# The oddballs at the library **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 18, 2004, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-oddballs-at-the-library/275501 "2004-11-18T18:24:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-oddballs-at-the-library/275501/21 "2004-11-19T02:38:10Z")
I work as a baker(surprise, surprise) at our city library. I’ll put our most wierd wierdo up against anybody’s! The Buddha Lady- Dresses okay, has money, but is so whacked out I think she must have a caretaker. There are long periods in which she doesn’t appear(hospitalized?) She either takes all the chairs but one from her table and pushes them away, or takes _extra_ from other tables. Sometimes she talks just to herself, sometimes she talks to us There are odd mannerisms, like putting lipstick on her forehead. But she got her name when she informed our kitchen manager that Buddha had been on the cieling of her bedroom shooting laserbeams at her. Then he came down and made love to her! ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-oddballs-at-the-library/275501/22 "2004-11-19T06:39:01Z")
> [@pugluvr](#): > > I’m often over at that library at lunchtime, **Incubus**. That’s a beautiful new place! Now I’m going to have to keep a wary eye out for the Hitler Brothers and the Simba daddy. > > I’ll also keep my eye out for a crossing guard, sitting at a computer and snickering to himself. Oh no, you’ll find me out! _runs and hides in the bathroom_ _PFFFFFFFT!_ “AIEEEEEE!” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-oddballs-at-the-library/275501/23 "2004-11-19T08:12:16Z")
Wow, the only interesting person at our library was a homeless, unwashed and odiferous old man who comes in, takes some microfilms, sits at the machine and spends the entire day taking copious notes. He’s been doing this for many years. I saw him there every day. Perhaps he’s some graduate student stuck with a project that will just not end. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-oddballs-at-the-library/275501/24 "2004-11-19T09:22:18Z")
[QUOTE=Baker] I work as a baker(surprise, surprise) at our city library. /QUOTE] Libraries have kitchens and bakers??? What city are you in? Some of our libraries have cafes, but they serve coffee and juice and pre-baked goodie…no actual cooking involved. Tell us more! ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-oddballs-at-the-library/275501/25 "2004-11-19T09:35:20Z")
> [@astro](#): > > I wonder if… nahhh… couldn’t be. Yep, livin’ on the d’lo. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-oddballs-at-the-library/275501/26 "2004-11-19T11:43:37Z")
> [@Sweetums](#): > > The Ball Handler: Used to come in every week, and go to a corner and do what PeeWee Herman was arrested for. None of the Female staff were brave enough to confront him (not that I blame them). Three guesses who finally had to! So, do you come here often? I had a friend with a similar problem in the Auckland City library - she used to sneak up behind them very quietly with a hardbound copy of the Oxford Dictionary Of Quotations, and then, while they were engrossed, suddenly BANG IT SHUT LOUDLY! Put them right off their stroke, by all accounts. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-oddballs-at-the-library/275501/27 "2004-11-19T14:58:50Z")
I can’t get the **Hitler Brothers** out of my mind. _Spring time for Hit-ler…in Ger-Ma-Nyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy_ Yes, I need a life. ---
**Author:** ![My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/My_Darn_Snake_Legs)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-oddballs-at-the-library/275501/28 "2004-11-19T15:34:27Z")
Maybe your Farting-Man could be [THIS!](http://www.collegehumor.com/?pg=robodump). Good stuff. At our public library (and the BG library I’ve heard) there is this mentally retarded girl who wanders around trying to make out with every guy she sees. I have been that guy :eek: Sample dialogue: Her: What’re you doing here? Me: Um…reading? Her: Do you have a girlfriend? Me: yes. Her: No. You don’t. Me: OK. Her: I want you to be my boyfriend! (At this point she gets up and comes over and starts petting my hair, so I move to another seat in the lounge.) Me: Please stop that. Her: I want a kiss. Me: WEll, I’ve got my book. Have a nice day. (and I get up to leave) Her: Give me a kiss! Me: No, thanks. Her: How about a hug? Me: um, no. Bye. –Flees!– I have heard that she does this to men in the street around there too. I told my friends about this and they were like, “Oh yeah, that’s (so-and-so). She does that.” Too strange. My girlfriend couldn’t stop laughing though… ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-oddballs-at-the-library/275501/29 "2004-11-19T17:00:23Z")
I’ve never directly encountered any library wierdos, but I remember reading something in the student newspaper about a guy who was caught “polishing the bishop” (exact words!) in one of the computer labs. Last year, the police blotter in the same paper listed an incident involving a man who had stripped naked in one of the bathrooms and was attempting to bathe in a sink. ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-oddballs-at-the-library/275501/30 "2004-11-19T19:12:24Z")
**Snake Legs** We’ve got a guy like that, “Matt”. He’s about 20, with coke-bottle glasses, but he’s a bit more polite than your girl. The other day we had this conversation: Matt: Hi Me: Hi Matt: What’s your name (note: he asks me this ever time we meet) Me: [SusanStoHelit], and I’ll bet I can guess yours. It’s Matt, right? Matt: Right! How’d you know? Me: You l,ook like a Matt Matt: Oh. You like hamburgers? Me: Yes Matt: You want to go out for hamburgers with me? Me: No, I have a boyfriend Matt (deflated): Oh. What’s your boyfriend’s name? Me: [Imp y Celyn]. Matt (brightening visibly): Does he want to go out for hamburgers with me? Well, at least he’s not picky!?! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-oddballs-at-the-library/275501/31 "2004-11-19T20:57:24Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > Only complaints are they use the Library of Congress cataloging system, which seems to have no basis in logic whatsoever. And the Dewey Decimal system **is** grounded in logic and reason? I always found that LoC libraries were more fun to wander the stacks, because related topics were usually in the same section, whereas DD libraries would have engineering and military science in two different sections of the library… ---
**Author:** ![Sweetums](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Sweetums](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweetums)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-oddballs-at-the-library/275501/32 "2004-11-19T21:10:24Z")
> [@Middlecase](#): > > So, do you come here often? I had a friend with a similar problem in the Auckland City library - she used to sneak up behind them very quietly with a hardbound copy of the Oxford Dictionary Of Quotations, and then, while they were engrossed, suddenly BANG IT SHUT LOUDLY! Put them right off their stroke, by all accounts. ``` Pretty much what I did to the ball handler. I dropped the dictionary on the floor next to him. Another odd (but harmless) fellow was "Blue Jacket" he would come in twice a day, and xerox pages from newspapers. Through observation we figured out that he was copying concert schedules, from concerts that had happened a week ago. And remember, he was comming in twice a day, every day, and making a dozen or so copies every time. So not only was he spending a fair amount of money, wherever he lived had to be stacked to the rafters with copies from old newspapers. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-oddballs-at-the-library/275501/33 "2004-11-20T02:15:37Z")
[QUOTE=kittenblue] > [@Baker](#): > > I work as a baker(surprise, surprise) at our city library. /QUOTE] > > Libraries have kitchens and bakers??? > > What city are you in? > > Some of our libraries have cafes, but they serve coffee and juice and pre-baked goodie…no actual cooking involved. > > Tell us more! I work in the Topeka and Shawnee County Public library, in Topeka Kansas. It’s a lovely new building designed by Michael Graves, a reknowned architect. They built in a cafe. We have homemade soups, sandwiches, a hot lunch entree, and so on. I make and bake pies, cakes, biscuits, scones, biscotti, cookies, pita bread for sandwiches, muffins, and much much more. About 80% of what I do is from scratch. Groups holding meetings in the library may not bring in their own food, that’s part of the deal that gets them the room for free. If they want to eat or drink we provide it. But we can’t cater off premise. So in January of 2002, when First Lady Laura Bush attended the grand opening of our new facility, we worked our fingers to the bone for about 600 people. Hardest I ever worked in my life. You can see us online at [www.tscpl.org](http://www.tscpl.org) Click on the “Features” menu at the library website, then click “Millennium Cafe” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-oddballs-at-the-library/275501.md?page=1)