# The Official SDMB Confession Stand
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [August 31, 2001, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181 "2001-08-31T19:39:05Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2001, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/1 "2001-08-31T19:39:05Z")
This is not a blatant rip-off of [Jester’s](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=84658) thread - rather it was inspired by my poor eyesight and dirty glasses.
[sub]Plus I figure it’s a chance to hear some really juicy stories.[/sub]
Disclaimer: I am not a Father Confessor, being neither a Father nor a confessor. However, I promise that whatever you tell me will be held in strictest confidence. No, really, I won’t tell! You can trust me. So, come sit by me, dear children, and unburden yourselves.
[Frasier Crane] I’m listening.[/Frasier Crane]
---
### Author:  [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2001, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/2 "2001-08-31T19:43:11Z")
**FairyChatMom** , I love you. But don’t tell anyone else.
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### Author:  [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2001, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/3 "2001-08-31T19:54:30Z")
Sometimes I don’t think a new episode of _The Simpsons_is funny until I’ve seen it a second time.
In elementary school, I ate some soap a friend was carving thinking it was white chocolate. Now I no longer like white chocolate.
I really like the way new shoes make me taller for a few days. Given an unlimited budget, I’d throw shoes out as soon as my shod height slipped back under 6’ 1".
Is there a bulk discount?
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### Author:  [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2001, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/4 "2001-08-31T19:55:38Z")
I could swear this was in IMHO when I started replying. :eek:
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### Author:  [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2001, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/5 "2001-08-31T19:56:29Z")
I cried at the end of _Pay It Forward_.
I still have a copy of The Color Purple that I accidentally brought to college with me in 1992 instead of returning it to the library.
I think **thinksnow** is absolutely adorable.
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### Author:  [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2001, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/6 "2001-08-31T19:59:30Z")
Bless me **FairyChatMom** for I am sinning. I am playing on the SDMB when I should be working. I can’t help it, I have voices, and this is more fun than telling suppliers how to run their businesses. OK, that’s kinda fun, too.
Am I going to Hell?
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2001, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/7 "2001-08-31T20:24:19Z")
I’ve never seen a complete episode of _The Simpsons_.
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### Author:  [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2001, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/8 "2001-08-31T20:31:47Z")
Sometimes I have naughty thoughts about certain Dopers…about three of them actually. I want to see them naked and run my tongue…I’ll stop there.
What is my penance? How many Hail Mary’s?
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2001, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/9 "2001-08-31T20:35:58Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Nostradamus \*
> \*\ ***FairyChatMom** , I love you. But don’t tell anyone else. \*\*
Awww, I love you too, but don’t tell my husband…
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by KneadToKnow \*
> \*\*
> Is there a bulk discount? \*\*
Are you referring to shoes or confessions??
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by KneadToKnow \*
> \*\*I could swear this was in IMHO when I started replying. :eek: \*\*
Please don’t swear… delicate sensibilities and all that crap…
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by magdalene \*
> \*\*
> I think **thinksnow** is absolutely adorable. \*\*
Me too, but don’t tell my husband
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by UncleBill \*
> \*\*Am I going to Hell? \*\*
Nah - I’ll put in a good word for you… but ya gotta repent and send me chocolates…
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Ethilrist \*
> \*\*I’ve never seen a complete episode of _The Simpsons_. \*\*
You’ll prolly have to go to hell for that.
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by hardygrrl \*
> **Sometimes I have naughty thoughts about certain Dopers…about three of them actually. I want to see them naked and run my tongue…**
You too??
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### Author:  [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2001, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/10 "2001-08-31T21:16:55Z")
I think guys that look like Jesus usually does in artists’ renderings are HOT.
I’m also madly in love with someone who doesn’t look a HECK of a lot like above description.
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### Author:  [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2001, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/11 "2001-08-31T21:21:58Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by KneadToKnow \*
> \*\*Sometimes I don’t think a new episode of _The Simpsons_is funny until I’ve seen it a second time.
> \*\*
These days the new episodes aren’t funny at all! :eek:
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### Author:  [@Nicklz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicklz)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2001, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/12 "2001-08-31T21:31:46Z")
I have a confession.
I’d like to tie up a certain doper and…
- someone knows what I’m talking about \*
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2001, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/13 "2001-08-31T21:32:46Z")
::looks around furtively::I’ve never read The Hobbit. I tried three times, and I think Tolkien is a terrible author. Oh, and I had chocolate-covered Teddy Grahams for lunch.::hangs head in shame::
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### Author:  [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2001, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/14 "2001-08-31T21:59:28Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Nicklz \*
> \*\*I have a confession.
> I’d like to tie up a certain doper and…
>
> - someone knows what I’m talking about \* \*\*
{i]If you post it, they will come…\*
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### Author:  [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2001, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/15 "2001-08-31T22:09:40Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by magdalene \*
> **I cried at the end of _Pay It Forward_.**
Me too.
I’ve never seen anything “Monty Python” and I think that the previews for “Flying Circus” (or whatever) look really stupid.
I liked “Grapes of Wrath”. Except that really long chapter devoted entirely to the turtle crossing the road. I thought that was pretty stupid.
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### Author:  [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2001, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/16 "2001-08-31T22:13:42Z")
This is rather difficult for me to say. You realize I’ve never told anyone these things ever.
I often buy a ton of hair care products for my GF. I’ll get hair straightener, hair dye, conditioner, gel, spray, etc. The truth is, although I tell everyone the stuff is for my GF, it’s really all for me.
Same deal with the Biore strips.
I lied that day in the elevator: I _did_ know what that smell was. I had Taco Bell for lunch. Some nights I wake up and can still hear the screaming.
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### Author:  [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2001, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/17 "2001-08-31T23:15:17Z")
I used to write papers for people in college and grad school for money.
Hey, I like to write, and the money was pretty good.
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### Author:  [@Ferggie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferggie)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2001, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/18 "2001-08-31T23:20:38Z")
I hate Faulkner. The famous author, not anyone else named Faulkner. I hate Faulkner so much I can’t even remember what his first name is.
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### Author:  [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2001, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/19 "2001-08-31T23:37:20Z")
It’s William, **Ferggie.** And he doesn’t exactly float my boat, either.
But I really, _really_ don’t like Hemingway. I tried, but I just couldn’t do it. Sorry.
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### Author:  [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)
#### Post date: [September 1, 2001, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-confession-stand/79181/20 "2001-09-01T00:30:44Z")
Well, since we’re getting things off our chests…
I stole several dollars out of my little sister’s piggybank when I was 12 and she was 6.
I added two points to a student’s final grade to make it a D- instead of an F.
I refused to feed my roommate’s dog when she went off with the flavor-of-the-month boyfriend, and let it go hungry for several days in order to force her to look after it herself.
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