# The Ongoing Online Dating Advice Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 27, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978 "2010-05-27T18:50:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/221 "2010-06-05T18:10:56Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > There was a thread about this a month ago or so. It was full of atheists or people who knew atheists who had used eHarmony successfully. As much as I love to bash on religion and religious institutions, this doesn’t seem to reflect how eHarmony actually operates. I’unno how they decide who makes the cut; this was probably 3 years ago that I tried to try it out. I do know that I answered all the questions and was told that based on my answers, that eHarmony wouldn’t have any good matches for me and I wasn’t able to use the service. _shrug_ ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/222 "2010-06-05T18:14:36Z")
> [@Rasa](#): > > I’unno how they decide who makes the cut; this was probably 3 years ago that I tried to try it out. I do know that I answered all the questions and was told that based on my answers, that eHarmony wouldn’t have any good matches for me and I wasn’t able to use the service. _shrug_ But unless it explicitly said it was because of your religion I think that’s a poor conclusion to make given the number of atheists who’ve used it successfully. ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2010, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/223 "2010-06-05T18:24:39Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I agree with this 100%. Unfortunately for me, I don’t think I’m particularly photogenic. For every picture you see of me, there are a dozen more that didn’t make the cut- I don’t have the kind of friends who take dozens of pictures of me so I’m left with webcam and self-cellphone shots. Ditto. I’m The Dad, the one who takes the pictures at gatherings & celebrations – so I’m never in any pictures. It’s my personal opinion that, ever since the invention of digital photography, 99.99% of all pictures in the world are self-portraits (or Me & My BFF) taken at arms length. :rolleyes: Actual photography is a dying art. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/224 "2010-06-06T03:21:38Z")
I’ve been having trouble getting people to reply back to me. I’ll send them a message, they’ll respond, then I’ll respond and I’ll never hear from them again. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/225 "2010-06-06T03:24:44Z")
> [@tr0psn4j](#): > > I’ve been having trouble getting people to reply back to me. I’ll send them a message, they’ll respond, then I’ll respond and I’ll never hear from them again. ☹ You most probably aren’t doing anything wrong. That’s just thing the way things are with online dating. People, sometimes, just disappear. ps: Your profile looks great to me. Plenty of information, with lots of humor. Good stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/226 "2010-06-06T03:27:55Z")
Hey, **tr)psn4j**, I am curious about why you didn’t include your ethnicity, but did include your income. You are cute, btw, but about 25 years too young and 3000 miles too far away. 🙂 IMHO, it seems weird to include income. Too little, and it is sad, too much, and you are bragging. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/227 "2010-06-06T03:31:05Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > Hey, **tr)psn4j**, I am curious about why you didn’t include your ethnicity, but did include your income. You are cute, btw, but about 25 years too young and 3000 miles too far away. 🙂 > > IMHO, it seems weird to include income. Too little, and it is sad, too much, and you are bragging. I don’t know why. I’m Armenian but that’s rarely an available option, so I’d probably have to put White. But my skin color is more of a brown than a white. Frankly, it shouldn’t really matter anyway right? I could probably remove the income, I never really put much thought behind it. Just answered the question when it came up. Actually, I’ll remove it right now! ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/228 "2010-06-06T03:35:51Z")
> [@tr0psn4j](#): > > I’ve been having trouble getting people to reply back to me. I’ll send them a message, they’ll respond, then I’ll respond and I’ll never hear from them again. ☹ That’s my current problem with one girl. My suggestion is wait a day or two then send a follow up email, then about a week later send one more along the lines of “I enjoyed talking to you, if you’re still interested, feel free to email me. Hope to hear from you -[name]” The last time I did that, I got a response the next day telling me she had been busy for the last few weeks and it would be easier to do this on the phone. I wrote another email, gave her my phone number and that was the last I heard from her. So then, against my better judgment I sent another “it was nice talking to you” email a few days ago. We’ll see if she responds, but I’m not holding my breath. BTW, this is assuming her first reply to you showed some interest. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/229 "2010-06-06T03:36:15Z")
And of course this thread is active on a Saturday night. No irony there, no sirree. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/230 "2010-06-06T03:43:09Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > And of course this thread is active on a Saturday night. No irony there, no sirree. Hey hey hey…I’m at home with a sick 4 year old. Of course if she wasn’t sick, she’d still be in bed and I’d still be at home, so nevermind. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/231 "2010-06-06T06:51:50Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > And of course this thread is active on a Saturday night. No irony there, no sirree. My favorite radio show is on Saturday nights. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/232 "2010-06-06T12:22:42Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > My favorite radio show is on Saturday nights. Make sure you keep an eye on your lawn…might be some whipper-snappers on it. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/233 "2010-06-06T14:57:45Z")
> [@tr0psn4j](#): > > I’ve been having trouble getting people to reply back to me. I’ll send them a message, they’ll respond, then I’ll respond and I’ll never hear from them again. ☹ This is, by far, my biggest problem. ---
**Author:** ![missouri65](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/74df32/32.png) [@missouri65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missouri65)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/234 "2010-06-06T21:27:39Z")
> [@Rasa](#): > > I’unno how they decide who makes the cut; this was probably 3 years ago that I tried to try it out. I do know that I answered all the questions and was told that based on my answers, that eHarmony wouldn’t have any good matches for me and I wasn’t able to use the service. _shrug_ I had heard that lots of people got that response, so I took their test just to see if I could pass. I tried hard to answer the questions accurately and honestly, but they said they couldn’t help me. I’ve always said that Eharmony said I was undateable. I had a friend who later worked at their call center. When my SO told her I had been rejected, she said that it usually meant that you were either depressed or lying, according to their test. I was neither. But at least now we know why Eharmony thinks we’re unfit to date. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/235 "2010-06-06T21:47:10Z")
Don’t worry guys. You’re just too awesome for eHarmony. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/236 "2010-06-06T22:28:34Z")
I just filled out the job application there because I’m bored and got accepted despite being an atheist that said he has no interest in anything religious, not wanting children, and answering 1 on a lot of questions that would seem pretty pretty important to the types of people the site appeals to. Go me? ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/237 "2010-06-06T23:09:09Z")
Ok so I had an interesting experience this afternoon. A 25 year old guy (I’m 39). IM’d me on [pof.com](http://pof.com) and it was pretty boring at first (talking about the Yankee game and DMB show on Friday) then we started flirting and then we were talking about sex and it got increasingly…intense. Starting with crazy stuff we’ve done in the past to favorite positions. So my question is…what constitutes cyber sex? This is all new to me. :eek: I figured it was harmless. He’s 25 for god’s sake. It’s not like we’re going to meet each other and I have no intention to. I’m not online dating to find casual sex. Am I icky? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/238 "2010-06-06T23:21:58Z")
> [@Nutty\_Bunny](#): > > Ok so I had an interesting experience this afternoon. A 25 year old guy (I’m 39). IM’d me on [pof.com](http://pof.com) and it was pretty boring at first (talking about the Yankee game and DMB show on Friday) then we started flirting and then we were talking about sex and it got increasingly…intense. Starting with crazy stuff we’ve done in the past to favorite positions. So my question is…what constitutes cyber sex? This is all new to me. :eek: Role playing sex online is cyber sex. Talking about your past sexual experiences is not cybering. If that’s the case, I cyber with most of the girls I talk to online. > [@Nutty Bunny](#): > > I figured it was harmless. He’s 25 for god’s sake. It’s not like we’re going to meet each other and I have no intention to. I’m not online dating to find casual sex. > > Am I icky? I don’t understand your thought process at all. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/239 "2010-06-06T23:30:09Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Role playing sex online is cyber sex. Talking about your past sexual experiences is not cybering. If that’s the case, I cyber with most of the girls I talk to online. I though it would count if we both admitted we were getting turned on. :smack: > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I don’t understand your thought process at all. What part of it don’t you understand? I suppose I can see your confusion. I’m a bit confused myself! ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/240 "2010-06-06T23:37:32Z")
> [@Nutty\_Bunny](#): > > I though it would count if we both admitted we were getting turned on. :smack: If I’m flirting with you in real life and we both get turned on does that count as sex? > [@Nutty Bunny](#): > > What part of it don’t you understand? I suppose I can see your confusion. I’m a bit confused myself! You seem to be scandalized that you had what you thought was cyber sex. You seem even more scandalized that you’d have it with someone who was 29. What’s wrong with flirting with someone online and getting turned on? What’s wrong with doing it with a 29 year old? What are **you** confused about? And in case my post seems too harsh or something, I’m glad you got off flirting with a guy online. 😛 May your future hold many more encounters like it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978.md?page=13)