# The Ongoing Online Dating Advice Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 27, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978 "2010-05-27T18:50:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 92
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1822 "2011-07-15T14:36:14Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Ah, the old I-don’t-have-to-take-care-of-myself-but-you-do-guy. And of course by ‘down to earth’ he means low self-esteem and lower standards. :dubious: Exactly! It’s the hypocrisy of it that makes me grumpy. I’m not sure why he messaged me to begin with - I know I’m relatively attractive enough, but there is no way in hell I have “high maintenance” level looks! :dubious: Oh, I know you said you wouldn’t be going out with her again after the hiking date, but after a bit of time has gone by, do you still feel the same? ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1823 "2011-07-15T14:38:17Z")
> [@Mauvaise](#): > > Oh, I know you said you wouldn’t be going out with her again after the hiking date, but after a bit of time has gone by, do you still feel the same? Yep…next date was with someone 15 years older than her…and it went much, much more gooder 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1824 "2011-07-15T14:40:27Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Yep…next date was with someone > > 15 years older than her…and it went much, much more gooder 😃 Oooohhh, I like gooder!! When’s the second date? And when do we get to the kissing - there is a dearth of kissing in this thread! Someone has to be mashing lips around here - cough up some details and let the rest of live vicariously! ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1825 "2011-07-15T15:25:18Z")
Pretty rare that I would kiss on the first date, even if I think it went/is giong very well. Is that common? The main reason is that there is too much potential for mixed signals on a first date; one party thinks everything is super, the other is playing nice but can’t wait to get it over with. At least on date #2, you are both probably in the same general frame of mind. It also alleviates any ‘will she let me kiss her/oh god he’s going to try to kiss me’ drama 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1826 "2011-07-15T15:32:04Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Pretty rare that I would kiss on the first date, even if I think it went/is giong very well. Is that common? You’re asking the wrong person. If we’re considering the obligatory “coffee” meet up as the first date, then no, it’s not common for me, even if it has a good result. But I don’t consider that a first date - more of a Date Zero, if you will. A meeting to establish if there will be a first date. In that case, I wouldn’t rule out a kiss on the first actual date. Kissing compatibility is very important to me and I would want to make sure that was there as early as possible (and as long as it was comfortable by both parties). ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1827 "2011-07-15T15:36:14Z")
> [@Mauvaise](#): > > You’re asking the wrong person. You’re not the only one here :rolleyes: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1828 "2011-07-15T15:39:03Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > You’re not the only one here :rolleyes: 😃 ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1829 "2011-07-15T15:43:29Z")
> [@Mauvaise](#): > > But I don’t consider that a first date - more of a Date Zero, if you will. A meeting to establish if there will be a first date. In that case, I wouldn’t rule out a kiss on the first actual date. Kissing compatibility is very important to me and I would want to make sure that was there as early as possible (and as long as it was comfortable by both parties). Hmmmm, well maybe I should have gone for the kill last weekend! > [@Mauvaise](#): > > ☹ No, not ‘:(’ , ‘:D’ ! The ‘:rolleyes:’ can come off a bit harsher than intended, can’t it??? Lesson learned. ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1830 "2011-07-15T15:47:10Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Hmmmm, well maybe I should have gone for the kill last weekend! Go for it on your next date (when is that?). You can test the waters with casual affection (light touch on her back, holding her hand while walking together, etc) during the date and see if she reciprocates or not. If she does, you’ve got the green light for kissage! > [@](#): > > No, not ‘:(’ , ‘:D’ ! The ‘:rolleyes:’ can come off a bit harsher than intended, can’t it??? Lesson learned. No, I know you weren’t being mean. I wasn’t really sad! Honest. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1831 "2011-07-15T15:51:57Z")
[quote=“Mauvaise, post:1830, topic:540978”] Go for it on your next date (when is that?). QUOTE] Next week sometime, she is checking work/kid schedules. She mentioned that she’ll have some flex time to take off early on Friday…I take that as a very good sign! Hopefully we can get together before then for a run or something…fingers crossed. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1832 "2011-07-15T16:00:45Z")
> [@Mauvaise](#): > > And when do we get to the kissing - there is a dearth of kissing in this thread! Someone has to be mashing lips around here - cough up some details and let the rest of live vicariously! Well, given this sort of thing: > [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Pretty rare that I would kiss on the first date, even if I think it went/is giong very well. I probably shouldn’t report some of what I’ve been up to. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1833 "2011-07-15T16:07:49Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > I probably shouldn’t report some of what I’ve been up to. 😃 Um, yeah you should! Spill it, woman! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![alexandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@alexandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alexandra)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1834 "2011-07-15T22:51:25Z")
> [@Trom](#): > > Is there any benefit to having 100% completion? Considering I haven’t even answered all the prompts, I’m guessing mine is on the short side. > > I’d appreciate any feedback on my OKC profile. Shower me with your wisdom dopers: > > [Me.](http://www.okcupid.com/profile/rmh575) We’re a 92% match! 😉 Shame I’m a few thousand miles away. Your main picture is really nice, and you seem witty. You could maybe seem a little more…enthusiastic about life, possibly in your ‘what I’m doing with my life’ section in particular. ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1835 "2011-07-16T01:17:10Z")
> [@alexandra](#): > > We’re a 92% match! 😉 Shame I’m a few thousand miles away. Your main picture is really nice, and you seem witty. You could maybe seem a little more…enthusiastic about life, possibly in your ‘what I’m doing with my life’ section in particular. My OkC favorites are now nothing but Dopers, but I don’t have yours. Have you linked to it in this thread? Also, 92% match with a fellow Doper isn’t unusual. My match percentages with fellow Dopers are 84, 99, 86, 95, 92, 87, 78, 90, 83, 91, 86, 89, 91, 91, 78, 94, 96, and 86. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1836 "2011-07-16T03:01:55Z")
> [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > My OkC favorites are now nothing but Dopers, but I don’t have yours. Have you linked to it in this thread? Also, 92% match with a fellow Doper isn’t unusual. My match percentages with fellow Dopers are 84, 99, 86, 95, 92, 87, 78, 90, 83, 91, 86, 89, 91, 91, 78, 94, 96, and 86. How do you feel about a long-distance relationship, sweetheart? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![alexandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@alexandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alexandra)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1837 "2011-07-16T16:23:12Z")
> [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > My OkC favorites are now nothing but Dopers, but I don’t have yours. Have you linked to it in this thread? Also, 92% match with a fellow Doper isn’t unusual. My match percentages with fellow Dopers are 84, 99, 86, 95, 92, 87, 78, 90, 83, 91, 86, 89, 91, 91, 78, 94, 96, and 86. Nope I’ve not linked to it before - I’m not really looking to date anyone right now (having broken up recently with a very lovely chap who I met on OKC - we’re still friends), but feel free to take a gander: [http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LucyinBrum](http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LucyinBrum). But yes, I was only being flippant RE our match percentages. The answers that Trom and I had in common were very Doperish. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2011, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1838 "2011-07-17T13:41:27Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Treat it the same as someone who checked out your profile but didn’t reply. It’s possible that they did look at your profile, but via some means where it wouldn’t show up (an alt account or a separate window where they’re not logged in–though the latter won’t work if you have your profile only available to members). That makes sense for OKC, but for all of those, on Match, it would still register as a profile view and up the counter by 1. So, emailed one person a few days ago and three people yesterday which sets a record for me. I typically send out one email at a time and wait until I’ve decided I’m not going to get a response before sending out the next one. This time I figured I just send them all out at once. So far all but one has been online and no one has checked out my profile yet. Two of them I’m honestly not expecting to hear back from, but I figured I’d give it a shot anyways. One of them, I have no idea and the last one actually seemed like a good match (92% on OKC if that means anything). But it’s been less then 24 hours since I sent them all out, maybe I’ll hear back from one of them yet tonight. In a perfect world, I’d be able to get out of the house tomorrow. It’s supposed to be nice out. It’d be nice to go eat outside somewhere. Err, checking the weather, ‘nice’ appears to be 100 and raining…hard, around 5pm, so maybe not eating outside, unless we want to drink bottled water and pretend we’re in Mexico. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2011, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1839 "2011-07-18T01:15:34Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > I typically send out one email at a time and wait until I’ve decided I’m not going to get a response before sending out the next one. This time I figured I just send them all out at once. So far all but one has been online and no one has checked out my profile yet. I’m a shotgunner…BLAM…2 e-mails…BLAM…4 e-mails…BLAM…3 e-mails. Better chance of hitting something. 1 at-a-time seems like aiming a poorly sighted rifle at a distant moving target 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2011, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1840 "2011-07-18T03:03:10Z")
> [@Mauvaise](#): > > Go for it on your next date (when is that?). Tuesday 😃 ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2011, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978/1841 "2011-07-18T10:33:08Z")
Has anyone had any luck on Craigslist? I haven’t been on there much since it was overrun with spam ads in the w4m sections, but I peruse it every so often, send out some emails, and get nothing in return. I’ve noticed all the spammers post to the same county, which is almost completely devoid of people in real life (no one lives in the Columbia Gorge 😃 ) so I flag those and move on. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978.md?page=91) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ongoing-online-dating-advice-thread/540978.md?page=93)