# The one thing your spouse does that drives you nuts? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 15, 2011, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147 "2011-07-15T17:31:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2011, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/121 "2011-07-24T22:52:32Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > That’s [not exactly a habit](http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/restless_legs/detail_restless_legs.htm). Well, in my husband’s case, it is not RLS, which I actually have, but only at night. Sometimes he’s tapping his foot, but just as often he’s drumming his fingers or tapping a pencil. He just fidgets. And even if it was RLS, it would still drive me crazy. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/122 "2011-07-25T00:09:33Z")
> [@doreen](#): > > You obviously don’t know any of that type.My husband does the same thing. Bad things will happen if someone else does the work. If I hire someone he’ll complain " Why’d you spend the money , I TOLD you I would do it , if I wanted to hire someone, I can get a better deal than you can ". If I ever want to kill him, I’ll hire a contractor on my own - he’ll get so mad he will have a stroke. If someone does it for free, he might react as my uncle did- after 10 years of no walls in the living room my cousin and his friends put up sheetrock, so his sister could have one room to take wedding pictures in . My uncle didn’t talk to them for at least six months. This. In addition to the fact I’m not working right now, so he’d be furious about me spending the money. ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/123 "2011-07-25T00:20:09Z")
Cool! I get a rebuttal! > [@nashiitashii](#): > > I love my husband, but he’s got severe _absent-minded professor syndrome_, so this is where a large portion of my annoyance with him comes. The lack of attention to detail or getting distracted and wandering off bit can get annoying, but he’s pretty awesome otherwise. I have no excuse for this at all. I’ve always been that way, and it can be difficult for me to focus on something that is mundane or uninteresting. I try. > [@nashiitashii](#): > > Are you sure you’re not married to my husband’s biological father? I’ve got some of these behaviors fixed, but there’s no way to eliminate the constant “little random messes” that show up around the house. It’s like we have a Clutter Fairy. Lack of a workshop with air conditioning and TV. I swear, that if I can get that kind of a space I’ll be good. Promise. > [@nashiitashii](#): > > I love my husband dearly, but he has _no clue whatsoever_ as to where things go. He can take them out of their places, but to put them back in the right spot is a miracle in and of itself. Case in point: pens always go in one of two places: in the pen caddy I’ve got at my desk, or somewhere on his desk. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve spent 15 minutes or more looking for a pen/screwdriver/batteries/etc. Mind you, I can’t remember where he chose to store the batteries 80% of the time, but really, we have about 20 screwdrivers in this house somewhere, and if I don’t make sure one of them is findable by me, I have _no idea whatsoever_ where he puts them because it’s almost never the same place twice.\* I use the “home is wherever I put it down” method. That’s because I can remember with uncanny accuracy where i put something. Except my sandals. I can never find those bastards. When you move things, I might has well been tossed into an parallel universe. > [@nashiitashii](#): > > I play hide and seek with the laundry on laundry days, which means emptying the laundry bins, looking at the pile of clothes next to the bed, checking the bathrooms for discarded clothes, and under his desk for the pile of Incredibly Dirty Socks. > \*On the “nothing has a permanent home” issue: this leads to “Honey, do you know where my [things] are?” and me wondering where the hell he put them this time. I also am frequently asking where the dishcloth and scissors are, even though we have multiples of both items. When one pair disappears, we go hunting for another pair; we have about five pairs of scissors, and only two at any given time are in a “found” location. Don’t get me started on how many times he’ll bypass the “you can use these on anything” scissors and head straight for the fabric scissors… :mad: Okay, I totally do this. In fairness though, the fabric scissors look _exactly_ like the heavy duty kitchen scissors that I like to use and can never find beceuse someone fails to put them back in the second drawer where she trained me to look for them. **Nashiitashii** only has a few minor quirks. She is unable to understand the concept of basic physics as it relates to tail gaiting. I am going to die one day, and I will haunt you. :mad: She also likes to use our antique opium bed as a laundry folding area. It is the one swank ass piece of cool furniture we own! Stop covering it in socks and panties! Additionally, she often picks up a story in the middle of it without telling me who is involved or what she is talking about. Other than that she’s pretty freaking awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/124 "2011-07-25T00:41:52Z")
My current SO is awesome and she enjoys doing the laundry while I’m at work. The thing is, 90% of the time she’ll forget to hang it out to dry. Also, she will forget to tell me she didn’t hang the clothes. She lives and works a few hours away, so after she goes back to her place, I’ll foolishly assume laundry is taken care of until maybe a day later I go to do my own load and find a mildly mildewed mess. Blech! ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/125 "2011-07-25T04:37:58Z")
…so I’ll just say “gum chewing”. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/126 "2011-07-25T13:25:04Z")
This doesn’t exactly fit into the OP, but it’s close enough and I find it amusing. A friend told me once that her husband dropped a glass bottle in their basement and did not sweep up the broken glass, he just left it there. Their basement is unfinished and they don’t go down there all that often, maybe to do laundry and whatever. So, she gets pissed off and decides she’s not going to clean up his mess; she just starts wearing shoes whenever she goes downstairs. In fact, she places a pair of shoes on the bottom step so she can slip them on before proceeding through the broken glass minefield. Shortly thereafter, she notices a pair of _his_ shoes on the bottom step. That’s right. Nobody cleaned up the glass. Instead, they just put on footwear before walking into the basement. I’ve lost touch with her so I don’t know how (or if) the stand-off ever ended, but it had been going on for more than six months at that point. mmm ---
**Author:** ![BetsQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BetsQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BetsQ)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/127 "2011-07-25T16:16:59Z")
My husband is apparently unaware that light switches have multiple functions. He has full grasped that you can use them to turn lights on, but the ability to also use the light switch to turn lights off seems to have eluded him. There are other issues, too, around driving and dishwasher loading in particular, but leaving the lights on indefinitely is the one that really gets my goat to a disproportionate degree every time. And by “every time,” I mean twice a day when I turn off the light he left on in the closet, and every single freaking time he goes into the basement. It’s just not that hard to turn off a light. Why can’t he do it??? ---
**Author:** ![phreesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@phreesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phreesh)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/128 "2011-07-25T17:53:41Z")
Two things 1. mission creep. I’ll be heading to the kitchen and she’ll ask for a glass of water in addition to the glass I’m getting. Fine. Slightly annoying, but fine. I get two steps. “Oh, and some chips.” Sigh. Fine. I guess I can put them under my arm. Two more steps. “And put the dishes in the dishwasher while you’re there.” And and and. God, I hate that. 2. No trust. This is a biggie. We have two kids and I’m constantly getting, “Don’t let them play on the road. Don’t forget to feed them. Don’t let them throw rocks at each other.” Etc, etc. Really? DON’T let the kids die? Thank God you told me. And it’s not just the kids. It’s EVERTTHING. Don’t forget to go to work. Don’t forget to eat breakfast. Don’t forget sunscreen. Man, I hate that. ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/129 "2011-07-25T19:42:53Z")
> [@BetsQ](#): > > My husband is apparently unaware that light switches have multiple functions. He has full grasped that you can use them to turn lights on, but the ability to also use the light switch to turn lights off seems to have eluded him. There are other issues, too, around driving and dishwasher loading in particular, but leaving the lights on indefinitely is the one that really gets my goat to a disproportionate degree every time. And by “every time,” I mean twice a day when I turn off the light he left on in the closet, and every single freaking time he goes into the basement. It’s just not that hard to turn off a light. Why can’t he do it??? My husband just installed a motion sensing switch in the garage this weekend. He made the whole process look super easy (but he is an incredibly handy person) and it was a relatively inexpensive Home Depot purchase. Now the light automatically goes on when we walk into the garage and turns itself off after a set period of time without motion. Might be worth putting one in your closet and the basement? ---
**Author:** ![Smurfie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@Smurfie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smurfie)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/130 "2011-07-25T20:11:47Z")
That I can never have outside air in my house. In the winter, of course, has to be heated. In the summer…its too hot unless it isn’t then it’s too cold. If the tempature is beautiful…then it is too humid. In the Spring…allergies…have to keep house closed up and use AC In the fall…all the above. If, on the rare occasions that the windows can be opened up (very rare) then they have to be closed up at night or someone will use them to get in. Sigh. I love my wife. However, I miss outside air. Before I was married I rarely used AC. ---
**Author:** ![taxi78cab](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@taxi78cab](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taxi78cab)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/131 "2011-07-25T22:41:41Z")
He makes this sucking noise with his teeth whenever he’s angry, frustrated, bored, etc. It drives me batty. All of your stories are making me really appreciate the fact that I have a wonderful husband! Yeah, there are lights left on once in a while and socks left around occasionally. But we both want the windows open as much as possible, we agree pretty well on what temperature to keep the house, he gets up enough after I do that the snooze button happens after I get up, projects get done so we don’t have gaping holes in the ceiling. he’s technically savvy and helps me with computer/smart phone problems, he’s a good driver, etc., etc. He’d be perfect if it weren’t for the %$&\*# tooth sucking noise. ---
**Author:** ![Chopper9760](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cdc98d/32.png) [@Chopper9760](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chopper9760)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/132 "2011-07-25T22:50:27Z")
Wow, I cannot believe the number of people who have to put up with the “could you bring me” crap. Unreal. Get off your ass, get it yourself. You’re all saints. And of course the house should be kept colder, I hate the heat 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/133 "2011-07-26T01:00:21Z")
> [@Acid\_Lamp](#): > > I use the “home is wherever I put it down” method. That’s because I can remember with uncanny accuracy where i put something. Except my sandals. I can never find those bastards. When you move things, I might has well been tossed into an parallel universe. This does not work when two people share the same resources. Please to be learning one spot for things. > [@](#): > > Okay, I totally do this. In fairness though, the fabric scissors look _exactly_ like the heavy duty kitchen scissors that I like to use and can never find beceuse someone fails to put them back in the second drawer where she trained me to look for them. You’re so full of crap. All of my makeup brushes have black handles, but I can tell the difference between a small brush and a large one. [Kitchen shears](http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-57494260/stock-photo-kitchen-scissors-isolated-on-white-background.html) don’t look like [sewing scissors](https://www.heimerdingercutlery.com/images/gns2_gingherblackscissor_x.jpg). At least you mostly leave my hair cutting scissors alone. :dubious: > [@](#): > > **Nashiitashii** only has a few minor quirks. She is unable to understand the concept of basic physics as it relates to tail gaiting. I am going to die one day, and I will haunt you. :mad: She also likes to use our antique opium bed as a laundry folding area. It is the one swank ass piece of cool furniture we own! Stop covering it in socks and panties! Additionally, she often picks up a story in the middle of it without telling me who is involved or what she is talking about. Other than that she’s pretty freaking awesome. This one makes me laugh-- I do leave piles of folded panties wherever I stop to fold laundry. I just kind of forget to put it away, but it seems like we have a neverending laundry pile. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/134 "2011-07-26T01:11:25Z")
> [@doreen](#): > > You obviously don’t know any of that type. Yes, and no. I mud a wall better than anyone I know, and I will divorce my spouse for hiring someone again (What’s the worst part of drywall? Cleaning up the dust. What do they always skimp at? Cleaning up the dust.) Why am I so good? I can spend a week doing it for two hours a day. I’m good, but I am slow. > [@](#): > > If I ever want to kill him, I’ll hire a contractor on my own - he’ll get so mad he will have a stroke. That’s a frighteningly good plan, ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/135 "2011-07-26T01:51:02Z")
> [@j66](#): > > Yes, and no. I mud a wall better than anyone I know, and I will divorce my spouse for hiring someone again (What’s the worst part of drywall? Cleaning up the dust. What do they always skimp at? Cleaning up the dust.) Why am I so good? I can spend a week doing it for two hours a day. I’m good, but I am slow. Not the same type at all. It wouldn’t bother me (or probably anyone else) if my husband didn’t want to hire someone , saw that the work needed to be done and took a week at 2 hours a day to do the job. So far, spackling and painting two walls of our rather small bedroom has taken a couple of months, and that’s after the couple of years I had to wait for him to start. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/136 "2011-07-26T01:58:17Z")
There are a few not-insignificant kitchen things that bug me. One is cleaning up after me when I’m not done. I go to get something out of the oven and can’t find the oven mitt. I look around, confused. Oh, he put it back in the cabinet even though dinner’s not even close to done. I need the milk for multiple items. I use it, move on to something else, now item #2 is ready for the milk. Where is it? Back in the refrigerator. Basically I hate being messed with when I’m cooking. Please don’t come over to the skillet I’m using, pick it up, and toss the vegetables around. It makes me feel as though he doesn’t think I’m capable of cooking correctly by myself (when of course the real motivation, I realize in my less prickly moments, is that he wants to help…) Also, there is no Brita fairy who refills the Brita pitcher. That said, I’m sure any list he could make about me would be mortifying. I think I would bug the ever-loving shit out of myself if I were married to me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/137 "2011-07-26T02:32:33Z")
> [@doreen](#): > > Not the same type at all. It wouldn’t bother me (or probably anyone else) if my husband didn’t want to hire someone , saw that the work needed to be done and took a week at 2 hours a day to do the job. So far, spackling and painting two walls of our rather small bedroom has taken a couple of months, and that’s after the couple of years I had to wait for him to start. And that is why we bought a house with one more room than we needed, so we would never be inconvenienced or rushed. This house even has two stairways. ---
**Author:** ![Marconi\_N.Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Marconi\_N.Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marconi_N.Cheese)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/138 "2011-07-26T03:20:12Z")
My wife couldn’t turn a light off to save the universe. She pays the bill but it still bugs me. You’d think twenty years of mentioning it would sink in but apparently it never will, so l try not to harp on it anymore. I’m incredibly lucky and I don’t take it for granted. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/139 "2011-07-26T05:35:14Z")
> [@j66](#): > > Yes, and no. I mud a wall better than anyone I know, and I will divorce my spouse for hiring someone again (What’s the worst part of drywall? Cleaning up the dust. What do they always skimp at? Cleaning up the dust.) Why am I so good? I can spend a week doing it for two hours a day. I’m good, but I am slow. Slow is one thing…but four years is a bit excessive. He really doesn’t know what he’s doing, and has about an inch of dried mud hanging off the ceiling. It’s not easy to sand overhead under the best of conditions, and he has so much excess mud up there I wouldn’t try it now without a grinder. His latest - we had to get a new air conditioner for the office/cat room. We installed it last Thursday. The old one is still sitting in the cat room. I’m wondering how long it will take before he remembers it - I can’t lift it alone or it would already be gone. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147/140 "2011-07-26T08:24:02Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Please look at my follow up reply post to Vihaga. I already addressed this. Sorry, I saw it, but by the time I saw it I was out of time to edit :o [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-thing-your-spouse-does-that-drives-you-nuts/589147.md?page=8)