# The one that got away **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 3, 2010, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770 "2010-06-03T14:30:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/21 "2010-06-04T01:37:35Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > If I’m a cop chasing a burglar and he escapes and I exclaim “he got away!” nobody is going to say “he can’t get away if you didn’t have him to begin with.” I don’t have a problem with the OP’s usage. I don’t know if that’s the correct analogy - more like a cop standing on the curb watching the burglar run by, wondering all the while whether or not he should pursue said burglar. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/22 "2010-06-04T01:44:57Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > If I’m a cop chasing a burglar and he escapes and I exclaim “he got away!” nobody is going to say “he can’t get away if you didn’t have him to begin with.” I don’t have a problem with the OP’s usage. Okay, first of all, are you in every thread? Second, it’s an expression. Yes, if someone mugs me and runs off with my purse, it’s safe to say he “got away.” But that’s not what “the one who got away” means for most people. The phrase generally refers to someone you had, or someone you nearly had, but let go of. It was a bit of surprise to read this thread and see that some people thought of their ones who got away as people they sat down next to uninvited as restaurants, and made awkward conversation with. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/23 "2010-06-04T04:33:16Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Three little words that every woman longs to hear: “May I sit?” Do you honest to goodness believe this? PS: **MeanOldLady** , I always thought it was someone you knew (and probably even dated) but they got away from you. ---
**Author:** ![bink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/439d5e/32.png) [@bink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bink)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/24 "2010-06-04T05:03:43Z")
> [@Silver\_Fire](#): > > Anyway, sometimes you do get them back. Rare but wonderful. She’s on the couch over there. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/25 "2010-06-04T10:22:40Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Do you honest to goodness believe this? In that particular case? Yes, I believe it. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/26 "2010-06-04T10:35:12Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > I don’t know if that’s the correct analogy - more like a cop standing on the curb watching the burglar run by, wondering all the while whether or not he should pursue said burglar. Yeah, my analogy was flawed. The pursuit is what separated the cops from the OP. Oh well, I tried. 😛 > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Okay, first of all, are you in every thread? I’m Santa Clause and I’m leaving coal in every chimney. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/27 "2010-06-04T10:47:20Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Interesting. I always thought of “The one that got away” as someone you had in the first place, not someone you gazed at longingly from a subway window. With regard to the OP, I suppose I don’t have anyone that got away. I have asked myself, of people who I was in long relationships with, and I truly cared about, “What if one of us tried just a little bit harder?” Me too. One of the most awesome GFs I’ve evr had was a girl I lost to the white dope (cocaign). We had such awesome times together. But once she got carried away with the WD and I started to take a back seat; I had to let her go. Now, I kind of wish that I at _least_ put up a fight for her. Chances are I would have still lost her to the dope but still.. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/28 "2010-06-04T10:53:22Z")
15 years ago. I loved her, she loved me. We were both in relationships with other people at the time. That didn’t stop us. It was wrong but we didn’t care - it felt so right when we were together. As friends, as companions, physically, everything. She had to leave the country, and called me every day for months after she did. She got involved with someone else after a while; she asked my permission to do so, and I granted it. She came back with him about a year later and we met in a bar - the same bar where things had first happened between us. Our feelings hadn’t diminished an iota - one look into her eyes was all it took for me to know. We had an awkward conversation, with him sitting there glowering. Then they walked out of the bar and we lost touch forever. Not only does she have a Chinese name, she has a very common Chinese name. I will never find her. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/29 "2010-06-04T12:01:12Z")
The _one_ who got away? I’ve had so many get away and I still sometimes think about them. But not as often as I used to, now that I’m married… ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/30 "2010-06-04T12:05:52Z")
If you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/31 "2010-06-04T13:01:37Z")
Regrets, I’ve had a few … ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/32 "2010-06-04T13:10:19Z")
But then again, too few to mention. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/33 "2010-06-04T13:28:56Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > PS: **MeanOldLady** , I always thought it was someone you knew (and probably even dated) but they got away from you. As long as “someone you knew” doesn’t mean “somehow you made eye contact with while jogging,” I’d say this definition works. > [@tdn](#): > > In that particular case? Yes, I believe it. Why do you think this? ---
**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/34 "2010-06-04T13:31:06Z")
> [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](#): > > Regrets, I’ve had a few … 🆒 My guy that got away was really my just a hostage and I’m glad today I set him free. Memories, Like the corners of my mind… ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/35 "2010-06-04T13:39:25Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Why do you think this? I saw it in her face. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/36 "2010-06-04T13:44:13Z")
I don’t have a response for that. What I would like to know is if you believe that women usually want to hear those three magic words, that is, that they would be pleased if strangers were to seat themselves next to them at restaurants? If so, why do you think that? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/37 "2010-06-04T13:48:39Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > What I would like to know is if you believe that women usually want to hear those three magic words, that is, that they would be pleased if strangers were to seat themselves next to them at restaurants? If so, why do you think that? When I said “every woman” I was being hyperbolic. Lighten up a little. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/38 "2010-06-04T13:50:38Z")
I didn’t think you meant every single woman on planet Earth, but I was left with the impression that you meant many women. Apparently you didn’t, and only meant the one in whose eyes you saw the desire for you to sit next to her. Fair enough. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/39 "2010-06-04T14:19:57Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Okay, first of all, are you in every thread? Second, it’s an expression. Yes, if someone mugs me and runs off with my purse, it’s safe to say he “got away.” But that’s not what “the one who got away” means for most people. The phrase generally refers to someone you had, or someone you nearly had, but let go of. It was a bit of surprise to read this thread and see that some people thought of their ones who got away as people they sat down next to uninvited as restaurants, and made awkward conversation with. I have to agree with the \*\*MeanOldLady \*\*here. We aren’t talking about any sort of real interaction or relationship in any sense of the word. People are just projecting their fantasies on to some random girl they came across. Or they are ascribing too much importance to a minor and inconsequential interaction. It’s actually a little creepy. ---
**Author:** ![silk1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@silk1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silk1976)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770/40 "2010-06-04T15:31:51Z")
For me its the entirety of my high school years that got away. At the time, I was too shy, no balls, didn’t want to make waves, never sure whether they were flirtatious with everyone or just flirting with me, and always doubtful of what they might see in _me_. I suppose it didn’t help that the two times I actually gathered up the balls to do/say something that I got rejected. One of them was just a regular ole’ crush, with no indications that she was interested in me - so the end result was not too big a surprise. But the other was different because I felt like there was definitely something there. But for the most part, it was inaction on my part that led to waning interest on their part, with me thinking ‘Damnit, I’m such an idiot’. So no, you’re not alone. Ultimately, I end up thinking what **Cat Fight** brought up - that at this point it is the leftover _idea_ that makes me want to kick myself - because it’s purely a fantasy world where everything is perfect and there are no arguments. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-that-got-away/541770.md?page=3)