# The Ongoing Online Dating Advice Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 27, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978 "2010-05-27T18:50:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 89
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1762 "2011-07-06T15:02:28Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > I am not a fan of all of the virtues, but I might give Patience a go?? That’s a tough one! I’m more the immediate gratification type myself, so I know it can be difficult. But at least she emailed you! I had two promising dates with this one guy and an emphatic “Yes!” to going out again, only to have him seemingly disappear. Maybe I should chuck the dating and just start collecting cats. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1763 "2011-07-07T01:16:11Z")
I’m glad to hear back from her, we will see where it goes…Spared no time, this go 'round, attempting to set up a meeting. Hiking was an option…wonder if she is stressing about wearing a skirt? It is weird how peeps drop off the face of the earth after what seems like a promising start. All I can figure is that they have a couple options going, and all of a sudden one seemed like the best option! And, perhaps, sometimes that doesn’t pan out after 2 weeks and they resort to their fall-back plan 😃 Hm, I like cats, but I’m far from giving up and raising them as livestock! ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1764 "2011-07-08T16:42:20Z")
Bizarre small world story: Yesterday, I was walking to a nearby restaurant to meet an OkC guy for dinner. Crossing a street about a block from my house, I hear someone shout, “Megan?” I turn around, but I just see some kids standing on the street not looking at me. I shrug, turn around, and keep going, only to hear it again: “Megan?!” I turn around again and look the other way, and see two guys sitting on a porch. I walk over, and one of the guys asks, “Is your name Megan? I’m Justin!” And _holy shit_, it’s one of the other dudes I’d been chatting with on OkC. Further small-world bizarreness: the guy I was out to dinner with also lives really close, in an apartment that I go by on my runs during the week. > [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > I’ll be damned…just arrived in my inbox: Hoorah! Sometimes people just do get busy. (I know I’ve gone days at a time without being able to check my OkC messages, and they can really back up.) > [@Mauvaise](#): > > I had two promising dates with this one guy and an emphatic “Yes!” to going out again, only to have him seemingly disappear. I noticed that one of the guys I’d been out with already and had a really great time with had removed his profile. I dropped him a quick text to see what was up and found out that he was definitely still interested but had ended up way more swamped with his new job than he had anticipated (fresh out of med school). So if you’ve got the guy’s number and haven’t pinged him there yet, it might be worth a shot, just to get an idea of what’s up. ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1765 "2011-07-08T16:49:58Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > I turn around again and look the other way, and see two guys sitting on a porch. I walk over, and one of the guys asks, “Is your name Megan? I’m Justin!” And _holy shit_, it’s one of the other dudes I’d been chatting with on OkC. Further small-world bizarreness: the guy I was out to dinner with also lives really close, in an apartment that I go by on my runs during the week. HA! That could have been awkward - was it? > [@](#): > > So if you’ve got the guy’s number and haven’t pinged him there yet, it might be worth a shot, just to get an idea of what’s up. I do - I just sent him a quick text that, in essence said I was just wondering if he was still alive over there or did the haboob carry him away (we’re in Phoenix). 😉 And included a note that said he didn’t over sell how creepy a version of a song was (he’d given me quite a few albums of music the last time we saw each other). If he doesn’t reply, then I’ll have my answer for sure. But on the plus side, I have a first meeting/date with a new guy on Sunday. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1766 "2011-07-08T16:52:06Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Bizarre small world story: > > Yesterday, I was walking to a nearby restaurant to meet an OkC guy for dinner. . . … and? How was your date, dear? Was he a nice boy? When are you gonna get maaaaarrrrriiiiieeeed? ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1767 "2011-07-08T17:16:54Z")
> [@Mauvaise](#): > > HA! That could have been awkward - was it? A little weird because he’s so close to my home zomg, but mostly just funny and interesting. Only had a second to say “hi” before I had to keep walking to dinner, though. > [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > … and? How was your date, dear? Was he a nice boy? When are you gonna get maaaaarrrrriiiiieeeed? SHUT UP MOM I’M NOT MAKING YOU ANY BABIES ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1768 "2011-07-08T18:42:21Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > SHUT UP MOM I’M NOT MAKING YOU ANY BABIES Well, as long your luck holds out, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1769 "2011-07-08T19:12:42Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > Well, as long your luck holds out, anyway. IUD + condoms = next best thing to a virgin birth. ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1770 "2011-07-08T19:16:11Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > IUD + condoms = next best thing to a virgin birth. My favorite is vasectomy and birth control pills. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1771 "2011-07-08T19:20:47Z")
Mine is anal, plus coitus interruptus, with a double condom, pill, vasectomy, hysterectomy, IUD–and I still have two kids. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1772 "2011-07-08T19:35:45Z")
> [@Mauvaise](#): > > My favorite is vasectomy and birth control pills. 😉 Oral contraceptives used to be my favorite, too, until I had a pulmonary embolism and was told I could never, ever have them again. ☹ > [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > Mine is anal, plus coitus interruptus, with a double condom, pill, vasectomy, hysterectomy, IUD–and I still have two kids. The craziest part is how all that birth control compressed the hell out of the pregnancies! The way those kids were born looking full-term only six months after you slept with the mothers is amazing. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1773 "2011-07-08T20:11:32Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > The craziest part is how all that birth control compressed the hell out of the pregnancies! The way those kids were born looking full-term only six months after you slept with the mothers is amazing. And they’re Mexican. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1774 "2011-07-08T20:37:28Z")
Well, _duh_, the parents were both drunk on margaritas at the time. ETA: I am also picturing the kids coming out of the birth canal waving passports. ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2011, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1775 "2011-07-09T01:34:50Z")
Remember when I stumbled across Shot From Guns’ OkC profile about a month ago, accidentally? At the time, I didn’t know if I wanted to reply to her there or PM her here. I ended up doing neither, instead mentioning it in this thread, but not mentioning her by name in case she didn’t want people to know she was on OkC. I just stumbled across a woman who visited me about a week ago on OkC, on another message board. She was asking about whether girls should message guys or not. I want to know if she didn’t message me because of the bad advice her friend gave her to not do it, or whether she just wasn’t interested. Again the dilemma: do I message her on OkC? Do I PM her? Or do I publicly post it on that message board? I ended up using OkC. If I don’t get a reply, do I go public? ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2011, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1776 "2011-07-09T01:48:34Z")
> [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > Remember when I stumbled across Shot From Guns’ OkC profile about a month ago, accidentally? At the time, I didn’t know if I wanted to reply to her there or PM her here. I ended up doing neither, instead mentioning it in this thread, but not mentioning her by name in case she didn’t want people to know she was on OkC. > > I just stumbled across a woman who visited me about a week ago on OkC, on another message board. She was asking about whether girls should message guys or not. I want to know if she didn’t message me because of the bad advice her friend gave her to not do it, or whether she just wasn’t interested. Again the dilemma: do I message her on OkC? Do I PM her? Or do I publicly post it on that message board? I ended up using OkC. If I don’t get a reply, do I go public? I think that contacting her on OkC is the right move. Did you tell her in your message that you recognize her from the board? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2011, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1777 "2011-07-09T01:49:33Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > Mine is anal, plus coitus interruptus, with a double condom, pill, vasectomy, hysterectomy, IUD–and I still have two kids. Catholic, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2011, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1778 "2011-07-09T01:52:12Z")
> [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > do I message her on OkC? Do I PM her? Or do I publicly post it on that message board? I ended up using OkC. If I don’t get a reply, do I go public? Yes, on the public forum, addressing her as “Hey Bitch…” 🙂 But no, probably not. The way I see if, if you sent her a message and she viewed your profile, in my book that’s as good as a ‘thanks but no thanks’. What I’m curious about is what I should do when I email someone, but they never even bother to check out my profile. I’m somewhat confident that my email skills are above par (compared to what I receive and what I understand girls receive). Also, while I don’t consider myself to look like Brad Pitt or George Clooney by any stretch of the imagination, I don’t think most people can make a snap decision based on the little tiny profile picture. BTW, this is on match, so even if they were browsing anonymously, I’d still see the counter go up by one and it’d be a safe bet that it was them that looked. ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2011, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1779 "2011-07-09T03:04:28Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > I think that contacting her on OkC is the right move. Did you tell her in your message that you recognize her from the board? I did. I asked her about why she didn’t message me. I also explained why I didn’t message her at first, which is my fetish for match percentages (we’re only 81%.) ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2011, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1780 "2011-07-09T03:10:43Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > BTW, this is on match, so even if they were browsing anonymously, I’d still see the counter go up by one and it’d be a safe bet that it was them that looked. Match seems to be the worst. I’ve sent out well over 100-150 emails and gotten nothing in return. I know I can spell and use proper grammar so I don’t know what the deal is. I think I have maybe a 5% return rate, and some of those have been no thanks. Ok Cupid seems to be a lot better, and since I write pretty much the same way on both I think it’s just the people on Match. I think they all want their ‘perfect’ match. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2011, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1781 "2011-07-09T03:18:37Z")
> [@Edward\_The\_Head](#): > > Match seems to be the worst. I’ve sent out well over 100-150 emails and gotten nothing in return. I know I can spell and use proper grammar so I don’t know what the deal is. I think I have maybe a 5% return rate, and some of those have been no thanks. > > Ok Cupid seems to be a lot better, and since I write pretty much the same way on both I think it’s just the people on Match. I think they all want their ‘perfect’ match. Yes…I saw a bunch of trashing of Plentyoffish and OkCupid, but I am doing much better on OkC than I did on Match. Better matches, more responses. Haven’t tried POF. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978.md?page=88) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978.md?page=90)