# The one trait/habit not acceptable in a potential SO **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 27, 2002, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151 "2002-10-27T20:38:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/1 "2002-10-27T20:38:15Z")
If you were looking for a potential SO, what one habit or personailty trait would turn you off to that person? For me: Habit: smoking. I thoroughly despise smoking. The smell, the damage it does to people and property. Trait: racism/bigotry. I could not love a person who stupidly hates others based on religion, nationality, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/2 "2002-10-27T20:42:15Z")
VD ---
**Author:** ![frazeb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@frazeb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frazeb)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/3 "2002-10-27T21:54:44Z")
People who are rude to people who they think are “beneath” them. This can be easily seen in how they treat waiters in restaurants… Also (and somewhat attached to this) is somebody who is unnceccsarily high maintenence. ---
**Author:** ![AntaresJB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AntaresJB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AntaresJB)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/4 "2002-10-27T22:28:11Z")
Argh, I can think of several, actually… does that make me excessively picky? Definitely those named in the OP, smoking is awful, and it would be impossible for me to love a racist… but **frazeb** has a good point too with the rudeness thing, and I don’t know if I could deal with a neat freak, I’m too casual and disorganized… and anyone without an appreciation for music, cuz music is my life. And anyone who hates cats or other animals. and anyone with any of those sexist “women belong in the kitchen” ideas. And maybe anyone who’s dead set on having lots and lots of kids, cuz I plan to be child-free. Stuff like that… woah, I sound really picky. Maybe this is why I don’t date much. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/5 "2002-10-27T22:32:50Z")
Habit: Smoking, bad manners in general Trait: I don’t like people who aren’t nice. ---
**Author:** ![PhilAlex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/839c29/32.png) [@PhilAlex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PhilAlex)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/6 "2002-10-27T22:36:03Z")
Short Term Thinkers. This gets rid of racists, smokers, drug users, disease riddled, um, people. I like women who like books. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/7 "2002-10-27T22:46:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by frazeb \* > \*\*People who are rude to people who they think are “beneath” them. This can be easily seen in how they treat waiters in restaurants… Also (and somewhat attached to this) is somebody who is unnceccsarily high maintenence. \*\* I totally agree. I have a deep mistrust of people who are ego-centric. I mean, shit, they spend all their time thinking about themselves instead of me. How freak’n selfish is that? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/8 "2002-10-27T22:58:48Z")
I really don’t think could cohabit with someone who was a proven murderer of cohabitees. Just a personal quirk. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/9 "2002-10-27T23:51:08Z")
I go along with “no murderers”. Also, I don’t know if I understand ANY women, but the ones who become groupies of serial killers totally FREAK ME OUT! So, no woman who has tried to marry a convicted killer, either. No smokers, but that might change. I’m about 6 months without a smoke now, so I’m still feeling kind of vulnerable on that front. No women who are unable to accept intellectual disagreement without feeling they are being personally attacked. No STUPID women! No woman who wants me to take care of her, or wants me to make all the important decisions. No woman who wants to be a “housewife”. I need a job, so should she. No woman who has small children, or WANTS to have children with me. Are there any women left? I hope so. ---
**Author:** ![Hickory6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecae2f/32.png) [@Hickory6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hickory6)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/10 "2002-10-28T04:49:08Z")
To quote Dave Barry, someone who’s nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/11 "2002-10-28T05:10:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by frazeb \* > \*\*People who are rude to people who they think are “beneath” them. This can be easily seen in how they treat waiters in restaurants… Also (and somewhat attached to this) is somebody who is unnceccsarily high maintenence. \*\* This IMHO is how she’ll be treating **you** someday. bad traits: Cursing, crack addict, bar hopper, “party girl” good:a girl who can think for herself and is independent ---
**Author:** ![\_ceQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/b9bd4f/32.png) [@\_ceQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_ceQueen)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/12 "2002-10-28T05:20:11Z")
Okay, explain to me what **unnceccsarily high maintenence** means. 'Cause to me it seems to imply that if she’s beautiful and high maintenance she’s out, but ugly and high maintenance – she’s in, because, logically, the worse you look the more maintenance you need, and in that case the high maintenance would not be unnecessary. Well, you know. Logically. ---
**Author:** ![\_ceQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/b9bd4f/32.png) [@\_ceQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_ceQueen)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/13 "2002-10-28T05:23:02Z")
Oh yeah. What I won’t tolerate from a maaan. Habit: womanizing. (or is it a trait?) Trait: not putting me above his parents on the priority list (or is it a habit?) ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/14 "2002-10-28T06:03:31Z")
People who hate smokers. People who chew with their mouth open. Then there’s this guy I met yesterday who, after telling me about his extensive history of drug and alcohol abuse, long arrest record, and history of anger management difficulties told me he ‘wasn’t like that anymore’ but was living at the local VA til he solved his non-existent problems. Yeah, that was a turnoff. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/15 "2002-10-28T06:03:59Z")
Okay, not acceptable for my SO… Habit: definitely smoking. I cannot/will not date a girl who smokes. I’m not too fond of that flavor of ashtray when I kiss her… Trait: Male. (Sorry, I just won’t date one of those… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/16 "2002-10-28T06:04:51Z")
People who hate smokers. People who chew with their mouth open. Then there’s this guy I met yesterday who, after telling me about his extensive history of drug and alcohol abuse, long arrest record, and history of anger management difficulties said he ‘wasn’t like that anymore’ but was living at the local VA til he solved his non-existent problems. Yeah, that was a turnoff. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/17 "2002-10-28T06:47:11Z")
Dealbreakers - Smoking- not because they’re bad or evil - I just can’t stand the smell and smoke. Lack of intellectual curiosity Inability to use perfume in reasonable amounts. Dislikes Children Can’t intellectually disagree without getting emotional and personally offended Casual use of foul language ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/18 "2002-10-28T07:07:06Z")
Gosh…there’s alot. I feel pretty strongly about the “no killing” thing, gotta admit. Choice between murderer and smoker, I’ll take the smoker every time. Also no beating up. No smacking around. No violence of any kind, yeah, that’s it. My number one “no can do” habit is being violent. Trait? Ooooo, hard one. Stupidity is condition, is it also a trait? ---
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/19 "2002-10-28T12:01:08Z")
That are too many to list. It’s probably a lot easier to say what I looked for (and found :)). ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/20 "2002-10-28T12:16:36Z")
People who hate smokers. People who chew with their mouth open. Then there’s this guy I met yesterday who, after telling me about his extensive history of drug and alcohol abuse, long arrest record, and history of anger management difficulties said he ‘wasn’t like that anymore’ but was living at the local VA til he solved his non-existent problems. Yeah, that was a turnoff. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151.md?page=2)