# The Ongoing Online Dating Advice Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 27, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978 "2010-05-27T18:50:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 174
**Author:** ![Yes\_I\_Know\_That\_Color](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/dc4da7/32.png) [@Yes\_I\_Know\_That\_Color](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yes_I_Know_That_Color)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2014, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3464 "2014-08-28T02:02:03Z")
My boyfriend and I will be celebrating our two year anniversary soon, which made me want to check in with this thread. I met him on OkCupid and actually came to this thread for advice about my situation. I’m still appreciative of those who took the time to respond way back when. Anyway, good luck to everyone currently trying their hand at online dating. I hope it works out for you as well as it did for me. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2014, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3466 "2014-08-30T22:20:22Z")
Not just spam (Reported BTW) but you messed up the URL, good job with that! Mod, can you delete this post when you delete that one. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2014, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3467 "2014-08-31T23:54:19Z")
I’ve got an update as well. Sent a message to someone about three weeks ago, got a reply, which led to a dozen more messages and three dates (so far). It’s early yet, but I would say the sings are extremely positive. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2014, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3468 "2014-09-01T05:26:09Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I’ve got an update as well. Sent a message to someone about three weeks ago, got a reply, which led to a dozen more messages and three dates (so far). It’s early yet, but I would say the sings are extremely positive. Congratulations!!! And what is it you’re singing? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2014, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3469 "2014-09-01T06:52:54Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Congratulations!!! And what is it you’re singing? There, you see how distracted I am? I’m making typos, for heaven’s sake. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2014, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3471 "2014-09-01T07:53:46Z")
Fake passport spam reported. ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2014, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3472 "2014-09-01T07:54:07Z")
Reported. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2014, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3473 "2014-09-01T11:08:36Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I’ve got an update as well. Sent a message to someone about three weeks ago, got a reply, which led to a dozen more messages and three dates (so far). It’s early yet, but I would say the sings are extremely positive. Oh, good to hear! As for me, I’m now engaged to and living with the guy I met on online dating through this thread ( I made first contact with him rather than wait for him to contact me, so I’d have something to report here) - we’ve got a twenty year mortgage together, how’s that for commitment 😉 ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2014, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3474 "2014-09-02T14:14:21Z")
good for you!! everyone loves a Happy Ending 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![StackLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5fc32e/32.png) [@StackLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StackLee)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3475 "2017-03-15T12:58:03Z")
I recently used match for this purpose and man it was a dissapointing experience. I should have taken the advice of my friends who told me to ignore this site, but I didnt listen. Now I’m sitting with 60$ subscription for a membership that I won’t be using any time soon. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3476 "2017-03-15T16:50:24Z")
> [@StackLee](#): > > I should have taken the advice of my friends who told me to ignore this site, but I didnt listen. Did your friends offer any better alternatives? ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3477 "2017-03-15T18:04:59Z")
> [@StackLee](#): > > I recently used match for this purpose and man it was a dissapointing experience. I should have taken the advice of my friends who told me to ignore this site, but I didnt listen. Now I’m sitting with 60$ subscription for a membership that I won’t be using any time soon. So you took the time to register here to post to an almost 3 year old zombie thread, to not ask for advice but to rant about [match.com](http://match.com). Good luck dating… ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3478 "2017-03-15T20:56:56Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > So you took the time to register here to post to an almost 3 year old zombie thread, to not ask for advice but to rant about [match.com](http://match.com). Well, to be fair, this thread does have more than 3,400 replies. If anyplace could be said to be our ongoing, collective repository of wisdom on the subject, this would be it. ---
**Author:** ![SirRay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@SirRay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SirRay)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3479 "2017-03-16T19:19:15Z")
To add to the collective repository… OKCupid has recently disabled searching by “Who’s New” (a handy feature which I used from time to time). > [@](#): > > While the Who’s New feature was a useful tool for a small part of OkCupid, on the whole it wasn’t benefitting the greater OkCupid community. We want all new members to feel welcomed when joining OkCupid, but women in particular were being overwhelmed with messages (some of which were spam) right after signing up. By removing Who’s New, new members are now less likely to be inundated with messages; additionally, sincere messages from well-intentioned members have a better chance of being seen. . Yeahhhh…no. Actually “Who’s New” was a rather important feature for those (well, men) who actually wanted to meet someone who wasn’t jaded of the whole OK cupid experience. OK, it was probably abused by those using “spray and pray” messaging, but that crew will now spray and pray over all profiles now. Removing useful functionality is never good…for the user. I’d rather they removed the “Your Daily Matches” stuff and kept the “Who’s New”, which was far more useful to avoid mucking thru profiles of bots, uninterested women/women on the site solely for validation, and serial daters that I already saw before. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3480 "2017-03-16T20:15:25Z")
Met my wife about 5 years ago on Match, FTR. ---
**Author:** ![StackLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5fc32e/32.png) [@StackLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StackLee)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2017, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3481 "2017-03-20T10:59:01Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Did your friends offer any better alternatives? Yeah, man. I’m using [Flirt.com](https://www.flirt.com/) now and to tell you the truth so far so good. I just started, but when I have more experience with it, I will write comprehensive review of this site. I will keep you updated) ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2017, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3482 "2017-03-27T22:07:09Z")
I’m thinking of diving in soon, myself. My ex-wife & I just divorced after a five-year separation, and I went out to [Match.com](http://Match.com) to see what it cost. I had to create a profile to get to the pricing page, and then just signed out, figuring they wouldn’t save that profile since I didn’t pay for it. Silly me. A month later, I got an email on my main email account saying “Hey, you’re getting lots of email from Match over on the gmail account you created just for it…” Went and logged in and found that I had gotten 200 emails from Match. Over 120 page views, about 67 women liked my picture, and 2 emailed me. Apparently just logging out doesn’t disable it… so I logged in, dug deep and found the “no, really, don’t show this to anybody” button and clicked that. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2017, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3483 "2017-06-12T19:53:50Z")
Just signed up with Match last week, and I have a couple questions… I’ve gotten favorable replies and emails from four or five women. I realize this is probably extremely regional, but is it considered uncool to be at the early stages of emailing & meeting for lunch/coffee with more than one woman at a time? I haven’t been on a first date since the Reagan administration (his first term…), so I’m a little outta touch with the idea. Also, I get a _lot_ of likes/winks/favorites from women who are (a) younger than I’m looking for, (b) looking for men who are younger than me, © live in other states, (d) looking for men in other states and (e) their profiles are blank or hidden except for the above information. I have a couple guesses as to what I’m seeing, here… what’s the general consensus on this kind of activity? ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2017, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3484 "2017-06-12T20:13:50Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > is it considered uncool to be at the early stages of emailing & meeting for lunch/coffee with more than one woman at a time? Of course not. I don’t recall it being uncool in the 80’s to date more than one woman at a time either. You’re not asking them to marry you. > [@Ethilrist](#): > > Also, I get a _lot_ of likes/winks/favorites from women who are (a) younger than I’m looking for, (b) looking for men who are younger than me, (c) live in other states, (d) looking for men in other states and (e) their profiles are blank or hidden except for the above information. I have a couple guesses as to what I’m seeing, here… what’s the general consensus on this kind of activity? Don’t be surprised if a lot of those are fake accounts. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2017, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/3485 "2017-06-13T00:11:45Z")
OK, guys, I’ll check in here and keep writing until I finish or change my mind. I’m 78 and blind and the idea of a nursing home scares the helll out of me. So I decided to go the the third world, build my own nursing home, staff it with a woman I love, a thousand dollars a month should cover it, and fall what may. I had a ten-year old profile on OKCupid on which I maybe corresponded with ten women and met two, disappointingly. I rewrote my whole profile, outlining the brutal truth of exactly what I was looking for, filtered for age 30-52 in Philippines on line in the past week, and directed the attention of 63 young ladies to it, culling out the obvious losers. I got a dozen immediate replies, every one of them civil and polite, and most of them worthy of second and third responses. After a few days, about three made the short list, and then one pulled away from the pack. Nine days later, I am insanely in love with this woman, Ive talked with her sister in Florida, we’ve skyped a few times, nd my militantly cynical best lady-friend has talked to my beloved and told me I have hit the jackpot. In a month, I will fly to Manila, fully expecting to throw away the return ticket. I have nothing to come back to. My cynical friend has volunteered to throw all my shit in the dumpster., when I give her the thumbs up. My new life is about to begin. I am an honest man who takes my promises seriously. I will love her as long as she wants or needs my love. She can take my social security check and do whatever she wants with it, as long as she comforts and takes care of me in my old age and holds my hand when I die. She loves to cuddle, by the way. Show me a nursing home that will top that deal, for a thousand a month, in a lovely tropical climate. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978.md?page=173)