# The Ongoing Online Dating Advice Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 27, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978 "2010-05-27T18:50:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 32
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2010, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/621 "2010-07-14T21:33:38Z")
I’m running out the door, but after a really quick look at your profile… Dude, you’re a writer. Instead of deprecating that, why don’t you expand on it and tell us what you write (short fiction? journalism?) and what it means to you? You’ve already got interesting stuff in there, you just handwave it all away like it’s not worth talking about. It is, so do it. Own your talents, don’t make as if they don’t matter. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2010, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/622 "2010-07-14T21:35:35Z")
Pff, that’s the equivalent of saying I have experience with Adobe Photoshop in a resume because I used it to resize an image once. 😃 I get what you mean, though, and it’s good food for thought. ---
**Author:** ![Purple\_Scottie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a698b9/32.png) [@Purple\_Scottie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purple_Scottie)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2010, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/623 "2010-07-14T22:17:45Z")
Okay, I copied a lot of my match profile over to OKCupid since I forgot Match usually makes you jump through hoops just to browse. There are some of my match stuff not there but it’s a start. [link](http://www.okcupid.com/profile/purpleclippers) I agree LDR don’t usually work if you don’t know the person first, but my challenge has been finding men in my age range who are interested in some one like me… they tend to be in less rural areas and the nearest “big” cities are all 200-250 miles away. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/624 "2010-07-15T00:12:45Z")
> [@clipper](#): > > Okay, I copied a lot of my match profile over to OKCupid since I forgot Match usually makes you jump through hoops just to browse. There are some of my match stuff not there but it’s a start. > > [link](http://www.okcupid.com/profile/purpleclippers) Tell me more about this Muppets obsession. Oh, and you’ve got the “I’ll never say no to a good concert,…” thing in both the first and second paragraphs. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/625 "2010-07-15T04:03:33Z")
[OK Cupid did an analysis on the bisexual phenomenon.](http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/07/07/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/) According to them, 80% of bisexuals are only interested in one gender. ---
**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/626 "2010-07-15T04:23:53Z")
**clipper** , yeah the Muppets obsession and pretty pictures are two definite keepers. But, I would flesh out your profile a bit more. Answer the OKCupid specific questions, so it is less clear you have copied directly from one site to another. It is more fun when people attempt to answer the questions, no matter how inane they might be. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/627 "2010-07-15T04:26:02Z")
> [@tr0psn4j](#): > > [OK Cupid did an analysis on the bisexual phenomenon.](http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/07/07/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/) > > According to them, 80% of bisexuals are only interested in one gender. False assumptions lead to false conclusions. I learned pretty quickly not to rely on anything OKC says as scientifically valid. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/628 "2010-07-15T07:02:21Z")
Wow, thanks for all the feedback! I will change a few things when I get home, find someone to take some “candid” pictures (because I hate posing and formal ones) and I’ll take out what a drug sniffing horndog I am 😛 I put that in because it IS important to me. My ex-wife did not like sex due to daddy issues, and my last girlfriend just wasn’t interested in it, so I’m sick of being with sexless women. However, putting that in a profile just makes it sound like bitching and whining. The quiz questions go more into the drug thing anyway which shows more of my attitude about them. Uhm… would it be OK to say I sit in front of my tent drinking beer at SCA events? It’s good beer. 😃 I do archery and somehow end up in a bunch of cooking and sewing classes at events. I have no idea how, but I do. I just started going last year and so I haven’t developed a full persona yet, if ever. Oooh maybe I should put that! I don’t know why I never ever get visitors. I thought it was because women don’t need to when they get inundated with emails, so they just go through their inbox instead. It’s always been like that on any site I post profiles or ads on; if I want to talk to anyone I always have to initate, usually with no response. I should probably put my plan for immortality in my “what I’m doing with my life” section. So far, so good. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/629 "2010-07-15T08:33:09Z")
I get quite a few visitors. I don’t know why you aren’t- I don’t think it has anything to do with you because they’d have to visit your profile before they decide if they are or aren’t interested, I’d think. Do you visit a lot of profiles? Are you online a lot? **Auto** and I both use a trick where we just keep a minimized browser window with us longed in on OkCupid. People who are logged in have a higher priority when people do searches. Another trick if you want to increase visitors: Every hour or so during peak hours (6-9pm?) make some minor grammatical edit to your profile and it’ll make you pop up on the home pages of everyone in your area. Yes, I’m a sneaky bastard. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/630 "2010-07-15T09:26:49Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > False assumptions lead to false conclusions. I learned pretty quickly not to rely on anything OKC says as scientifically valid. With the number of people claiming they’re bisexual on their profiles, I don’t doubt that statistic at all though. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/631 "2010-07-15T11:42:40Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Another trick if you want to increase visitors: Every hour or so during peak hours (6-9pm?) make some minor grammatical edit to your profile and it’ll make you pop up on the home pages of everyone in your area. > > Yes, I’m a sneaky bastard. Answer a few questions here and there as well to get you on to other peoples front pages. And take a quiz once in a while, if for no other reason, some of them are fun. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/632 "2010-07-15T11:51:07Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Are you online a lot? **Auto** and I both use a trick where we just keep a minimized browser window with us longed in on OkCupid. People who are logged in have a higher priority when people do searches. > Yes, I’m a sneaky bastard. Something I was just thinking about. I mentioned it on SDMB a few months ago. When I’m online with match it seems that after somewhere between 10 minutes and an hour it shows me (at least to me) as off line. The only way to fix it is to clear the cookies (I have a bookmark set for clearing only the match cookies). So every half hour or so I clear the cookies and sign back in. I usually have OKC signed in as well. The only thing I worry about is being “the guy that’s _always_ online.” I figure if anyone ever brought it up, I’d just tell them it’s like facebook. I log on when I have a few minutes here and there at work and when I get home from work I sign on and just leave it on. But one of things I also do is after going through and looking at a lot of people or sending off an email if they don’t look at my profile soon after I’ll sign off for 20 minutes or so. Just so that if they are a bit shy and don’t want to read the email or look at my profile when I’m signed on, they get a chance to do it without waiting for me to go to bed. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/633 "2010-07-15T11:53:40Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Something I was just thinking about. I mentioned it on SDMB a few months ago. When I’m online with match it seems that after somewhere between 10 minutes and an hour it shows me (at least to me) as off line. The only way to fix it is to clear the cookies (I have a bookmark set for clearing only the match cookies). So every half hour or so I clear the cookies and sign back in. I usually have OKC signed in as well. The only thing I worry about is being “the guy that’s _always_ online.” I figure if anyone ever brought it up, I’d just tell them it’s like facebook. I log on when I have a few minutes here and there at work and when I get home from work I sign on and just leave it on. > > But one of things I also do is after going through and looking at a lot of people or sending off an email if they don’t look at my profile soon after I’ll sign off for 20 minutes or so. Just so that if they are a bit shy and don’t want to read the email or look at my profile when I’m signed on, they get a chance to do it without waiting for me to go to bed. That’s a thought. To any women in this thread who have ever been shy about contacting a guy online: Don’t. It kills me that there might be wimminz out there who are too shy to message me. Well, there might not be wimminz like that at all, but it’s an ego boost. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/634 "2010-07-15T16:03:33Z")
So that’s my problem - I’m too tall. If I were 5’3" I’d be getting a new message every other day. ☹ The way they worded the messaging stats for things like height and income, it sounds like they only looked at men messaging women and vice versa. I’d be interested in seeing the stats for same sex conversations, particularly where height is concerned. It’s been my experience that some bi/lez gals prefer petite women, while others enjoy being with a taller woman and feeling protected. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/635 "2010-07-15T16:10:41Z")
> [@umop\_ap\_sdn](#): > > So that’s my problem - I’m too tall. If I were 5’3" I’d be getting a new message every other day. ☹ And I’m too short. I could be getting a whole .3 more sex partners if I said I was 6’ instead of 5’11". ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/636 "2010-07-15T16:20:17Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > And I’m too short. I could be getting a whole .3 more sex partners if I said I was 6’ instead of 5’11". .3 sex? Is that like a blowjob or something? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/637 "2010-07-15T16:21:36Z")
> [@tr0psn4j](#): > > .3 sex? Is that like a blowjob or something? 😃 It’s a dwarf. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/638 "2010-07-15T16:21:42Z")
> [@tr0psn4j](#): > > .3 sex? Is that like a blowjob or something? 😃 No, .3 more sex _partners_. Like an extra leg or boob. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/639 "2010-07-15T16:24:10Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > No, .3 more sex _partners_. Like an extra leg or boob. Apropos of which: > [@Tom Lehrer](#): > > I hold your hand in mine, dear > I press it to my lips > I take a healthy bite from > Your dainty finger-tips > > … > > The night you died I cut it off > I really don’t know why > 'Cause now each time I kiss it > I get bloodstains on my tie. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/640 "2010-07-15T16:25:49Z")
> [@Mauvaise](#): > > Which leads me to the conclusion that if the answer is “yes”, are we free to opine away? I guess my previous posts stand. It certainly lends your opinion more credibility in this instance, yes. At least for me. > [@Bosstone](#): > > I’m absolutely certain I can nail the interview Interesting choice of verbs there. 😃 > [@tr0psn4j](#): > > [OK Cupid did an analysis on the bisexual phenomenon.](http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/07/07/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/) > > According to them, 80% of bisexuals are only interested in one gender. Can’t get there from work–what’s their argument? If it’s something like, “80% of people who identify on the site as bisexual only search for people of one gender,” that’s a meaningless statistic. Being bi doesn’t necessarily mean you date men half the time and women the other. You can be \*mostly interested \*in dating one gender–i.e., they’d be the one you’d actively seek out–while still being \*open \*to the possibility of dating the right person of the other gender, such that you don’t want to turn off a potential match by listing yourself as straight or gay. > [@Joey\_P](#): > > When I’m online with match it seems that after somewhere between 10 minutes and an hour it shows me (at least to me) as off line. Are you actively using the site during this time, or are you just sitting on a page? The site could be set to automatically time you out due to inactivity, in which case your best bet would be an auto-refreshing addon for your browser. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978.md?page=31) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978.md?page=33)