# The Official Dannie Lynn Paternity Pool **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 13, 2007, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078 "2007-02-13T21:26:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/1 "2007-02-13T21:26:10Z")
## Rules are simple: each Doper gives his/her pick for Dannie Lynn’s paternity and when the results will be announced. (There’s no shortage of possible ANS Death pools: cause-of-death, when-if-Howard-Stern-will-be-charged-with-contributing, who-will-write-first-tell-all-book, etc., but paternity will probably be the first answered.) A shame we can’t do a $1 buy-in per entry to make it most interesting and with the award going to whoever guesses daddy and date the closest. For those who don’t have cable (where reruns of _Good Times_ and _Mother Angelica_ are about the only shows without ANS segments- I half expect Josh Bernstein to wind up in the Bahamas and oversee the excavation of ANS’s septic tank on _Digging for the Truth_) the current “big picks” are of course Howard K. Stern (Anna’s former attorney and common-law husband) Best thing going for his claim: He was inseparable from her so he certainly had plenty of opportunity Worst thing going: Why’s he so damned adamant about not taking a DNA test? Larry Birkhead (photographer and brief fling ANS supposedly hated by the end) Best thing: Seems a bit less publicity hungry or determined to financially gain than the other candidates; only one who seems to truly want only the baby Worst thing: according to ANS’s inner circle, the dates aren’t right Prince Frederic von Anhalt (Zsa-Zsa’s nouveau nobleman husband, a man you gotta love if only for [this quote](http://thescotsman.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=458582006) : > [@](#): > > Whenever my wife dies, I am off. Here in America, I have no friends, no fun. It makes me sick. Here it is like a third-world country. One can only live in Europe. ) Best thing: the sheer dark-horse oddity of it Worst thing: he’s about 70 years old and nobody seems to have ever heard of his 10 year affair with ANS until his death J. Howard Marshall (ANS’s late husband and baby’s alleged frozen pop) Best thing: well, it’s possible, and it was the same plot as an ER episode ANS might have seen and it would be a media disaster to deny the baby an inheritance from his billionaire dad Worst thing: He’s an 89 year old man who’s been dead more than a decade ## Or you can pick your own. My pick: G. Ben Thompson, the man who owned ANS’s house When will it be known: March 17th ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/2 "2007-02-13T21:29:14Z")
PS= For all the hooplah and media orgies surrounding this absolutely pointless Iraq-and-State/of/the/Union-and-other-real/issue-bumping celebrity death, you have to admit that this one truly does have it all. You couldn’t _write_ this- mysterious death, up-for-grabs-baby, death-under-similar-circumstances-son, methodone-and-SlimFast-in-the-fridge, Geraldo-accusing-murder-and-immorality- Gotta admit, this one’s a helluva lot more sparkly and fun than O.J., Scott Petersen or a crazy astronaut scorned you never heard of. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/3 "2007-02-13T21:32:21Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] …Gotta admit, this one’s a helluva lot more sparkly and fun than O.J., Scott Petersen or a crazy astronaut scorned you never heard of. [/QUOTE] Well, other than the noticeable lack of diapers. (Except, I guess, for Howard K. Marshall’s [sic].) ---
**Author:** ![29car](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/ebca7d/32.png) [@29car](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/29car)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/4 "2007-02-13T21:46:28Z")
Put me down for [John Amaechi](http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2757105). He “comes out” on Wednesday, and she was so suprised that she died the very next day. It’s really quite obvious. ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/5 "2007-02-13T22:02:01Z")
[QUOTE=29car] Put me down for [John Amaechi](http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2757105). He “comes out” on Wednesday, and she was so suprised that she died the very next day. It’s really quite obvious. [/QUOTE] At first I thought you said [Don Ameche](http://www.movieactors.com/winsm/sm85.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/6 "2007-02-13T22:09:01Z")
[QUOTE=BMax] At first I thought you said [Don Ameche](http://www.movieactors.com/winsm/sm85.htm) [/QUOTE] I KNEW Don Ameche was queer! I knew it! The way he looked at Wilford Brimley in the bathing suit scenes of _Cocoon_ alone… I sure didn’t know he played basketball or still held press conferences though. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/7 "2007-02-13T22:11:06Z")
I like underdogs. I’ll go with Zsa Zsa’s Prince. ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/8 "2007-02-13T22:21:23Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] I KNEW Don Ameche was queer! I knew it! The way he looked at Wilford Brimley in the bathing suit scenes of _Cocoon_ alone… I sure didn’t know he played basketball or still held press conferences though. [/QUOTE] I heard he did her while she was passed out at the Playboy Mansion on a bet of $1.00 with Hugh Hefner that she wouldn’t wake up. INDEED, Mortimer. **INDEED**! ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/9 "2007-02-13T22:43:58Z")
Can I put money on “Someone other than the four guys who are claiming paternity”? I don’t know who it’ll be, I just think it is someone other than any of them. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/10 "2007-02-13T23:04:50Z")
I’m going to go the “exceedingly dark-horse candidate” route, and say it was me. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/11 "2007-02-13T23:05:23Z")
Call me a bleeding heart sentimentalist, but I’m going to go with the husband this time: - Howard K. Stern for Dannielynn’s Daddy! ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/12 "2007-02-13T23:08:57Z")
I thought Prince Zsa-Zsa was claiming 59? I guess the key word there is “claiming.” I’m in for Birkhead, myself. She was saying he was the babydaddy when she first announced the pregnancy before she got pissed off at him. Oh, by the way… new story I saw today said that her bodyguard was hinting _he_ might be the babydaddy. ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/13 "2007-02-13T23:19:07Z")
[QUOTE=bluethree] Can I put money on “Someone other than the four guys who are claiming paternity”? I don’t know who it’ll be, I just think it is someone other than any of them. [/QUOTE] That’s my vote as well. Someone other than the ones who are claiming it now. Either an unknown or the Bahamian Minister of Immigration who was caught on camera lying in bed with ANS. :eek: Did men just plain lose their minds around the girl or something? ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/14 "2007-02-13T23:28:38Z")
[QUOTE=lisacurl] I thought Prince Zsa-Zsa was claiming 59? … [/QUOTE] Yeah, cause it’s not like Anna had a thing for older men or something :rolleyes: . ---
**Author:** ![look\_ninjas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/15 "2007-02-13T23:30:05Z")
To me, there are only two possibilities that could make this story better: Either it’s aliens, or it’s Elvis. My bet is on aliens. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/16 "2007-02-13T23:44:18Z")
Bat Boy! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/17 "2007-02-13T23:49:44Z")
[QUOTE=BMax] I heard he did her while she was passed out at the Playboy Mansion on a bet of $1.00 with Hugh Hefner that she wouldn’t wake up. INDEED, Mortimer. **INDEED**! [/QUOTE] “Randy, that’s like Randy Jackson, of the Jackson Five?” “Yes, I suppose so.” So now we have an **AI** connection to the mystery. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/18 "2007-02-14T00:29:56Z")
I will probably go to hell for this, but my wife is wondering if the whole “no, we won’t give DNA” thing is because the childs father is… BUM BUM BUM… Her OWN SON, DANIEL!!! ---
**Author:** ![zoog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7ea924/32.png) [@zoog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoog)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/19 "2007-02-14T00:34:52Z")
I’m going with a dark horse - Dick Cheney. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078/20 "2007-02-14T00:41:43Z")
[QUOTE=lisacurl] I thought Prince Zsa-Zsa was claiming 59? I guess the key word there is “claiming.” [/QUOTE] He was also claiming that Viagra made him impotent, so… yeah. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dannie-lynn-paternity-pool/392078.md?page=2)