# The one trait/habit not acceptable in a potential SO **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 27, 2002, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151 "2002-10-27T20:38:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/41 "2002-10-30T23:04:54Z")
Here’s one I have been wondering about. In fact, I’m dating her now. She was diagnosed with clinical depression about 1.5 years ago with a history of two attempted suicides around age 19-20 in conjunction with sabotage of a long-term relationship that ended about a year ago, but she claims that things are much better now (post-diagnosis). Currently, age 26, just entering the career workforce, post-college. Should this be a deal-killer? I’ve seen no signs of the problems she disclosed. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/42 "2002-10-30T23:55:38Z")
…first and foremost, being rude to customer service. I’d have to keep myself from bitchslapping the person every time we went out. …passive-aggressive-ness. If you’re moping/sulking, and I go up and ask “what’s wrong?” I don’t want to hear “nothing” in a fake-happy voice. And I especially don’t want to hear from other people that you’re pissed at _me_. …unwillingness to go out and do stuff. Even if it’s just the damned store, or renting a movie. I could not be with someone whose idea of fun is to watch 10 hours of TV a day. Nooo thanks. (Movies, on the other hand… 🙂 ). ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/43 "2002-10-31T02:46:54Z")
Habit: excessive smoking, or drinking. Trait: blatant stupidity, no sense of [sub]perverted[/sub]humor ---
**Author:** ![EasyPhil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47c2d/32.png) [@EasyPhil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EasyPhil)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/44 "2002-10-31T03:36:01Z")
Habit: smoking, drinking, nail biting Trait: Depressed, manic, self centered, rude to the waiter or any other service worker, lack of self love. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/45 "2002-10-31T04:03:37Z")
Plain and simple… dishonesty. That’ll cover quite a bit of grief right there. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/46 "2002-10-31T05:16:18Z")
I couldn’t live with a man who did not know how to make himself happy and would discourage me from doing those things that make me happy. Original quote from HPL: > [@](#): > > "I’ve found that being around people who constantly have a need to tell you that you are wrong about something increase the chance of an “accidental” homicide occuring. That sounds like an interesting thread in itself – how you found out! Bearflag70 (about the girl with depression) Modern medicine can often work miracles with people who have depression once it is diagnosed. ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/47 "2002-10-31T06:41:09Z")
Hmmm… Smoking in itself doesn’t bother me, but I won’t have anyone smoking in my house, so that’s probably a deal-breaker in an SO (though not in a casual hookup [not that I have any of those]). Animal-haters. I’ve got a dog and three cats, and anyone who can’t get along with them isn’t welcome. They’ve been with me a long time (well, the cats have, but even the dog would have been here longer than any potential SO). Overly religious people, to the point of including it in unrelated conversations. People indifferent to music (yes, I have known a few). I’m really into music, and it’s important to me. Evangelistic non-drinkers. I enjoy the odd drink (Wild Turkey over ice currently), and don’t want to be preached to. Someone who won’t dance with me in public. Pretty self-explanatory. People who don’t appreciate good food. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve been known to enjoy fast food and similar things. But if I cook something nice for you, and you refuse to eat it because it’s “too weird”, sayonara. That’s all I can think of for now, but since it’s been a few months since my last date, my experience is somewhat constrained. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/48 "2002-10-31T12:35:32Z")
Dishonesty, players, mind-games, no sense of humor, jobless, no morals, no ambition or goals, no smoking, narrow-minded, tunnel vision, hard-headed, couch potato, one or all of the above will constitute refusal on my part. ---
**Author:** ![Kaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Kaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaya)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151/49 "2002-10-31T23:26:52Z")
being rude dishonesty no sense of humour uncommunicative [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-one-trait-habit-not-acceptable-in-a-potential-so/134151.md?page=2)