forbidden\_doughnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmm.forbidden_doughnut)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/54 "2003-05-08T14:14:41Z")
No one cares about nouns. Eleven days of school left. Get it over with. High school kids’ poems: There’s no Poe or Shakespeare here. Bad poetry lives. Matt loves Stephanie. It’s written on the front-row desk Under the boob sketch. ---
**Author:** ![BitterBetty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@BitterBetty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BitterBetty)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/55 "2003-05-08T14:59:01Z")
Boss cranky women Run out of building screaming I despise my job ---
**Author:** ![pierre72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b2d939/32.png) [@pierre72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pierre72)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/56 "2003-05-08T15:02:11Z")
Spend all day reading Dopers cleverer than I. Should get proper job. Then try to be wise And increase my poor post count With erudite words Trouble seems to be I find it hard to Remember how many syllables should go in the last line of a haiku. ---
**Author:** ![Sassafras](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@Sassafras](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassafras)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/57 "2003-05-08T15:05:46Z")
Can’t do my own work Have to send bills for copays Due day of service I spend my days Fixing idiots’ mistakes My co-workers suck ( and for the record, I may share an office with **BitterBetty** but I dont ever give her any trouble 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/58 "2003-05-08T16:24:08Z")
Your network is down? The building with your server Is without power. You can’t ftp? Your password has expired-so Telnet and change it. I have two days to Process a login request. You may not rush me. The more you bug me The less likely I am to Do you more favors. Oh, please telephone- Do not ring so much today- I have work to do. (Data Center Operations) ---
**Author:** ![Quantum\_Butterfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e79b87/32.png) [@Quantum\_Butterfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quantum_Butterfly)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/59 "2003-05-08T16:50:43Z")
Ah, the joys of bureaucracy… State Rehab person Who has much more hair than brains Please return phone call! Was using demo For software class you paid for Demo expired! You said real software Will be coming in the mail Weeks ago; not here! Semester is out May 12; professor wants work! No software, can’t work… ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_The\_Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Buck\_The\_Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_The_Diver)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/60 "2003-05-08T20:58:16Z")
Guy on motorbike You do not wear a helmet I will see you soon [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586.md?page=4)