# The Ongoing Online Dating Advice Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 27, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978 "2010-05-27T18:50:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 117
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2322 "2011-10-13T19:41:55Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > For the women in the thread, a (work safe) Venn diagram for your enjoyment: [Men](http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/305229_684269750856_8500893_35056960_1857384523_n.jpg) Gosh, that’s not insulting at all, is it? ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2323 "2011-10-13T20:08:42Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Gosh, that’s not insulting at all, is it? The middle should read “Forever Alone”. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2324 "2011-10-13T20:14:56Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Gosh, that’s not insulting at all, is it? Maybe, but fair enough. A saying regarding trying to meet women online I bandied about for a couple years goes, “Sane, attractive, single: pick two.” Both that and the Venn diagram are half joke, half stereotype, and half true. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2325 "2011-10-13T20:35:43Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > The middle should read “Forever Alone”. Is that the current euphemism? It used to be “confirmed bachelor”. > [@Bosstone](#): > > Both that and the Venn diagram are half joke, half stereotype, and half true. Well, I’m not dating guys (I’m not really dating women either, unfortunately), so I can’t really say if there’s any truth to it. I’m just not quite sure if it’s a healthy idea to perpetuate. Jokes don’t usually work if they don’t have a kernel of truth. Don’t we (men and women) have it tough enough already without having to live down the stereotypes before establishing who we are? ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2326 "2011-10-13T20:35:47Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Gosh, that’s not insulting at all, is it? I’m sorry, I thought it was amusing (much like the joke about women below). > [@Bosstone](#): > > Maybe, but fair enough. A saying regarding trying to meet women online I bandied about for a couple years goes, “Sane, attractive, single: pick two.” > > Both that and the Venn diagram are half joke, half stereotype, and half true. The way I’ve heard it is “hot, sane, smart: pick two”. ETA: I would definitely say there’s a kernel of truth to both. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2327 "2011-10-13T20:50:21Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > I’m sorry, I thought it was amusing (much like the joke about women below). Well, I can see the humor in it and I’m not personally offended. I just think there are some things that give a brief laugh, but leave a lingering aftertaste. And dating is tough enough already; I need all the help I can get. > [@](#): > > ETA: I would definitely say there’s a kernel of truth to both. I wonder where I am on the diagram. I’ve narrowed it down to “not gay”. ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2328 "2011-10-13T21:04:23Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Is that the current euphemism? It used to be “confirmed bachelor”. No, Forever Alone is not a euphemism for gay. I swore off dating, online or not, until I got my shit together, or at least until I got another job. I mentioned I’m unemployed and not looking to date in my profile. Yet my online dating has still gone better than my job search. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2329 "2011-10-14T00:35:14Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > For the women in the thread, a (work safe) Venn diagram for your enjoyment: [Men](http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/305229_684269750856_8500893_35056960_1857384523_n.jpg) Yep, I’m a nerd, spot on. Probably not gay… ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2330 "2011-10-14T12:38:19Z")
Tracking off of online dating for a minute, because I need a kick in the pants. I have not, in the past, been someone who has had any luck just meeting women by chance in the course of a day. And now within a week, I have missed two opportunities because it’s taken me 30 seconds too long to figure out how to approach the situation. Need to remind myself that I have nothing to lose, and it doesn’t have to be perfect…especially if the signs of interest are already there. Quick, decisive action, Sicks. Quick, decisive action. Please kick me in the pants, now. ---
**Author:** ![SirRay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@SirRay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SirRay)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2331 "2011-10-14T17:57:55Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > I have not, in the past, been someone who has had any luck just meeting women by chance in the course of a day. And now within a week, I have missed two opportunities because it’s taken me 30 seconds too long to figure out how to approach the situation. > > Need to remind myself that I have nothing to lose, and it doesn’t have to be perfect…especially if the signs of interest are already there. > . Just wondering how you knew these were opportunities for real? In my experience, what I have sometimes taken for subtle signs of interest (although always a bit skeptical), turned out not to be real in the first place. (Insert sad guy smilie here –\> ☹ ) ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2332 "2011-10-14T18:07:23Z")
> [@SirRay](#): > > Just wondering how you knew these were opportunities for real? In my experience, what I have sometimes taken for subtle signs of interest (although always a bit skeptical), turned out not to be real in the first place. (Insert sad guy smilie here –\> ☹ ) Well, I guess I couldn’t know for certain without acting on it. But they were unusual enough that I had the a rare, distinct ‘is this actually going on’ thought. And after running it by a few female friends (and a male friend), they concur that there was _probably_ a good chance they were both interested. So I actually just got off the phone with one of my advisors, and made a pact that I will no let opportunities pass me by…even though I might end up insterting little sad guy smilies in future posts about such encounters. Of course the odds are that my luck for this year has run out :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2333 "2011-10-14T20:08:25Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > And after running it by a few female friends (and a male friend), they concur that there was _probably_ a good chance they were both interested. Could you post a brief description, please? I need to live vicariously through someone. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2334 "2011-10-14T21:45:55Z")
I’m taking a slow weekend. My third date guy hasn’t made any weekend plans with me, and if he can’t be bothered then neither can I. A bit of a bummer, but I was really wondering where that was going to end up going. He’s a big personality, and I can be as well. I was on the fence as to if there was much to it or not. _yawn_ If I don’t hear back from him, I’ll try to find some people to meet next weekend. If I do hear back from him, well his chance at the weekend is shot, but maybe something midweek. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2335 "2011-10-16T01:10:27Z")
Why is every woman on OkC now into roller derby? When did that happen? ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2336 "2011-10-16T01:15:19Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > Why is every woman on OkC now into roller derby? When did that happen? I’ve run across a couple as well… And good for them, I say! Skating’s good for the lower body and is a lower impact exercise than running. Of course, there are the _other_ impacts to worry about. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2337 "2011-10-16T03:34:53Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > I’ve run across a couple as well… > > And good for them, I say! Skating’s good for the lower body and is a lower impact exercise than running. Of course, there are the _other_ impacts to worry about. Just don’t go up a ski lift with a roller-derby competitor in case she demonstrates a hip check. Trust me on that one – I learned the hard way (thank goodness there was a bar to hang onto). ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2338 "2011-10-17T01:02:53Z")
When is it ‘appropriate’ to become Facebook friends? It’s been hinted at before, but it seems to me like that is something that you save until you’re practically a couple. Isn’t it weird to do that right away? ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2339 "2011-10-17T01:52:14Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > When is it ‘appropriate’ to become Facebook friends? It’s been hinted at before, but it seems to me like that is something that you save until you’re practically a couple. > > Isn’t it weird to do that right away? Some people are profligate with their FB friendships. I only have 115 FB friends. Totally depends on the person. If you’re not comfortable with it, don’t do it. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2340 "2011-10-17T03:04:37Z")
> [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > Some people are profligate with their FB friendships. I only have 115 FB friends. Totally depends on the person. If you’re not comfortable with it, don’t do it. Only 115? I don’t even know if I’m in the twenties. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/2341 "2011-10-17T03:56:36Z")
> [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > Some people are profligate with their FB friendships. I only have 115 FB friends. Totally depends on the person. If you’re not comfortable with it, don’t do it. I haven’t profligated with any of my FB friends. Wait… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978.md?page=116) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978.md?page=118)