# The Occupational Hazard Haiku Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 7, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586 "2003-05-07T04:00:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/61 "2003-05-08T21:20:29Z")
From my days in direct care: More latex gloves, please Professional ass-wiper That’s what they call me ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/62 "2003-05-08T21:20:51Z")
No, sir, you may not Be excused to the boys’ room To enjoy a joint. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/63 "2003-05-09T02:10:27Z")
4-by-5, 1-ply Is not enough for MY ass. Dumb bid list TP. I mean, _seriously_… I thought graduating from kindergarten meant I’d never see that cursed government TP again… ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/64 "2003-05-09T02:43:26Z")
My cellular phone I hold it close to my head. No brain cancer here! (uh…that’s the **Urban Legend Occupational Hazard Haiku** …) ---
**Author:** ![Osbie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/cdc98d/32.png) [@Osbie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osbie)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/65 "2003-05-09T04:26:48Z")
Butt in chair all day Sciatica is rampant Secretary spread Vending machine near Empty calories beckon Curse you Mountain Dew! ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/66 "2003-05-09T05:11:41Z")
Ah, life in retail… I don’t really care if you will use your Sears Card. Please, no more coupons! The Mens’ fitting room is littered with ties and socks. Those messy bastards. An eight-hour shift. Never had a chance to sit. Damn fallen arches. Listen, you old bat, “customer satisfaction” doesn’t mean “steal stuff.” Air conditioning may be broken in July, but it’s a dry heat. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/67 "2003-05-09T05:36:38Z")
Why do I bother? Respirators off for break To smoke cigarettes. Nah, don’t stop the line. Who will notice fingers in Store-brand canned cat food? Attention workers: No demolition derby With warehouse forklifts! (Ok, so I made up the cat food one. But it’s probably not too far off.) ---
**Author:** ![ddaug4uf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@ddaug4uf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddaug4uf)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/68 "2003-05-09T05:38:46Z")
No ma’am, we did not preprogram machine with porn your husband’s a perv Yes its possible to have Norton, and virus. Job security! Your computer’s slow? It wasn’t when you bought it. So here…Call your mom! Each day, I’m amazed you can’t find “My Computer”, Yet, YOU HAVE A JOB???!! ---
**Author:** ![drafty\_de](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@drafty\_de](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drafty_de)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586/69 "2003-05-09T06:07:14Z")
The design is great Change design per client notes The design now sucks my first haiku, …ever. shame: is it worthy to post? geek factor rising. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-occupational-hazard-haiku-thread/173586.md?page=3)