# The Offensive Joke Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 2, 2010, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883 "2010-08-02T13:35:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/121 "2010-10-21T06:08:40Z")
> [@Agnostic\_Pagan](#): > > I am already going to hell for other reasons, so I might as well post in here… > but for the record i do not endorse any of these… > > Why did the woman cross the road? > > Who cares? What was she doing out of the kitchen. > How do you piss off your SO during sex? > > Call them on the phone - (or these days, send them a video email) > > First heard during the first Gulf War - why do Arabs wear robes? > > Because camels can hear a zipper a mile away. > > Turned that one around though - why do farmers where Levi’s 501 jeans? > > Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away also. Variation I’ve heard: Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Zippers freak out the sheep! ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/122 "2010-10-21T06:11:30Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > What has 5000 legs and can’t walk? > > Jerry’s kids. Not to be TOO harsh, but I know Jerry’s kids. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/123 "2010-10-21T06:25:55Z")
What’s the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Pizza doesn’t scream when you put it the oven. ---
**Author:** ![rock\_party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@rock\_party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rock_party)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/124 "2010-10-21T07:21:00Z")
You know who’s a really lousy lay…I mean awful…just lies there, doesn’t move or make any expressions at all? That chick in the trunk of my car. ---
**Author:** ![rayman5321](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@rayman5321](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayman5321)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/125 "2010-10-21T11:42:43Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > just because i like to have cheap laughs at other people’s expense. anti-asian jokes if you have them just because i just haven’t heard any real good ones ever really. > > How can you tell if a pedophile is jewish? > > He says “take it easy on the candy there, little boy” No. No. It’s “would you like to buy some candy, little boy”. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/126 "2010-10-21T14:29:42Z")
Have you seen Stevie Wonder’s new piano? Neither has he. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883/127 "2010-10-21T18:09:23Z")
A couple days after God finished creation, Adam and Eve had sex in the Garden of Eden. Afterward, Eve was washing up in a steam when God walked by and saw her. “Dammit,” he yelled, “Now I’ll never get that smell out of the fish!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-offensive-joke-thread/548883.md?page=6)