# The Ongoing Online Dating Advice Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 27, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978 "2010-05-27T18:50:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 111
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2011, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2202 "2011-09-02T19:30:16Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > That washes off, I hope. Because somebody, somewhere, won’t take it as a joke. And that could make your life difficult. Hmmm, I wonder if maybe I shouldn’t have spray painted that van I saw in front of my house just for this post then. > [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Like \*\*Robot Arm \*\*said! I mean, what are you going to do when you’re swarmed with hordes of children clamoring for their fun-sized chocolate bars? Then we upgrade from the fun size Econonline to a more suitable straight truck. I could even put a small swing set in one of those. ---
**Author:** ![JessMagic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c0e974/32.png) [@JessMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JessMagic)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2203 "2011-09-02T21:31:27Z")
OK, I’ve read through / skimmed most of this thread (phew!), and there’s plenty of good stuff in there. My online dating experience so far: I signed up for Match when I moved to Singapore from the UK two months ago. I basically have one IRL friend in Singapore and he’s happily married and about 55 y.o. In other words, not a good wingman. Normally I’d expect to make friends of “going out” age at work, but that’s not really happened for various reasons. So, with this extremely limited social circle, I thought I’d give online dating a try. So far I’ve only met one person from Match and it went… er… pretty well (!) but I don’t think either of us see a potential long-term partner there. Definitely a potential friend though. I’ve had a bit of fun fielding winks and messages from interested parties, sent a few emails of my own, and I’m now in conversations with four of them. It’s difficult going beyond exchanging conversational emails, to actually proposing meeting IRL, but I’ve done it with one of my contacts, and she responded fairly positively - we’ve got a “meeting” (don’t know what we’re going to do yet!) tentatively arranged for next week sometime. We’ll see what happens. Wish me luck! PS I’ve seen Radiohead live **twice**. Yah boo sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2011, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2204 "2011-09-02T21:48:44Z")
Good luck, **Jess**! ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2205 "2011-09-03T19:13:46Z")
I got a person with an A-list account to look at my OkC profile and it averages over 3 stars. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2206 "2011-09-04T06:42:36Z")
Funny, I was skimming the last few pages, and I know that OkC is short for OkCupid, but when _Creep_ by Radiohead was referenced, I couldn’t help but parse that as OK Computer. Of course _Creep_ is on Pablo Honey, though. But still… Also, it’s made the rounds (especially since the trailer for The Social Network – heh), yet this [choral cover of _Creep_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axrqVfuGHh0) by Scala is pretty fucking special, IMHO. Carry on! /aside ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2207 "2011-09-06T05:26:30Z")
Interesting followup. The 99% match from Milwaukie that didn’t call me deleted/disabled her account. ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2208 "2011-09-06T12:58:59Z")
Well I can say that my date went well over the weekend. We did coffee and sat there for an hour or so then went for a good walk around the city. Even though I grew up there I had never done a walk around the new area of town, plus they had a ‘First Night Out’ which is something I’ve never heard of before but they had all the stores and such open and lots of bands and stuff playing in the streets. The best part is we’re actually going out again this weekend. So I’m glad that even though the first message she sent me didn’t have any questions I went with it. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2209 "2011-09-06T20:58:23Z")
Yay, **Ed**! Good luck. Sorry, **IC** –my WAG is she either got serious with someone else or realized she’s too messed up to date right now. ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2210 "2011-09-06T23:24:17Z")
She’s probably too messed up to date right now. She just got back in town in June after a year and a half in Europe. Most of her possessions were still en route. Unless she hooked back up with an old flame, I doubt she found someone else. I broke my “don’t initiate messages with new women until I get my shit together” rule. I searched for “Richard Thompson,” one of my favorite artists. I found a 36 year old babe in Maryland who listed him under her music; her screen name was a reference to one of his songs. Needless to say, we were a 96% match. I gave her a top 5 of my favorite RT songs(actually top 6, I included an honorable mention.) I asked for her top 5. She looked at my profile, but didn’t reply back. ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2211 "2011-09-07T00:23:05Z")
I try to show, not tell in my profile. One of the first things I mention is I bought a math textbook for fun. I had no idea where it was though. I spent Labor Day weekend at my dad’s house and I found the missing mother fucker(Discrete Mathematics with Applications, 2nd Edition, Susanna S. Epp, 1995.) Fun math times ahoy! ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2212 "2011-09-07T00:53:48Z")
> [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > I try to show, not tell in my profile. One of the first things I mention is I bought a math textbook for fun. I had no idea where it was though. I spent Labor Day weekend at my dad’s house and I found the missing mother fucker(Discrete Mathematics with Applications, 2nd Edition, Susanna S. Epp, 1995.) Fun math times ahoy! Huh, Discrete Math must have been one of the few math books I sold back to the school (I just checked). I still have Advanced Calculus/Real Analysis though. Odd, Calc 3 (Calculus in multiple variables) was my favorite class in college, Advanced Calc (Real Analysis) OTOH, was the low point on getting my Math degree. My Advanced Calc teacher, and remember, this was a 400 level class, failed the entire class except for one kid, he was in high school. My Calc III teacher, would bring his guitar to school and sing blues songs to the class. In fact, one time him and the physics teacher got together and did Brown Eyed Girl during the Physics Lecture. He was my favorite teacher ever. I’ve actually thought about going to the local tech school and retaking Calculus just for kicks. I’ve forgotten most of it and what I did learn was learned in the typical college way. Between getting high and hoping I could get back to the dorms in time for Dawson’s Creek or Ally McBeal. It wasn’t until 3 and 400 level classes that I started to take it seriously and my foundation was a bit shaky at that point. But I always enjoyed it. ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2213 "2011-09-07T01:25:47Z")
The last math class I took was Vector Calculus, which was the the first math class I failed. I never actually took a Discrete Math class. I picked up this book at the public library’s annual used book sale a long ways back. I just noticed it has a Portland Community College - Sylvania campus sticker on the spine. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2214 "2011-09-07T01:38:08Z")
> [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > The last math class I took was Vector Calculus, which was the the first math class I failed. I never actually took a Discrete Math class. I picked up this book at the public library’s annual used book sale a long ways back. I just noticed it has a Portland Community College - Sylvania campus sticker on the spine. I still remember in Calc III when we more or less mastered the area under a curve and the teacher said something along the lines of “Okay, now we’re going to rotate this around the X axis so we have to multiply it by pi\*” My mind was fucking blown… I fell in love with math all over again, the implications this had, all that calculus had, in one instant, such a huge payoff. I loved the fact that everyone was so confused and for me it just ‘clicked’ it made so much sense, it was so intuitive. Suddenly the formula for a cylinder made sense which was always a given and I’ll bet we’ll derive that goofy sphere formula soon too ((4/3)pi r[sup]3[/sup]?) And then doing the same thing with the area between two curves…my god, why didn’t I see this coming, it was so easy. Now, three variables got a little trickier (remember saddle points) and 4 was harder because you couldn’t draw them, but once you could ‘visualize’ 4 variables, there was no limit as long as you had enough paper. Diff Eq on the other hand, never clicked for me. I think I got a B, but is was a semester of going through the motions, same with stats. \*yeah yeah, it’s probably wrong, like I said, I forgot most of it. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2215 "2011-09-07T06:46:04Z")
You should make a book cover out of a paper bag for it like they made us do in high school, and label it “Discreet Math Book”. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2216 "2011-09-07T06:51:58Z")
> [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > Fun math times ahoy! > [@Joey\_P](#): > > I still have Advanced Calculus/Real Analysis though. Odd, Calc 3 (Calculus in multiple variables) was my favorite class in college,… > [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > The last math class I took was Vector Calculus,… > [@Joey\_P](#): > > My mind was fucking blown… I fell in love with math all over again,… Get a room, you two. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2217 "2011-09-07T18:45:26Z")
I’m 45. Is it reasonable to not want to date _grand_mothers? I’ve got a note in my OkC profile that reads “Please don’t be … a grandmother”, and I’ve had a few women write just to ask why I wasn’t considering grannies. The big issues for me: I’m nowhere even near that stage in my life yet, and the bulk of grandmothers in their late 30s and early 40s tend to be … well, “rustic”. I’m open-minded towards dating older women, but again there’s life stage issues with grandmothers in their early 50s. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2218 "2011-09-07T18:51:53Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Get a room, you two. He’s on to us. Do you think the ‘it’s just a song’ thing will work again? ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2219 "2011-09-07T19:12:30Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > I’ve got a note in my OkC profile that reads “Please don’t be … a grandmother”, and I’ve had a few women write just to ask why I wasn’t considering grannies. It’s perfectly reasonable to not want to date \*whomever \*you don’t want to date. Anyone who messages you to tell you you’re wrong to restrict [Group X] from your dating pool is just proving they’re \*too fucking dumb \*to read the giant sign on your chest, which \*you \*were helpful enough to display, that says “I AM A HORRIBLE MATCH FOR YOU.” > [@Joey\_P](#): > > He’s on to us. Do you think the ‘it’s just a song’ thing will work again? There’s a math rock joke just dying to be made here. ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2220 "2011-09-07T19:28:26Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > I’m 45. Is it reasonable to not want to date _grand_mothers? I’ve got a note in my OkC profile that reads “Please don’t be … a grandmother”, and I’ve had a few women write just to ask why I wasn’t considering grannies. The big issues for me: I’m nowhere even near that stage in my life yet, and the bulk of grandmothers in their late 30s and early 40s tend to be … well, “rustic”. I’m open-minded towards dating older women, but again there’s life stage issues with grandmothers in their early 50s. There’s ways to get what you’re looking for without being negative. The classic example: instead of saying “no fatties,” say “I want someone who is fit.” instead of saying “no grannies,” maybe explain what stage of life you are going through in a way that shows grannies wouldn’t be a good fit. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2221 "2011-09-07T19:46:14Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > There’s a math rock joke just dying to be made here. The teacher I mentioned above used to come in with his guitar and sing “The Calculus Blues” > [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > There’s ways to get what you’re looking for without being negative. The classic example: instead of saying “no fatties,” say “I want someone who is fit.” instead of saying “no grannies,” maybe explain what stage of life you are going through in a way that shows grannies wouldn’t be a good fit. “I’m looking for someone without kids” would probably do a pretty good job of ruling out grannies" The worst one I ever saw was > [@](#): > > Oh and to you single dads. I’m looking to talk to men with NO KIDS. For you to have pics of you with your kids doesn’t show me that you’re some sweet caring loving guy. It just shows me that you were too stupid to wear a condom or keep it in your pants and now you’ve ruined your life. So please, NO SINGLE DADs! Don’t email me telling me what a great guy you think you are because guess what? I DON’T CARE! Go find a single mom! I believe across match and OKC she had something like 4 or 5 profiles all with varying degrees of nastiness and rudeness scattered throughout her summaries. I sometimes wondered if she was pushing an agenda since she saved me as a favorite (and I very clearly have a kid, maybe she was just trying to get people with kids to look at her profile so they would see that message) sometimes I wondered if they were fake profiles and the pictures were actually of someone this person didn’t like and that she was just fucking with her life. OR, that’s really how she felt, but she still liked me anyways since I was married when I had the kid so it didn’t count against me. Who knows, I wasn’t going to find out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978.md?page=110) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978.md?page=112)