# The Ongoing Online Dating Advice Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 27, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978 "2010-05-27T18:50:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 84
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1662 "2011-06-21T20:23:18Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > If you put on weight based on the older pictures, it’s mainly on the sides of your face. > > (you grew your hair out) This is the benefit of being tall: I can put on weight and it’s pretty hard to notice. I put on probably about 10-15 pounds since my physical last year. My Mirena apparently killed the shit out of my metabolism so I’m in the process of adjusting to that. > [@Joey\_P](#): > > Text me if your up for anything this week. Or, in OKC speak…Chk out my pix and hit me up if u wanna chat. l8r. This week is looking pretty nuts. Next week is a maybe. > [@Joey\_P](#): > > Found it. I got linked to on SomethingAwful. Oh man, that really sucks for you, but is kind of hilarious (mainly because it seems to be blowing over). Hopefully it will all just be a fun story to tell. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Sensitive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58956e/32.png) [@Darth\_Sensitive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Sensitive)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1663 "2011-06-21T20:57:07Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Did you mean to leave the " by How I Met Your Mother just so they would have a grammatical error to contact you about? 😉 > > I think it’s got a nice beat and you can dance to it. 🆒 Heh. No. I decided to change some formatting and accidentally left that in, but it’s now gone. I may decided to introduce some deliberate errors though. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1664 "2011-06-22T00:24:27Z")
I’m listed as 5’11" on my OKCupid account. The last time I measured my height, at 21, barefoot, I was actually 5’10 3/4". Today, at 32, in workboots, I was 5’11 1/2". What do y’all think about me “upgrading” and changing my height to 6’ 0"? Six feet is like a magic number to women. I wouldn’t say I’m sensitive about my height, but maybe I am. I’m the shortest male in my family. My dad is 6’ 2 1/2" and my not so little younger brother is 6’ 5 1/2", ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1665 "2011-06-22T00:27:41Z")
> [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > I’m listed as 5’11" on my OKCupid account. The last time I measured my height, at 21, barefoot, I was actually 5’10 3/4". Today, at 32, in workboots, I was 5’11 1/2". What do y’all think about me “upgrading” and changing my height to 6’ 0"? Never lie. I would leave it as 5’11. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1666 "2011-06-22T00:29:05Z")
> [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > What do y’all think about me “upgrading” and changing my height to 6’ 0"? Don’t do it. I offer you that advice in your own best interest. It has nothing to do with the fact that I’m 6’1" and need to hang on to any edge that I can get. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1667 "2011-06-22T00:30:26Z")
I wouldn’t do that. I might put 5’11’’ (since that’s probably what you are at this point anyways, or closer to it then 5’10’’), but I wouldn’t lie and put 6’0’’. I doubt anyone’s going to call you out on an inch, but why take the risk. Besides, I think most people just sort of fill that in when they’re making their profile, it’s not that they won’t reply to anyone shorter then that. I’ve only seen one person who specifically wrote in her summary that she wouldn’t date anyone shorter then a specific height, but it was her dad’s height and she was clearly (based on her profile) looking for someone as tall as him. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1668 "2011-06-22T00:36:02Z")
Leave it as 5’11. That seems to be your average, split between bare feet and “average” shoes, so don’t lie. It may seem like a little thing, but it’s a stupid thing and if you get caught out it’s a dumb thing to be caught up on. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1669 "2011-06-22T03:35:12Z")
As with anything, you’ll get a dissenting opinion. I’d go for it, for reasons I’ve mentioned previously in this thread and because you are _really_ close to 6’. 6’ is the magic number for a lot of women. Many people say they _only_ date men above that height. I know lots of girls who’ve said that, including a very dear friend (engaged) and my mother, married 26 years. Neither are with men who are 6’ in spite of dating them for years and years exclusively. Real life affords you the opportunity to have everything else show through but would they have been paired with their current significant others via online dating? Not a chance in hell. Now, if you were 5’10 with shoes on, would you be lying? Yeah. But half an inch with shoes on? Go for it. Besides, as I recall, you round up, not down for .5. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1670 "2011-06-22T04:12:58Z")
If a woman hangs her hat on 6’ tall and refuses to budge to talk to someone, even if there’s only an inch difference, do you really want to lie to be with that sort of a woman? Really? Don’t lie. You’ll sort out the crazy bitches who hardline on something like an inch of height. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_in_second_hand_clothing)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1671 "2011-06-22T19:46:52Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > I think I figured this all out. The person who posted this at SA was a poster here as well for a little while (13 posts under the same name). Near as I can tell he just grabbed a random post of mine and twisted some facts around. I know which post he’s reading but the facts are all over the place. > I’ll bet, if confronted, he couldn’t tell me who the person is. (Because I don’t think he knows her, I think it’s they’re just snarking on this thread a bit). I asked the admins over there to delete the links to my profile and this board, but it seems like it already pretty much blew over. At this point, I’d just rather someone googling my username didn’t wind up over at that thread. Wow, how bizarre. I tried to find the SA thread, but it seems to be buried-- if that’s any consolation. I then ended up spending several hours reading the ghost stories topic. ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1672 "2011-06-24T01:19:14Z")
I’ve gotten three emails from OKCupid in the past two days: two so-and-so is checking you out, she’s a good match, you should check her out, and one so-and-so rated you four or five stars, guess who on Quickmatch. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1673 "2011-06-24T01:29:02Z")
> [@wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](#): > > Wow, how bizarre. I tried to find the SA thread, but it seems to be buried-- if that’s any consolation. > > I then ended up spending several hours reading the ghost stories topic. It’s not, it’s actually redicoulsly active. In fact, since my profile was posted, there’s probably 500 posts after it. That thread has about 10,000 posts since Feb of this year. It’s just that the forum it’s in is hard to find. > [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > I’ve gotten three emails from OKCupid in the past two days: two so-and-so is checking you out, she’s a good match, you should check her out, and one so-and-so rated you four or five stars, guess who on Quickmatch. I’ve gotten two emails in the past two days. I got one that said “I like your smile”, then she’s looked at my profile probably 25 times in the last 24 hours (she’s always at the top of the recently visited list) and I got another one from her today saying “When are you going to take me out to eat” But yeah, I got the so and so is checking you out the other day, it must be new. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1674 "2011-06-24T01:35:56Z")
I don’t have anywhere else to put this so I’ll put it here. Typically my ex has my daughter on Thursday and Friday and she drops her off with me on Saturday when I get home from work. This week she asked if she could have her for the weekend. Which means I’ll be kid free from now until Tuesday afternoon. I was lamenting the fact that if I were actually dating someone this would have been a great weekend to go to Great America or something like that, but instead I’m having a wisdom tooth pulled on Friday. Yea! I guess I’ll be watching lots of movies instead. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1675 "2011-06-24T01:40:53Z")
If it didn’t blow over, **JoeyP** , I don’t see why it would be that difficult to create a new profile and delete the old one. I had to do that with my Facebook when too many people were adding me. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1676 "2011-06-24T01:51:53Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > If it didn’t blow over, **JoeyP** , I don’t see why it would be that difficult to create a new profile and delete the old one. I had to do that with my Facebook when too many people were adding me. If it didn’t blow over, I assume it wouldn’t be that hard for someone even a little bit motivated to find it again. They know my age, name, location etc. I could also bump up to A-List for a month to just change my user name which I assume would have the effect of breaking their links. I’m still getting one or two people a day looking at my page, but I’m not that concerned. Besides, from what I could tell, the SA forums aren’t google indexed so I don’t think anyone googling my username will wind up there. I took me quite a while to figure it all out. I ended up googling the user names of people looking at my page and eventually found one of them was using the same name at SA and went from there. Also, if it really didn’t blow over, it would probably be more then just me since they linked back to this thread and the person that started this all is a member here as well (but claimed a “friend” told her the story or something along those lines" But, whatever, in the end it doesn’t really matter. ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1677 "2011-06-24T07:04:48Z")
Throwing my hat back into the ring, just in case anyone’s got any new suggestions. I’d fiddled with it a little bit recently. ---
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1678 "2011-06-24T18:50:48Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > But, whatever, in the end it doesn’t really matter. I’m impressed how gracefully you handled a possibly mortifying situation, fwiw. That really shows strength of character. ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1679 "2011-06-24T19:36:47Z")
Am I being overly… judgmental/bitchy/adjective of your choice when I want to just delete my OKC profile because I’m irritated that 99% of the emails I get from my men are like the sampling below (all direct quotes, in their entirety, sent within the last week)? > [@](#): > > Great pics and profile > We should meet for drinks > [@](#): > > I thought you might say hi, if I smiled at you. This is my way of saying hello, and inviting you to a conversation, or two > [@](#): > > Hey, you seem like a fun woman. So, how are you? > [@](#): > > Hey there > > You looking to meet someone new tonight? 🙂 > [@](#): > > you are enticingly sexy.. I’m [Redacted]. could I call you sometime? None of those “approaches” makes me want to hit the “reply” button; they all sound like they cut and paste that to every woman in a 50 mile radius. I did have one person contact me that emailed an actual message that had paragraph breaks and everything (it was still fairly short, but good short) that indicated he read my profile and could actually string two coherent thoughts together. He actually got a meeting and a first date. He could even have a second date if he’s not flake who is shining me on (which I’ll find out next week). It really shouldn’t be this difficult. Gah. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1680 "2011-06-24T20:18:57Z")
> [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > I’m listed as 5’11" on my OKCupid account. The last time I measured my height, at 21, barefoot, I was actually 5’10 3/4". Today, at 32, in workboots, I was 5’11 1/2". What do y’all think about me “upgrading” and changing my height to 6’ 0"? If you were 5’11.5" _in your bare feet_, I’d say go ahead and put 6’. But nobody includes their shoes in their height; by that rule, I should go measure myself in my tallest wedges and advertise as 6’5". Which would you prefer: woman goes out with you and is pleasantly surprised to find you slightly taller than expected, or woman goes out with you and discovers that you’re the kind of guy who’s self-conscious enough about his height to lie? > [@Mauvaise](#): > > Am I being overly… judgmental/bitchy/adjective of your choice when I want to just delete my OKC profile because I’m irritated that 99% of the emails I get from my men are like the sampling below Those PMs are the ones I just straight-up delete. I explicitly state in my profile that I respond to anything of substance (which I do), so if you haven’t heard back from me, it’s probably because your message was nothing more than “lolsup.” Fortunately, I don’t get too many of those, at least compared to the volume of ones where the guy is at least trying. Maybe it would help if you tried to sound like more of a judgmental bitch in your profile. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1681 "2011-06-24T20:31:26Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Those PMs are the ones I just straight-up delete. I explicitly state in my profile that I respond to anything of substance (which I do), so if you haven’t heard back from me, it’s probably because your message was nothing more than “lolsup.” Maybe I should put in the “You should message me if…” section something to the effect of “You can string two or more sentences together to form a coherent thought. Bonus points if said sentences use proper grammar and actually indicate that you read more than my gender and availability status before sending me a message.” > [@](#): > > Fortunately, I don’t get too many of those, at least compared to the volume of ones where the guy is at least trying. Maybe it would help if you tried to sound like more of a judgmental bitch in your profile. 😃 Maybe that’s the key! But I would feel like one if I wrote the above. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978.md?page=83) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978.md?page=85)