# The Official SDMB Hijack Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 29, 2002, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147 "2002-09-29T21:27:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/61 "2002-10-02T19:29:37Z")
The “A” and “E” have completely faded from my keyboard. You would think that the “I”, “O”, and “U” would be almost if not equally faded. But , the “S”, “H” and “T” are much more faded than the “I”, “O” or “U”. Upon closer inspection, the “A” is not totally faded, it looks like this “^”. ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/62 "2002-10-02T21:34:05Z")
And the _light bulbs_! Dear, sweet candy-coated _CHRIST_, the **LIGHT BULBS**! I mean, just…cryin’ out loud, have you ever _seen_ such a thing? ---
**Author:** ![LucChiq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4491bb/32.png) [@LucChiq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LucChiq)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/63 "2002-10-02T23:19:20Z")
I am at work and I am bored. Do you know a way to make time go faster? ---
**Author:** ![Asylum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@Asylum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asylum)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2002, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/64 "2002-10-03T01:54:23Z")
Y’know, since the stated purpose of the thread is to hijack it any attempts to hijack it will only fall within the desired range of responses, i.e. any, and thus not result in a hijack. Hmm. We have a paradox. On the plus (or negative) side, posting to this thread keeps from doing my incredibly simple and boring statistics homework. ---
**Author:** ![TVGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/82dd89/32.png) [@TVGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVGuy)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2002, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/65 "2002-10-03T03:31:35Z")
[hijack] [hijack] … infinite regression? … [/hijack] [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2002, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/66 "2002-10-03T05:15:44Z")
**LucChiq** : I believe that’s the “ **T** ” key. Make sure your shield levels are set to full recharge while you do this, however. ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/67 "2002-10-05T01:49:26Z")
Wow…this thing went on longer than I thought it would. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/68 "2002-10-05T10:13:57Z")
How about that! 😛 Cartoon from _Sex to Sexty:_ Youthful mother of teenage boy; she has a smug facial experession; she’s clad only in a bathrobe and is twirling a coach’s whistle on a cord. Her son approaches, and speaks, happily. Caption: “What do you mean by ‘indoor sports,’ Mom?” ---
**Author:** ![PhiloVance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e19adc/32.png) [@PhiloVance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PhiloVance)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2002, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/69 "2002-10-06T00:22:49Z")
I was just tellin’ Granny the other day, now if you just ---
**Author:** ![The\_Big\_Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8baadc/32.png) [@The\_Big\_Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Big_Cheese)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2002, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/70 "2002-10-06T00:30:28Z")
I saw Joe Paterno today! He was walking 10 feet away from me! ---
**Author:** ![bee\_with\_an\_itch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@bee\_with\_an\_itch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bee_with_an_itch)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2002, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/71 "2002-10-06T00:51:26Z")
“Sweet Jeebus! It’s Festivus”, she cried. At that moment, Michael came rushing through the window with a can of cartoon sound effects. “Quick!”, he shouted, “pour these down the drain.” She swiftly grabbed the can in question and dumped it down the sink… GLUB SPROING HYUK HYUK HYUK AAAHOOOOGAH KERSMASH BEEP BEEP _SLIDE WHISTLE_ …RUUUUUUUN! It’s Rammstein and they’ve got oatmeal! ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2002, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/72 "2002-10-06T01:13:26Z")
The Hijack Thread has been hijacked into a non-sequitur thread. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2002, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/73 "2002-10-06T02:52:16Z")
> [@](#): > > The Hijack Thread has been hijacked into a non-sequitur thread. You are absolutely right. I see your point totally. Does anyone know if the 😃 is the most popular smilie? ---
**Author:** ![jonpluc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/fbc32d/32.png) [@jonpluc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jonpluc)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2002, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/74 "2002-10-06T14:08:15Z")
What is the most popular smiley that no one ever uses? ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2002, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/75 "2002-10-06T15:56:08Z")
There’s sponge toffee near my keyboard. If I eat it before I go to work I’ll be the Supersonic Salesperson. Hmm. I think Libertarian wins… no, wait! (To JS/07 M 378 This Marble Monument Is Erected by the State) He was found by the Bureau of Statistics to be One against whom there was no official complaint, And all the reports on his conduct agree That, in the modern sense of an old-fashioned word, he was a saint, For in everything he did he served the Greater Community. Except for the War till the day he retired He worked in a factory and never got fired, But satisfied his employers, Fudge Motors Inc. Yet he wasn’t a scab or odd in his views, For his Union reports that he paid his dues, (Our report on his Union shows it was sound) And our Social Psychology workers found That he was popular with his mates and liked a drink. The Press are convinced that he bought a paper every day And that his reactions to advertisements were normal in every way. Policies taken out in his name prove that he was fully insured, And his Health-card shows he was once in a hospital but left it cured. Both Producers Research and High-Grade Living declare He was fully sensible to the advantages of the Instalment Plan And had everything necessary to the Modern Man, A phonograph, a radio, a car and a frigidaire. Our researchers into Public Opinion are content That he held the proper opinions for the time of year; When there was peace, he was for peace: when there was war, he went. He was married and added five children to the population, Which our Eugenist says was the right number for a parent of his generation. And our teachers report that he never interfered with their education. Was he free? Was he happy? The question is absurd: Had anything been wrong, we should certainly have heard. Fern Hill Now as I was young and easy under the apple boughs About the lilting house and happy as the grass was green, The night above the dingle starry, Time let me hail and climb Golden in the heydays of his eyes, And honoured among wagons I was prince of the apple towns And once below a time I lordly had the trees and leaves Trail with daisies and barley Down the rivers of the windfall light. And as I was green and carefree, famous among the barns About the happy yard and singing as the farm was home, In the sun that is young once only, Time let me play and be Golden in the mercy of his means, And green and golden I was huntsman and herdsman, the calves Sang to my horn, the foxes on the hills barked clear and cold, And the sabbath rang slowly In the pebbles of the holy streams. All the sun long it was running, it was lovely, the hay Fields high as the house, the tunes from the chimneys, it was air And playing, lovely and watery And fire green as grass. And nightly under the simple stars As I rode to sleep the owls were bearing the farm away, All the moon long I heard, blessed among stables, the nightjars Flying with the ricks, and the horses Flashing into the dark. And then to awake, and the farm, like a wanderer white With the dew, come back, the cock on his shoulder: it was all Shining, it was Adam and maiden, The sky gathered again And the sun grew round that very day. So it must have been after the birth of the simple light In the first, spinning place, the spellbound horses walking warm Out of the whinnying green stable On to the fields of praise. And honoured among foxes and pheasants by the gay house Under the new made clouds and happy as the heart was long, In the sun born over and over, I ran my heedless ways, My wishes raced through the house high hay And nothing I cared, at my sky blue trades, that time allows In all his tuneful turning so few and such morning songs Before the children green and golden Follow him out of grace, Nothing I cared, in the lamb white days, that time would take me Up to the swallow thronged loft by the shadow of my hand, In the moon that is always rising, Nor that riding to sleep I should hear him fly with the high fields And wake to the farm forever fled from the childless land. Oh as I was young and easy in the mercy of his means, Time held me green and dying Though I sang in my chains like the sea. ---
**Author:** ![jonpluc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/fbc32d/32.png) [@jonpluc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jonpluc)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2002, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/76 "2002-10-06T17:20:27Z")
new rule?? whimsical hijacks should be 500 words or less?? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![jonpluc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/fbc32d/32.png) [@jonpluc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jonpluc)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2002, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/77 "2002-10-06T17:22:40Z")
The batteries in my pants are running low. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7feea3/32.png) [@PatrickM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickM)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2002, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/78 "2002-10-06T18:04:56Z")
Has anybody seen my keys? I could’ve sworn I set them down in here a minute ago… ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2002, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/79 "2002-10-06T19:13:16Z")
I just watched **Panic Room**. ---
**Author:** ![SmoothOperator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SmoothOperator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmoothOperator)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2002, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147/80 "2002-10-07T01:53:27Z")
Yawn. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-official-sdmb-hijack-thread/130147.md?page=5)