# The Offensive Joke Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 2, 2010, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883 "2010-08-02T13:35:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/1 "2010-08-02T13:35:42Z")
just because i like to have cheap laughs at other people’s expense. anti-asian jokes if you have them just because i just haven’t heard any real good ones ever really. How can you tell if a pedophile is jewish? He says “take it easy on the candy there, little boy” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/2 "2010-08-02T14:49:32Z")
Yeah, let’s all show our racism by pretending it’s just a fun joke thread. Good idea! ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/3 "2010-08-02T15:35:34Z")
I don’t know about you, **Chefguy** , but I fucking loved the last one of these threads that rolled through. If I’m a racist, so be it: I still have to get my chuckles somewhere. \>:] ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/4 "2010-08-02T15:43:55Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > just because i like to have cheap laughs at other people’s expense. anti-asian jokes if you have them just because i just haven’t heard any real good ones ever really. > > How can you tell if a pedophile is jewish? > > He says “take it easy on the candy there, little boy” Wrong punchline. Hey, little boy. Wanna buy some candy? ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/5 "2010-08-02T17:45:56Z")
The worst, most racist, most offensive joke I have ever heard follows here. It has no redeeming qualities. You should not read it. I’m ashamed I even know it. It’s st_rm fr_nt bad. It’s so bad I’m going to put it in TWO spoiler boxes. A guy finds a bottle on the beach. He picks it up, and lo and behold, a genie appears and tells the guy he will grant him one wish. “Well”, he says, “I’ve always had a small penis. I wish I was hung like a black guy.” So the genie lynched him ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/6 "2010-08-02T18:03:15Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > The worst, most racist, most offensive joke I have ever heard follows here. It has no redeeming qualities. You should not read it. I’m ashamed I even know it. It’s st_rm fr_nt bad. It’s so bad I’m going to put it in TWO spoiler boxes. > > A guy finds a bottle on the beach. He picks it up, and lo and behold, a genie appears and tells the guy he will grant him one wish. “Well”, he says, “I’ve always had a small penis. I wish I was hung like a black guy.” So the genie lynched him [The Literal Genie](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LiteralGenie).-TV Tropes ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/7 "2010-08-02T18:15:57Z")
So a black guy finds a bottle in the sand and rubs it. Out pops a genie, who tells him he will grant him one wish. The black says, “Cool! I wanna be white, tight, and out-of-sight!” So the genie turns him into a tampon ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/8 "2010-08-02T18:19:41Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Yeah, let’s all show our racism by pretending it’s just a fun joke thread. Good idea! Oh, lighten up. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/9 "2010-08-02T18:21:47Z")
> [@MTCicero](#): > > > [@Chefguy](#): > > > > Yeah, let’s all show our racism by pretending it’s just a fun joke thread. Good idea! > > Oh, lighten up. MJ did, and he’s dead 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/10 "2010-08-02T18:22:08Z")
Hey, did you hear about the football player who lost 25 cents? All the fans kept yelling “Get the quarterback!” ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/11 "2010-08-02T18:28:06Z")
[spoiler]My girlfriend and I were having sex the other day when she looked at me and said, “Make love to me like they do in the movies.” [spoiler]So I fucked her in the ass, pulled out, and came all over her face and hair. I guess we don’t watch the same movies.[/spoiler][/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/12 "2010-08-02T18:28:43Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > Hey, did you hear about the football player who lost 25 cents? > > All the fans kept yelling “Get the quarterback!” Yes, football offends me too. ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/13 "2010-08-02T18:29:43Z")
> [@ministryman](#): > > > [@MTCicero](#): > > > > Oh, lighten up. > > MJ did, and he’s dead 😃 Niiiiice! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/14 "2010-08-02T18:33:43Z")
> [@MTCicero](#): > > [spoiler]My girlfriend and I were having sex the other day when she looked at me and said, “Make love to me like they do in the movies.” [spoiler]So I fucked her in the ass, pulled out, and came all over her face and hair. > > I guess we don’t watch the same movies.[/spoiler][/spoiler] I just shot water out of my nose… ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/15 "2010-08-02T18:36:46Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Yeah, let’s all show our racism by pretending it’s just a fun joke thread. Good idea! Jesus, first post and everything. :rolleyes: I’ve always been afraid to post in joke threads for fear of offending somebody (here?! NEVER!). Stupid. Here, I’ll make my joke not racist just for you. Why does Chefguy smell funny? So blind people can hate him, too. That one made me CACKLE LIKE A MANIAC when I heard it and I don’t care if that makes me a racist. (Oh, I heard it as a black joke but, for the OP, it’d probably work just as well for Asians or Mexicans or whatever, too.) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/16 "2010-08-02T18:38:23Z")
What’s gross? A dumptruck full of dead babies. What’s grosser? The live one on the bottom trying to eat his way out. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/17 "2010-08-02T18:41:00Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > The worst, most racist, most offensive joke I have ever heard follows here. It has no redeeming qualities. You should not read it. I’m ashamed I even know it. It’s st_rm fr_nt bad. It’s so bad I’m going to put it in TWO spoiler boxes. > > A guy finds a bottle on the beach. He picks it up, and lo and behold, a genie appears and tells the guy he will grant him one wish. “Well”, he says, “I’ve always had a small penis. I wish I was hung like a black guy.” So the genie lynched him Oh, that’s not the worse I’ve ever heard. The worse I’ve heard is [spoiler]Q: How do you get a black man out of a tree? A: Cut the rope. That actually made me cringe when I heard it, and I’ve heard all kinds of racist jokes. This was told to me by a black person![/spoiler] > [@MTCicero](#): > > [spoiler]My girlfriend and I were having sex the other day when she looked at me and said, “Make love to me like they do in the movies.” [spoiler]So I fucked her in the ass, pulled out, and came all over her face and hair. > > I guess we don’t watch the same movies.[/spoiler][/spoiler] Funny! I don’t have anything to add because I’m not very funny. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/18 "2010-08-02T18:46:31Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > The worse I’ve heard is > > [spoiler]Q: How do you get a black man out of a tree? > > A: Cut the rope. > > That actually made me cringe when I heard it, and I’ve heard all kinds of racist jokes. This was told to me by a black person![/spoiler] [spoiler]Where do black Jews go? The back of the oven.[/spoiler] Two birds, one stone and all that… ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/19 "2010-08-02T18:47:50Z")
I am going to hell for laughing at that. Oh man, that is just awful. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/20 "2010-08-02T18:59:20Z")
What do all battered women have in common? They don’t fucking listen [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883.md?page=2)