# The Ongoing Art Theft Thread – what you gonna steal? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** arts-crafts\ **Created:** [February 24, 2020, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452 "2020-02-24T21:05:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2020, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/1 "2020-02-24T21:05:06Z")
Whenever I go to a gallery, museum etc, I have a game that I play: I’m going to steal one of these works of art – but which one? And I thought it might be an interesting idea to share this game with the board, see if we could keep a record of planned thefts, and share images of the painting/sculpture/photograph/etc. in question. Today Mrs Trep and I were in Tate Britain, and I was playing this game in the Turner/Constable rooms. I have to say I’m not a _huge_ fan of either, and in truth I’ll have loaded the Tate’s entire Dante Gabriel Rossetti collection into the van long before even thinking about Turner or Constable – but that was today’s game. And so, after due consideration, [this](https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/turner-the-sun-of-venice-going-to-sea-n00535) was what I decided to steal. I especially like that Turner’s fogged-out style really lends itself to a barely perceptible view of Venice as the ship heads seawards. And I hope you like it too. So, if you’d like to play the game, whenever you are in the midst of art (and I think we should agree a very wide interpretation of the term) – think about what you would like to steal, and let the rest of us guys know about it. Link us to an image, of course. What have you got? j PS: [Specimen](https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/rossetti-the-beloved-the-bride-n03053) of Dante Gabriel Rossetti’s work. See what I mean? ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2020, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/2 "2020-02-24T21:10:41Z")
When I was at the [MOdP](http://museoroperu.com.pe/) I was pretty sure that with just a screwdriver you could have had anything in the museum. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2020, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/3 "2020-02-24T21:11:26Z")
[Starry Night](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Van_Gogh_-_Starry_Night_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2020, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/4 "2020-02-24T21:28:35Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > [Starry Night](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Van_Gogh_-_Starry_Night_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg). Many years ago I went to a special exhibition of Vinces (as we aesthetes call them) at the Musée d’Orsay and was absolutely stunned. Beautiful and incredibly powerful - and you couldn’t see them without thinking that Vince was deeply, deeply disturbed. An astonishing show. j ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2020, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/5 "2020-02-24T21:34:54Z")
[The Great Wave](https://www.artic.edu/artworks/24645/under-the-wave-off-kanagawa-kanagawa-oki-nami-ura-also-known-as-the-great-wave-from-the-series-thirty-six-views-of-mount-fuji-fugaku-sanjurokkei) not steal but borrow, ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2020, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/6 "2020-02-24T21:39:02Z")
[Militia Company of District II under the Command of Captain Frans Banninck Cocq](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Night_Watch#/media/File:La_ronda_de_noche,_por_Rembrandt_van_Rijn.jpg) Just the thing for the den. Gonna have to raise the ceiling a bit though. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2020, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/7 "2020-02-24T21:43:57Z")
> [@chela](#): > > [The Great Wave](https://www.artic.edu/artworks/24645/under-the-wave-off-kanagawa-kanagawa-oki-nami-ura-also-known-as-the-great-wave-from-the-series-thirty-six-views-of-mount-fuji-fugaku-sanjurokkei) > > not steal but borrow, Our library is currently running an exhibit of pieces by a young painter. There’s a really great copy of _The Great Wave_, a so-so _The Starry Night_ and some variable original stuff. I wouldn’t mind having the copy of _The Great Wave_. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2020, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/8 "2020-02-24T21:45:30Z")
Not art, but… One of the museums around here has on display, among other John Glen artifacts, the slide rule he carried with him on that first flight. If it ever goes missing, I’m probably suspect #1. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2020, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/9 "2020-02-24T21:50:33Z")
Well, if it isn’t strictly art, I want [Willamette](https://www.amnh.org/exhibitions/permanent/the-universe/planets/planetary-impacts/the-willamette-meteorite). ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2020, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/10 "2020-02-24T21:54:16Z")
[Spoonbridge & Cherry,](https://walkerart.org/visit/garden) from the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden. 'course, I’d have to have a house with a yard big enough to hold it, but I figured that’d be provided as part of the deal. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2020, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/11 "2020-02-24T22:20:47Z")
Probably too big for my house, but, for some reason, I love Goya’s “[The Family of the Infante Don Luis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Family_of_the_Infante_Don_Luis#/media/File:La_familia_del_infante_don_Luis.jpg).” So much going on there. ---
**Author:** ![bonzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@bonzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bonzer)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2020, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/12 "2020-02-25T01:10:34Z")
> [@Treppenwitz](#): > > Whenever I go to a gallery, museum etc, I have a game that I play: I’m going to steal one of these works of art – but which one? Alan Bennett - who I believe did a stint as a Trustee of the National Gallery (the great perk of which is giving you access at any time of night) - admitted to similar temptation. I think his line was that as a measure of art appreciation it "owed rather more to Pentonville than Kenneth Clark’'. Something small. Something Dutch. Something from the Mauritshaus? A Vermeer would be presumptuous. And _The Goldfinch_ has already been thought about. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2020, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/13 "2020-02-25T11:36:43Z")
[Winged Victory of Samothrace](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_cniJDQ-Rj9U/THgwj44hJCI/AAAAAAAAA5M/Ae7ur9FWUao/s1600/winged+victory+of+samothrace+via+louvre.png). I’m gonna need a bigger house. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2020, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/14 "2020-02-25T12:04:40Z")
One of the Bosch triptychs. Let’s go with _The Garden of Earthly Delights_, just because I love the density and pure weirdness of the images. Also includes _The Creation of the World_ on the backside. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2020, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/15 "2020-02-25T15:11:19Z")
I’ll have [what Cameron’s having](https://www.theyoungfolks.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/cameron-seurat.jpg)… Seurat’s _L’Apres-Midi…_ A number of writers, including John Hughes, have [explained Cameron’s fixation on the painting](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/f9/fa/09/f9fa0946877457ffec3b44675db8436b--art-museum-closer.jpg)… By the way, has anyone figured out HOW they’ll nab their masterpiece? ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2020, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/16 "2020-02-25T15:42:55Z")
> [@digs](#): > > …By the way, has anyone figured out HOW they’ll nab their masterpiece? In Tate Britain we were with friends; they had their grandson in a buggy. I’m not _quite_ sure how it would have worked, but they were unhappy with the plan anyway. Otherwise, a van out the back, wear work clothes and _look confident_. A couple of weeks ago we were in Malaga and saw the Picasso/Calder exhibition. I never got Picasso at all up to that point, but take a look at the Bull series, in which he [abstracts the image of a bull](https://www.widewalls.ch/picasso-bull/) (scroll ~ two thirds of the way down). Wow. So obviously, I would have to have all of them – that’s why you need a van. Plus the things that impressed me most were Calder’s wire sculptures. I can’t find the one I loved most on line, but [this sort of thing](http://www.sothebys.com/en/auctions/ecatalogue/2011/looking-closely-l11001/lot.6.html). So yes, definitely a van. j ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2020, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/17 "2020-02-25T17:08:44Z")
SO MANY things I’d steal from the Tate. Richard Dadd’s **The Fairy Feller’s Master Stroke;** John Singer Sargent’s **Carnation, Lily, Lily, Rose;** Mark Gertler’s **The Merry Go Round;** Epstein’s **Jacob and the Angel,** for starters. > **[‘The Fairy Feller’s Master-Stroke‘, Richard Dadd, 1855–64 | Tate](https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/dadd-the-fairy-fellers-master-stroke-t00598)** > > ‘The Fairy Feller’s Master-Stroke’, Richard Dadd, 1855–64 > **[‘Carnation, Lily, Lily, Rose‘, John Singer Sargent, 1885–6 | Tate](https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/sargent-carnation-lily-lily-rose-n01615)** > > ‘Carnation, Lily, Lily, Rose’, John Singer Sargent, 1885–6 on display at Tate Britain. > **[‘Merry-Go-Round‘, Mark Gertler, 1916 | Tate](https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/gertler-merry-go-round-t03846)** > > ‘Merry-Go-Round’, Mark Gertler, 1916 on display at Tate Britain. > **[‘Jacob and the Angel‘, Sir Jacob Epstein, 1940–1 | Tate](https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/epstein-jacob-and-the-angel-t07139)** > > ‘Jacob and the Angel’, Sir Jacob Epstein, 1940–1 ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2020, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/18 "2020-02-25T18:26:27Z")
[Guernica](https://uploads0.wikiart.org/00139/images/pablo-picasso/guernica-by-pablo-picasso.jpg). Not only is it the most impressive work of art I’ve ever viewed with my own eyes, but to undertake the theft of something that large would be an epic undertaking (cutting it out of its frame and rolling it up is cheating). ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2020, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/19 "2020-02-25T18:55:08Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > [Guernica](https://uploads0.wikiart.org/00139/images/pablo-picasso/guernica-by-pablo-picasso.jpg). Not only is it the most impressive work of art I’ve ever viewed with my own eyes, but to undertake the theft of something that large would be an epic undertaking (cutting it out of its frame and rolling it up is cheating). Ooh, now you’ve got me thinking of ways that I could get the museum to crate up the art and ship it to me overseas… Hmm, might have to play the long game. Position myself as the only scientist with a boutique spectral analysis lab that can analyze the neutrino decay of a piece of art to see if it’s making museum-goers more susceptible to “sub-atomic mutations”. They’ll send me their largest pieces to avoid thousands of lawsuits. If they ship their masterpieces to my aerie in the Swiss Alps, I’ll guarantee a one week turnaround, and send them a color-coded neutrino analysis Power Point at no extra charge. Which they can show their board members to justify my rates, while they wait for their art to be returned… ---
**Author:** ![Disheavel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@Disheavel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disheavel)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2020, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452/20 "2020-02-25T20:36:44Z")
> [@Treppenwitz](#): > > Today Mrs Trep and I were in Tate Britain, and I was playing this game in the Turner/Constable rooms. I have to say I’m not a _huge_ fan of either, and in truth I’ll have loaded the Tate’s entire Dante Gabriel Rossetti collection into the van long before even thinking about Turner or Constable – but that was today’s game. And so, after due consideration, [this](https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/turner-the-sun-of-venice-going-to-sea-n00535) was what I decided to steal. I’m similar in loving the “blurred” images; however, I would go for Peggy Guggenheim museum’s contribution to my collection: [Russolo’s “Solidity of Fog”](https://arthistoryproject.com/artists/luigi-russolo/solidity-of-fog/#:~:text=). In real life it is a darker blue, to my eye at least, and it’s lack of clarity creates such mystery to my mind of the entire scene! I’ve seen it 3 times and have 2 prints and I see or think something new or pick up on a new detail or nuance every time I gaze upon it. It speaks to me unlike any other piece. Michelangelo’s David is the other piece that just blows my mind but due to its perfection. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-art-theft-thread-what-you-gonna-steal/848452.md?page=2)