# The Ongoing Online Dating Advice Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 27, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978 "2010-05-27T18:50:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 21
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/401 "2010-06-15T20:44:36Z")
I’m not interested in female friends. Thanks for the advice though- hopefully anyone lurking in the thread will see it and keep it in mind. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/402 "2010-06-15T20:51:34Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > You’re in the wrong thread. 😛 Never \*officially \*searching. 😉 ETA: No female friends? Interesting. You don’t have _any_? Or you’re just not interested in finding any more online? ---
**Author:** ![Bexan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@Bexan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bexan)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/403 "2010-06-15T21:14:23Z")
Actually for clarification on my post, I’m not interested in him. The last conversation kind of fizzled and I just thought it was a little strange that he keeps viewing my profile and wanted to see what the Dopers thought. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/404 "2010-06-15T21:23:15Z")
[It tries a little too hard, do you think?](http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Srdje65/) Also, god I have _got_ to get a better photo than ThickNeck DogPuncher. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/405 "2010-06-15T21:32:41Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Also, god I have _got_ to get a better photo than ThickNeck DogPuncher. :smack: Oh god, now I need to remember to look when I get home! P.S. You need to change your forum name, now. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/406 "2010-06-15T21:33:14Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > I’m interested in that answer myself. Not so much for the weight thing (I’m not overweight) but for certain aspects where I’m looking for someone that’s better then me. For example, I’d love to dating someone that could give me some guidance on what to wear to certain events. I have no idea if Khaki’s and a polo shirt are appropriate for a specific restaurant or if I can wear these clothes to a wedding. But I don’t want to say “I need someone that can pick my clothes out for me” or “I have no sense of fashion, I hope you can help me”. “Did you ever feel like the world was a tuxedo, and you were a pair of brown shoes?” ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/407 "2010-06-15T21:34:05Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > P.S. You need to change your forum name, now. Tell you what, I’ll make a Dwarf Warrior with the name DogPuncher. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/408 "2010-06-15T21:44:04Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Tell you what, I’ll make a Dwarf Warrior with the name DogPuncher. 😃 Acceptable second choice. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/409 "2010-06-15T21:46:57Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > ETA: No female friends? Interesting. You don’t have _any_? Or you’re just not interested in finding any more online? I have a single female friend. If I were attracted to her we’d likely be dating. I’m from backwards town where emotional adolescents such as myself are mostly incapable of having platonic relationships with the opposite sex and get uncomfortable if their SOs have close male friends who aren’t gay or hideously unattractive. > [@Bosstone](#): > > [It tries a little too hard, do you think?](http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Srdje65/) OkCupid used to make you pick three adjectives that would appear under your photo. That system as been done away with and you now have those adjectives floating at the bottom of your self-summary. I’d recommend getting rid of them as they seem kind of random. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/410 "2010-06-15T21:51:54Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > OkCupid used to make you pick three adjectives that would appear under your photo. That system as been done away with and you now have those adjectives floating at the bottom of your self-summary. I’d recommend getting rid of them as they seem kind of random. Thanks for that, I haven’t gone back to revise for a couple months now. ---
**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/411 "2010-06-15T21:59:15Z")
I took a look at your profile Bosstone. I thought you came across as fun loving and witty. I thought the tone was good and not “Mr Tries Too Hard” at all. “Brilliant beyond ken, and modest” cracked me up. I liked that you worked your interests into your answers in different ways. Like, how fixing your motorcycle is something you think about. I think a profile should be honest, but I don’t think it needs to express too much too soon. For example, talking about the fact that you haven’t been in a strong relationship yet. As you get to know someone that fact will come out. I don’t think you need to jump out and say “I’m on a dating site. Want to be my first non crazy girlfriend!?” I would also remove the bit about your Mom being your friend as much as anyone else. It turned a nice comment about you being close to your family into something somewhat awkward. It’s not that there is anything wrong with your Mom being a close friend. It just doesn’t fit into a dating profile very well. That’s how I see it as a guy. So, take my advice with a penis shaped grain of salt. Oh. You use the word girl once or twice in your profile. It’s probably on my mind because I just read that other thread. But, I did notice it. Of course, OKCupid uses it as well. So, maybe it’s not a biggie. ETA: Ahh. So the and modest was put in by OkCupid. I thought it was geek humor. Sorry about that. It still cracked me up. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/412 "2010-06-15T22:28:20Z")
> [@pricciar](#): > > Ahh. So the and modest was put in by OkCupid. I thought it was geek humor. Sorry about that. It still cracked me up. Well, that was from when OKC had people enter three adjectives about myself, so those were chosen by me. I appreciate the advice, and I plan to revisit the profile when I get home tonight. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/413 "2010-06-15T22:51:19Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I’m from backwards town where emotional adolescents such as myself are mostly incapable of having platonic relationships with the opposite sex and get uncomfortable if their SOs have close male friends who aren’t gay or hideously unattractive. Ick. So sorry to hear. A lot of my best friends are male–can’t imagine not being able to hang out with them because an SO might get paranoid. > [@pricciar](#): > > I don’t think you need to jump out and say “I’m on a dating site. Want to be my first non crazy girlfriend!?” Ditto to this. Everything else looks good! ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/414 "2010-06-15T22:57:59Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Ick. So sorry to hear. A lot of my best friends are male–can’t imagine not being able to hang out with them because an SO might get paranoid. I blame the saturation of adultery in American culture for my paranoia. 😛 It’s a curse. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/415 "2010-06-16T14:10:34Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I blame the saturation of adultery in American culture for my paranoia. 😛 It’s a curse. Get over it? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/416 "2010-06-16T23:42:51Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Get over it? 😉 Easier said than done. I don’t prohibit my girlfriends from interacting with guys and I don’t tell them how paranoid it makes me. I suffer on the inside. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/417 "2010-06-17T00:01:33Z")
Here’s a part about online dating I hate. Someone on the site writes me or I write them. We have fun emails back and forth until we are comfortable enough to meet up. We meet up and have an awesome time. Hang out for a couple of hours and hug each other good night. (We’re not to the part I hate, yet.) The next day I email and tell her I had a great time and would love to meet up again. So. Yeah. The waiting for a response I hate. And, when there is a lack of response I hate that even more. I wish more people wrote not interested emails. I guess some guys write back indignantly to not interested emails, so women are better off letting things fizzle with no words. I understand it; I hate it, too. Oh well. It is good patience practice. If I wait long enough either an email will arrive, or I’ll forget about the whole thing. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/418 "2010-06-17T02:09:30Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > How do you guys handle situations like this? I always try to sort of keep up the conversation for a bit so that radio silence doesn’t come immediately after receiving the picture. I mean, I’m sure they really know what the reason is anyway but it’s a politeness thing from my end. I’d rather not be a douche. Don’t be so sure that they really know what the reason is, or even that they bother to wonder why you stopped communicating. I don’t. Guys flake out sometime. No biggie. Which is to say that I think you’re doing a very good thing here. Because even if they do think about that stuff, with your approach, they can still chalk it up to “the guy flaked out” rather than “he saw my picture and disappeared.” It’s a kindness. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/419 "2010-06-17T12:51:52Z")
Okay, so my divorce was finalized yesterday, and I want to update my [match.com](http://match.com) headline to reflect that. I’m hoping that some of the people that may have seen “currently separated” and kept going might stop and take another look? I had “Currently Separated…not anymore!” and “Currently separated…check again!” but those both almost sound like I got married or got back together. I’m also trying to avoid something along the lines of “The divorce is final, time to start a new life” because I’d be worried that anyone who saw something about a divorce and trying to start over would think rebound and not want anything to do with that either. Everything I come up with has the word ‘divorced’ in it. I’m not sure if that should be part of my headline, but I need something that either comes out and says it, or very strongly implies it. Of course, anyone that sees my headline in the [match.com](http://match.com) search results also sees the first sentence or so of my profile, I guess I could just write something there. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/420 "2010-06-17T13:16:09Z")
Newly Single? Personally, I’d just put “single,” but you say you need the implication. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978.md?page=20) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978.md?page=22)