# The Official \*DAVE\* Thread: All Daves, report here for your ice cream cone! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 9, 2000, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871 "2000-06-09T14:21:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/1 "2000-06-09T14:21:00Z")
Someone made a disparaging remark in another forum concerning people (and posters) named “Dave”, and I felt bad for them, partly because all of the posters named “Dave” I have met so far have been really “kuhl”, and partly because I have a RL kid brother named Dave. (Yeah, yeah, I know, he was a major PITA for years, but that’s all water under the bridge now. That little incident with the lipstick and the baby doll? Totally forgotten. Water under the bridge. Really.) And I got to wondering how many “Daves” we have here anyway. All I can think of are Weirddave, Casdave, DaveW0071, and of course DavidB, but I’m sure there must be more. So anyway, I would like to hereby treat all of the “Daves” to chocolate ice cream cones. Step right up! Don’t forget a napkin! ---
**Author:** ![Pandora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/eada6e/32.png) [@Pandora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pandora)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/2 "2000-06-09T14:30:55Z")
I have a bastard abusive ex-boyfriend named dave… but I don’t hold it against others 🙂 here davie davie davie… -Pandora ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/3 "2000-06-09T14:48:38Z")
Longtime poster Polycarp (who can still be found over on the F3MB) is a Dave. Since he apparently no longer posts to the SDMB, he probably won’t stop by to pick up his ice cream cone, though. ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/4 "2000-06-09T14:56:14Z")
Oh goody! Finally something good comes of being a Dave! I like chocolate…🙂 -Dave ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/5 "2000-06-09T15:03:43Z")
These are the Daves I know, I know, These are the Daves I know… Oh, yeah, like the rest of you weren’t thinking it. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/6 "2000-06-09T15:50:50Z")
DDG, Can I have vanilla? I’m not a big chocolate eater. So sue me.\< or, if you’re a troll, bite me! \> BTW, I’ve been losing sleep because that guy called me a loser. Thank you so much for making me feel better.:D;) thanks, dee dee gee! Dave ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/7 "2000-06-09T16:02:28Z")
Flyp, you beat me to it. I came in here simply to sing that song. Sigh. HUGS! Sqrl ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/8 "2000-06-09T16:33:55Z")
No problem, O Dave of the Weird! One vanilla cone, coming right up! And a chocolate cone, for Necros! Napkins, people, napkins… 😃 BTW, I forgot to mention that this offer is open to Honorary Daves, too. Anybody who wants to come stand up here with me at the microphone and say, “Hi, my name’s Dave–and I’m a Dave” will also be entitled to ice cream. And if we have any trolls out there who happen to be named “Dave”, well, hey, I guess I can stand them an ice cream cone, too, in the interests of fairness. You don’t have to admit you’re a troll to get your cone, just come on in. It’s a beautiful Friday afternoon in June and I just feel like buying ice cream cones for people named Dave. (The RL kid brother is coming up here with his whole family from West Texas next week, 4 nieces I haven’t laid eyes on in about 5 years, since the last one was a toddler, in photos the next-to-the-last one has an eerie resemblance to her cousin, my Number 3 kid, which is partly why I’m thinkin’ about Daves today.) ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/10 "2000-06-09T17:05:45Z")
Have I ever told you of Mrs. McCave Who had twenty-three sons and she named them all Dave? Well, she did, and that wasn’t a smart thing to do For when she wants one of them and calls out “Yoo hoo! Come into the house, Dave,” she doesn’t get one All twenty-three Daves of hers come on the run! This makes things quite difficult at the McCaves’ As you can imagine, with so many Daves. – Uke, who clearly spends altogether too much of his time reading Dr. Seuss to the kids ---
**Author:** ![Capt.Spaulding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5a626/32.png) [@Capt.Spaulding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt.Spaulding)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/11 "2000-06-09T17:26:24Z")
I play on a softball team called “the Daves” (short for “Just a Buncha Guys Named Dave” - as the first year of the team we had a preponderence of “Daves”). I am, have been and always will be proud to call myself a “Dave”. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/12 "2000-06-09T18:07:12Z")
A “Dave”, checking in. Do you have any scotch? I don’t care for ice cream. ---
**Author:** ![H8\_2\_W8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c77e96/32.png) [@H8\_2\_W8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/H8_2_W8)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/13 "2000-06-09T18:14:41Z")
Count me in as a Dave. Strange Daves indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/14 "2000-06-09T18:19:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Longtime poster Polycarp (who can still be found over on the F3MB) is a Dave. Since he apparently no longer posts to the SDMB, he probably won’t stop by to pick up his ice cream cone, though. > \*\* So, can I have Poly’s cone? My dad is named Dave and one of my kids’ middle name is Dave. I want the chocolate/vanilla swirl! Mmmmmmm! ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/15 "2000-06-09T18:46:55Z")
c’mon, someone had to do it! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/16 "2000-06-09T18:52:13Z")
Gee, thanks, Ducky! C’n I have rainbow sprinkles on my cone? I knew being a Dave would come in handy one of these days. ‘Course it took 41 friggin’ years to get there… ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Thin_Skin)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/17 "2000-06-09T20:48:42Z")
I wanted to be called David, everyone calls me Dave. I’ve gotten used to it. At least my mom calls me David. ---
**Author:** ![Delta-9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Delta-9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delta-9)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/18 "2000-06-09T20:57:41Z")
Dave’s not here. ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/19 "2000-06-09T21:11:41Z")
Okay, line up now, no pushing… Let’s see now, the thrice-daved Dave Dave Davin wants a triple dipper. I guess we can manage that, buddy, but don’t drop it, I’m not buyin’ ya another one, okay? Hey, welcome to the Straight Dope, D3! You sure picked the right day to register! Betcha didn’t know when you came in here that they was gonna be givin’ away ice cream, huh? Okay, who’s next? Ike, sweetie, even though you’re not a Dave, I think you’re entitled to ice cream just for that lovely poem. Here ya go! One ice cream cone for the athletic Tom Taylor! Eat it where the other kids can’t see you, or else you’ll have to share licks. Sorry, Mouthbreather, no Scotch at Baskin-Robbins. Want a sugar cone to eat instead? Or there’s sherbet, or popsicles over there… Hey, there’s H82W8! Do you mind if I ask, is it “Hate to Wait” or “Hate to Weight” as in a progression, you know, like converting hate to weight? And how do you do that? Anyway, here’s your ice cream… Democritus, you can have your very own swirl cone, 'cause Ike’s poem has got me feeling mighty gracious. So remember to say “thank you” to HIM next time you see him, okay? And what if I gave you Poly’s cone, and then he shows up later. Don’t wanna do that. DaveW, you can have rainbow sprinkles if they have them… \<\< pause \>\> Yep, looks like you’re in luck! Here you go. Say, there, Mr. Thin Skin, when you’re done eating your ice cream, I’m gonna give you an extra cone to take home to your mom for being so nice as to call you how you wanted. Does she want chocolate or vanilla? Can you ride your bike holding it? Great! ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/20 "2000-06-09T21:37:30Z")
I guess I qualify since on my birth certificate my name is David…do David’s count? I really do prefer to go by Dave…I’m hoping to legally change my name from “David” to “Dave”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Val2K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/3da27b/32.png) [@Val2K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Val2K)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871/21 "2000-06-09T22:35:01Z")
\*I wonder if I lie and say my name is Dave if they’ll check for ID. . . \* Oops, did I think that out loud? Heh heh. . . well, I’ve always liked the name Dave, does that count? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-dave-thread-all-daves-report-here-for-your-ice-cream-cone/21871.md?page=2)