# The Onion as a predictor of literal fact in the future. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 4, 2008, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030 "2008-11-04T11:31:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/1 "2008-11-04T11:31:37Z")
Ah, remember when the Onion was just putting a funny spin on the news instead of reporting facts and tweaking them a bit? It turns out they were actually getting into a time machine and predicting the future literally. [Bush: ‘Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over’ (January 17, 2001)](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784) It gets even better as you read it. > [@](#): > > \*During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years. > > “You better believe we’re going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration,” said Bush, who plans a 250 percent boost in military spending. “Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?” \* > [@](#): > > \*We as a people must stand united, banding together to tear this nation in two," Bush said. “Much work lies ahead of us: The gap between the rich and the poor may be wide, be there’s much more widening left to do. We must squander our nation’s hard-won budget surplus on tax breaks for the wealthiest 15 percent. And, on the foreign front, we must find an enemy and defeat it.” \* ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/2 "2008-11-04T11:48:12Z")
That’s what makes it funny: it has a very real element of truth. All of those “area man”/“area woman” articles are just things that we are very much familiar with, but reframed as news items that normally would never make the paper. The Onion isn’t just about the future–it’s about the here and present. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/3 "2009-06-12T19:41:40Z")
[True story yesterday](http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/toronto/archive/2009/06/10/city-digitally-adds-black-guy-to-fun-guide-cover-to-make-it-more-inclusive.aspx). [Onion story 8 1/2 years ago](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38641). ---
**Author:** ![Bamboo\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/839c29/32.png) [@Bamboo\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bamboo_Boy)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/4 "2009-06-12T20:12:56Z")
Jeeeeez…that is just breathtaking. Dismally, dismally breathtaking. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/5 "2009-06-12T20:50:21Z")
[Pre-“Joe the Plumber”](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/48941). ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/6 "2009-06-12T20:52:16Z")
I thought you were going to link [this.](http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/the_jewish_people_have_endured) That’s one fast turnaround, eh? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/7 "2009-06-12T20:56:52Z")
> [@ArchiveGuy](#): > > [True story yesterday](http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/toronto/archive/2009/06/10/city-digitally-adds-black-guy-to-fun-guide-cover-to-make-it-more-inclusive.aspx). [Onion story 8 1/2 years ago](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38641). From the real article: _He superimposed the African-Canadian person onto the family cluster in the original photo. It was two photographs and one head was superimposed over the original family photo," said John Gosgnach, communications director for the social development division._ African-Canadian? I didn’t know the Canadiens did this too. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/8 "2009-06-12T21:44:39Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > African-Canadian? I didn’t know the Canadiens did this too. Maybe it’s more common on the East Coast, but we don’t say this around here. (This is probably because _most_ black folks that you’re likely to meet in BC are either lately of the Caribbean or just plain ol’ been-here-forever Canadian.) On the other hand, we use “Sino-Canadian” and “Indo-Canadian” quite a bit, although both of these groups have had large, well-established communities here since before Vancouver was even incorporated. That alteration is pretty embarassing. I picture the photo editor as an Ed Begley Jr. type: “Hmmm… this stock photo isn’t _quite_ diverse enough. Maybe a little more grinning negro?” ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/9 "2009-06-12T22:21:24Z")
[Gillette’s 5-blade razor predicted by The Onion](http://www.boingboing.net/2005/09/14/gillettes-5blade-raz.html) In 2005, Gillette: > [@](#): > > Gillette ups the ante, unveils 5-blade razor > Fusion is market leader’s answer to rival Schick’s 4-blade Quattro In 2004, Onion: > [@](#): > > Fuck Everything, We’re Doing Five Blades ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/10 "2009-06-12T23:35:37Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > I thought you were going to link [this.](http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/the_jewish_people_have_endured) That’s one fast turnaround, eh? Not seeing the connection. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/11 "2009-06-12T23:39:09Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Not seeing the connection. There was a recent shooting at the Holocaust Museum by an anti-Semite. Speaking of which: [Holocaust Museum Cashier Has Another Depressing Day](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28566). Really more about the general depressingness of having to work at a museum devoted to the Holocaust, but it sort of fits. ---
**Author:** ![Public\_Animal\_No.9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Public\_Animal\_No.9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Public_Animal_No.9)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/12 "2009-06-12T23:49:22Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > [Pre-“Joe the Plumber”](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/48941). Wow. They even call Ohio as the guy’s home state! Maybe I should start reading their financial section. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/13 "2009-06-13T00:05:45Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > I thought you were going to link [this.](http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/the_jewish_people_have_endured) That’s one fast turnaround, eh? That’s a bit eerie. The story about the Photoshopping of the black guy is not pure Onion fiction, it’s a parody of a real event. The University of Wisconsin faced some criticism in September 2000 after digitally adding a black student into a photo of a group of white students at a football game. They did it to show their diversity. The Onion piece is from December 2000. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/14 "2009-06-13T00:13:19Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > [Gillette’s 5-blade razor predicted by The Onion](http://www.boingboing.net/2005/09/14/gillettes-5blade-raz.html) > In 2005, Gillette: > In 2004, Onion: Saturday Night Live actually [scooped the Onion](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_Gillette#Popular_culture_references) on this one in 1975, spoofing a hypothetical tri-blade razor. ---
**Author:** ![gang\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f07891/32.png) [@gang\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gang_green)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/15 "2009-06-13T04:35:50Z")
> [@Cosmic Relief](#): > > Saturday Night Live actually [scooped the Onion](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_Gillette#Popular_culture_references) on this one in 1975, spoofing a hypothetical tri-blade razor. They also had the preposterous [Telepsychic Ray](http://snltranscripts.jt.org/78/78htelepsychic.phtml) skit. Calling a psychic on the phone? What a stupid idea! ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/16 "2009-06-13T07:21:29Z")
> [@ArchiveGuy](#): > > [True story yesterday](http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/toronto/archive/2009/06/10/city-digitally-adds-black-guy-to-fun-guide-cover-to-make-it-more-inclusive.aspx). [Onion story 8 1/2 years ago](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38641). Ha ha ha ha! I love that under the black man’s face is the headline: “Learn to swim. It’s worth a try”. ---
**Author:** ![postcards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8e8cbc/32.png) [@postcards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/postcards)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/17 "2009-06-13T14:37:32Z")
And did you realize that the [$2 bill](http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/2009/03/us-federal-reserve-funny-money.html) was recently redesigned? ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/18 "2009-06-13T19:40:25Z")
> [@postcards](#): > > And did you realize that the [$2 bill](http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/2009/03/us-federal-reserve-funny-money.html) was recently redesigned? It sounds like you might be playing along with that post, but if you aren’t, take a good look at the date it was posted and the initials of the “contributor.” ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/19 "2009-06-13T20:24:33Z")
I’m reminded of Chris Rock’s joke about O.J. doing a how-to-“If I Did It” video, years before he wrote a book on the same topic. ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030/20 "2009-06-13T20:36:18Z")
> [@ArchiveGuy](#): > > [True story yesterday](http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/toronto/archive/2009/06/10/city-digitally-adds-black-guy-to-fun-guide-cover-to-make-it-more-inclusive.aspx). [Onion story 8 1/2 years ago](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38641). Actually, you can’t give them “prediction” on this one. My Beloved Alma Mater [photoshopped a black guy into an admissions brochure](http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1355/is_18_98/ai_66157053/) back in 2000. I remember it was quite the controversy on campus. Since it’s in Madison, and the Onion at that point was in Madison, they were no doubt inspired by the event. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion-as-a-predictor-of-literal-fact-in-the-future/471030.md?page=2)