# The Old Dopers Retirement Home **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 14, 2015, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101 "2015-07-14T02:14:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/1 "2015-07-14T02:14:11Z")
Spinning off from the thread about being sick and living alone… I think Cecil Adams and the Straight Dope organization should open a retirement facility for Old Dopers. It could be run as a non-profit or a co-op. Think of how great it would be to be guaranteed great conversation any time, games, recipes, people to rant to/with, humor, movie nights, field trips…what a fine crew to spend your golden years with! The care standards would have to be high, because we’re a smart and picky bunch. Maybe partner with a small college as a money maker for them. Some colleges are doing this now. It’s an idea with possibilities! ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/2 "2015-07-14T02:37:18Z")
It could even include a semi-secret dungeon and torture chamber, to be used as the BBQ Pit! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/3 "2015-07-14T02:38:43Z")
Dopers are Everywhere. Where would be a good place to locate this? ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/4 "2015-07-14T03:07:37Z")
It must have a lawn…so we cranky old men can sit out on benches, waving our canes, yelling at kids to get off it! In long-ago days, you sometimes saw cranky old men, sitting on park benches, waving their canes, saying, “It’s all Franklin Roosevelt’s fault! He ruined this country!” I am fixing to be exactly the same kind of guy, saying, “It’s all Ron Reagan’s fault! He ruined this country!” Everyone needs a hobby! ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/5 "2015-07-14T03:26:16Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Dopers are Everywhere. > > Where would be a good place to locate this? Ummm…the International Space Station? Well, the first one needs to be in some place fairly centrally located with moderate weather AND seasons (for those who must have them), although personally, I believe the weather will be permanently fucked up everywhere from now until the end of the world. There will eventually be several locations, with universal residence privileges. So you can spend a few months in, say, Florida, then off to Vermont when the leaves turn, down to Santa Fe for opera season, etc. Or you can just head off to another branch for a change of scenery when you get sick of the same lame stories being told by the same old farts. This could be huge. ---
**Author:** ![dba\_Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c37758/32.png) [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/6 "2015-07-14T13:29:43Z")
So each forum would have its own meeting room? 😕 However, judging from the **Cafe Society** threads, there’d never be a consensus on what foods to serve/how they should be cooked, or what shows to watch on the TV in the day room, ect - it’d be like the worst on-going HOA or PTA meeting ever! :eek: However, if I get to have **Administrator** powers … 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/7 "2015-07-14T13:35:10Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Spinning off from the thread about being sick and living alone… > > I think Cecil Adams and the Straight Dope organization should open a retirement facility for Old Dopers. It could be run as a non-profit or a co-op. Think of how great it would be to be guaranteed great conversation any time, games, recipes, people to rant to/with, humor, movie nights, field trips…what a fine crew to spend your golden years with! The care standards would have to be high, because we’re a smart and picky bunch. > > Maybe partner with a small college as a money maker for them. Some colleges are doing this now. > > It’s an idea with possibilities! Or maybe when a college goes out of business, put their campus to use in this manner. I dibs [Sweet Briar](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweet_Briar_College)! ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/8 "2015-07-14T13:36:52Z")
I like this idea. We’d need something like a college dorm setup from teh swankier colleges I’ve seen. Your own bedroom/bath/study, and a common room/kitchen for everyone. That way, you could go hang out in your bedroom/study when the old farts’ stories got annoying. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/9 "2015-07-14T13:44:40Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > …That way, you could go hang out in your bedroom/study when the old farts’ stories got annoying. 🙂 You mean, “when the **OTHER** old farts’ stories got annoying.” Hehe. It’s being done: [college-affiliated retirement communities.](http://www.campuscontinuum.com/resources.htm) It makes sense for a bunch of reasons-- articles listed after the list of colleges. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/10 "2015-07-14T13:53:54Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > In long-ago days, you sometimes saw cranky old men, sitting on park benches, waving their canes, saying, “It’s all Franklin Roosevelt’s fault! He ruined this country!” > > I am fixing to be exactly the same kind of guy, saying, “It’s all Ron Reagan’s fault! He ruined this country!” Naw, there’s spook points in it if you continue to blame everything on FDR. Or Grover Cleveland. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/11 "2015-07-14T13:54:29Z")
Hmmm, how would that work? Actually seeing other dopers face-to-face on a regular basis could dramatically change the dynamic. I know my face has shortened some interesting discusssions. Also, verbally answering a cry for “Cite!” is much more difficult, as the cryer cannot click on an air link to nit pick the cited info. Separation is key, I think. How about this: \*individual rooms only (“official” couples would be allowed to share a room). Can be decorated to look like Mom’s basement. \*doors locked from the outside, only Mods/Admins have keys. \*the best in wifi and computer hardware (power cables are exposed in the hallway and labeled for the appropriate room. You’ll see why later.) \*time outside the room is highly regulated so that one Doper rarely sees another, except for; \*occasional, scheduled Oldope Fests, when all doors are open and Oldopers are allowed to roam free. \*High voltage electric fence around the entire facility to keep Oldopers from roaming too far. \*banning is accomplished by the Mods cutting the power cable to that room and throwing away the door key. OK, it’s a logistically sound idea. Proceed. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/12 "2015-07-14T13:55:02Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > It’s being done: [college-affiliated retirement communities.](http://www.campuscontinuum.com/resources.htm) It makes sense for a bunch of reasons-- articles listed after the list of colleges. Sounds like a great idea! I’m looking forward to waving my cane and yelling “get off my quad!” at the college kids. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/13 "2015-07-14T14:27:27Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > … Also, verbally answering a cry for “Cite!” is much more difficult, as the cryer cannot click on an air link to nit pick the cited info. … \*Au contraire. \*When my good friend and I meet for coffee, between his iPhone and my kindle, citations fly so fast and thick, you could catch them in a butterfly net. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/14 "2015-07-15T18:29:10Z")
I’m raring to go. But it should be a pleasant climate (leaves out Chicago, doesn’t it) with little snow but no drought. But also near a decent sized city for outside entertainment. ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/15 "2015-07-15T18:40:36Z")
I would love to join your band of cranky octogenarians. I reserve the right to speak as loudly as I like. I will blame it on age-related deafness, but in reality, it will be because I just like to talk loud. Why don’t you all come to Denver? We get just enough winter to make you thoroughly appreciate that string of 100 degree days we get in July or August. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/16 "2015-07-15T18:45:42Z")
If there isn’t some palm trees, a hammock and an ocean view…I’m out! ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/17 "2015-07-15T18:49:14Z")
Don’t forget a pen for the goats, and an aquarium tank for the squid. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/18 "2015-07-15T18:51:53Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > It must have a lawn…so we cranky old men can sit out on benches, waving our canes, yelling at kids to get off it! They could provide kids for just that purpose. You could have different days for different hating: hippies, skateboarders, goths, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/19 "2015-07-15T18:55:02Z")
Imagine the aerobic exercise possibilities of daily rants about, oh, people not picking up after their pets, tipping, vaccines… And you don’t need an instructor or equipment! ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101/20 "2015-07-15T19:56:41Z")
I do indeed want to retire to an intentional community of some sort, so keep me in mind if you’re getting anywhere close to a critical mass on this notion. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-old-dopers-retirement-home/725101.md?page=2)